Yup, if you heven't heard, then I'll give you the good news.
I just wish someone would have told me!
Now that you are utterly confused, I'll try and explain this to you.
See, apparently I got married sometime in the last couple of months, and no
one told me. Don't feel bad that you weren't invited to the wedding, because
I wasn't either. I found out about my marital status from my mom, who found
out from a bunch of telemarketers. Apparently they were at my wedding. Too
bad I wasn't.
So, my mom has been getting phone calls at my house for me. Seeing as how
I'm not there (because I'm here at school), my mom politely informs these
annoying telemarketers that I'm not available. So, what do they do? Maybe
they assume that "unavailable" means that I'm married, and they ask to speak
to my husband.
Now, if you were my mom, wouldn't that confuse you? She was rather perplexed
at the idea that her daughter had run off to school and gotten married. And,
I guess it would have been nice if I would have known that I had run off to
school and gotten hitched . . .
So, the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out just who exactly it
is that I've gotten married to. It's kind of entertaining in a way. Since
this whole "husband" thing is kind of funny, I've tried thinking of what kind
of guy he might be. Sara and Steph and I have been discussing this, so,
well, let me introduce you to my husband:
I think my husband's name is Seth. He's kinda tallish. He's got blonde hair
and blue eyes. He wears glasses. Seth is really smart and he's studying
English. I think that in the year 2020 he's going to run for President (cuz
he's about 19, so he wouldn't be eligable to run until 2020). He tells
really funny stories and loves to play chess and Scrabble. Seth likes to
watch scary movies and cooks really good pasta.
Now, obviously, Seth is close to being the perfect guy (I mean, come on, I
don't think I'd settle for less!). Well, Seth is perfect except that he
forgot to invite some people to the wedding. Like me, for instance. He
invited all of those telemarketers, but forgot to invite me.
So, I guess Seth isn't so perfect.
Oh, well.
*Now, for all of you out there who are REALLY gullible, I'm going to explain
this to you: I'm not really married, OK? It's just that it's kind of funny
to keep on adding qualities to my non-existant husband (if you know more
about Seth, tell me about him and I'll keep everyone posted on new Seth
characteristics. I really wanna know more about this non-existant husband of
mine!). So, anyway, if you really do think that I've been THAT corrupted by
college and last month I ran off to Vegas and got hitched to some guy named
Seth, then I've got some ocean-front property in Nebraska that I've got for
sale. It's really cheap!
-Sarah (I don't know Seth's last name yet, so I can't use it. I was thinking
maybe until I find out what it is I'll just do like Cher and Madonna -- I'll
only use my first name)