(or 67 for those of you who know that .99 is approxamately equal to 1)
I am a girl.
I hope that didn't come as a surprise to anyone, because then I think I have
more problems than just being insulted . . .
All right. I've done it again: started out my Dose kind of stupidly and
probably confused all of you.
Oh, well. That's my job.
So, I'll continue now.
The other day, Steph and I went to the Sears in town here to check out car
batteries. Upon walking in, this older gentleman who was working turned to
us and said in a rather cocky sounding voice, "Hello, girls." (say the
word 'girls' while sort of spitting and mocking, in kind of a wow-i'm-
surprised-to-see-girls-in-a-Sears-that-doesn't-sell-clothes-or-jewelry-or-
makeup-or-perume sort of way). He asked how he could help us, and we told
him that we were looking for a battery for Stephie's van. He looked at us as
if to imply, "Are you sure your van needs a battery?" (Note: he didn't ask
us that, his look only implied it.)
This man then asked what kind of van it was. Only, when he said it, he
sounded more like he meant to say, "OK, kindergartners, are you sure you know
what a van is?"
After telling him that it's a Chevy Lumina mini van, he's like, "Well, let's
see what we've got." We followed him over to the corner, where he stood
there and said, "Well, these are our car batteries."
Like, what? We don't know what car batteries are? You mean that those big
black boxes aren't giant Legos? Man . . . *grumble* . . .
ha. So, anyway, he gets out the book and looks through it, pausing once to
ask, "Are you sure your van is a Chevy Lumina? They don't make Chevy Lumina
mini vans, do they?" He quickly bit his lip when we said, "Uh, yeah they
do . . ." and he found it listed in his little vehicle battery bible.
Next, he had to go through the fact that there was only one battery left on
the shelf. Like, what? We don't know how to count? I happen to be in
calculus because I think I have three fingers on my hand and two noses on my
face? Right . . .
So -- and this is the real kicker -- after he goes through how the little
sticker on the shelf directly in front of the one and only (*in a stupid
sounding voice: "duh, one? wait, maybe I counted that wrong . . .") battery
that's sitting there . . . wait, let me read back over that sentence . . .
ok, got it (I just lost my spot for a sec), the sticker says that this
battery is going to cost $66.99 (and actually, to take a little side track
here again, he kept on telling us that it was sixty-six dollars. last time I
checked, that little ninety-nine cents was pretty equivilent to another
dollar, bringing the total to about sixty-seven dollars, plus tax). After
making sure that our little heads can comprehend all of these big fat numbers
(*in a Southern Belle accent from 'Gone with the Wind': "oh, my word! All
those big numbers in my pretty little head! Oh, no! What's a poor girl like
me to do!" say this while you dramatically place your hand to your forehead
and throw it back confusedly [is that a word?]). Anyway, so he goes through
all of this and then asks, "Well, you girls have some big boyfriends that can
help you put this in, right?"
Excuse me? I was ready to smack this guy.
We politely answered, "No." Then he asked, "Well, but you know some big
strong guys who can help you, right?"
Sure, we answered annoyedly [is that a word?]. At this point, we were just
ready to leave.
Needless to say, Steph is NOT getting her battery from Sears in River Falls.
Now, granted, I am feeling rather insulted. And when I am insulted, I get
defensive.
So, let me be defensive:
Just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean that I don't know anything about
cars!
I'll admit, I don't know a whole lot, but I do know what a car looks like,
how it runs, and all that other happy jazz that I need to know, ok?
Just because I'm a girl, don't assume that I don't know how to put a battery
in a car.
Yes, I would probably go down the hall and ask the guys to help. But that
doesn't mean that you can assume that I NEED them to help me.
If you see me walking down the street and you've never met me, for all you
know I could be a mechanics major. I could be fixing up an old roadster in
my garage. Hey, I could be working on Jeff Gordon's pit crew for a living!
Ok, so I'm not doing any of those things. But you don't have to assume I'm
not just because I'm a girl.
Well, I think that's about as much defensiveness that I can convey over e-
mail, so for now I'm gonna leave it at that.
Grrrrrrrr!
-Sarah
And, this is the end section where I include your feedback, and general
stupid stuff that I want to include (cuz it's my mailing list and I can!).
1. This is from Amy Gauerke:
"Sorry I didn't send you a present for your wedding, but I've been busy.
Don't worry though, it is on its way. So if you get a big package without a
return address that's from me for you and who ever your husband is."
Thanks, Amy. But I still haven't gotten that present . . .
2. This rather long reply is from my sister, Mindo. It's in response to
Seth's middle name.
"it's spelled deek or deak. i think. also where is he from again? his mom
works as a teacher and his dad is an engineer. his sister, Pamela, is 25 and
has 1 kid and a cool husband named Guy. hes also got a younger brother who is
17 and is really really really super hot. his name is Luke. (did i mention
that Luke is really hot and kinda has a crush on your sister (me, not
beck)). Seth likes cats. your cat's name is poko and it's a black long
haired one with bits of orange and brown and grey and white on it. you guys
own a cool volkswagon jetta (black with leather interior). Seth plays the
guitar and has started his own band (i'm still thinking of a cool name for
it)."
Well, Mindy, he's from California. I think that the Jetta should have a ski
rack on the top. And I'll tell Luke about you . . .
3. This is from Amy Burk:
"hey, i heard that seth is one of those odd people that
has 2 middle names for some reason. one like you said
was deke, and the second one is porche. so it is seth
deke porche. :-)"
Well, since Seth now has two middle names, what's his last name? And, since
his other middle name is Porche, can I have one of those to go with the Jetta?
I think that's it, for now. I'm glad to hear that you guys get a kick out of
reading my Doses. It's nice to know that they brighten your day (and make
you fall out of your chairs and get wierd looks from people walking down the
hall while you're laughing!)