Desi Life * There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. * You make tea in a saucepan. * You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it. * You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. * You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home. * Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. * You call an older person you've never met before"uncle". * You hide everything from your parents. * Your mother does everything for you if you are male. * You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. * Your relatives alone could populate a small city. * Everyone is a family friend. * Everyone always called you for help on homework. * You went to a university as far away from home as possible. * You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished. * Your best friend got married at the age of 16. * You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup. * You fight over who pays the dinner bill. * You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents. * You teach Westerners swearwords in your language. * You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you. * You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius. * You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on". * You secure your baggage with a rope. * You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up. * You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. * You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school. * Your Dad drives a Nissan or a Toyota. * To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid. * Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names. * Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Indian or not. * If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late. * You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot". * Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried. * You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried. * In the smallest of subcompact cars, you still can't see over the wheel without a phone book. WITH the phone book, you can't reach the pedals. * Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting. * You notice that whenever you go to another Indian's house, your parents always talk about businesses... especially if they're for sale. |
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