2
Light
Cogito, ergo sum.
I see very clearly that in order to think it is necessary to exist.
Rene Descartes
"The keeper of the city key
Put shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim's door
With insufficient schemes."
King Crimson, The Court Of The Crimson King
I was no longer a kid, but I was not not yet a man. I was old enough to dream, and too young to accept the reality of this world in decadency. I was in that time when one thinks that all possible disillusionment had already taken place. I assumed that hope was but just another word.
Suddenly, the idea came to my mind. It seemed to me the best one I could ever had gotten. Definitely, there would not be a better solution for me. It would be the perfect exit. It was not the farewell of a desperate soul but the taking up for a special man, similar to the way was received up in ancient times.
I cherished the idea for a while, to meet the lightening in the heights. Outside, out there in the countryside. Yea, it would be a great take off, without sadness, and no leftovers. To leave behind nothing. To free the spirit in a blast of light.
Thinking metaphysically, I thought that not anyone would receive it. However, I speculated. I wondered who would deserve being taken in such a brilliant way. To leave in a twinkle, leaving no rests. I supposed that those who were able to find it, joining mystical and physical knowledge, would get it. Those who could reach the point in space time and higher dimensions. To leave in a sudden, to go in a second is something that would happen to those who are right. I was sure I would qualify. Moreover, it was not hard to realize how to get struck by lightning. It was necessary only to look for a place where the electrical potential were the easiest to be broken. I knew I could get it if I tried.
To find the place to meet the lightning bolt, I browsed in my mind for a place to go, the beach, the desert, the rainforest, the mountains. I made up my mind and decided to go to the cliff near the volcano during the most rainy time, the beginning of the summer. I wondered about possible places. Among the clouds, on the range of volcanoes. seemed to be the best place to receive that heavenly gift. The best spot to get that token of divine mercy.
The bus stopped in the last, the highest town, and the last passenger descended. Among them, I went into the small station to buy something and ask for directions to make my way to the volcano. It was already the first hours of the evening. The rain fell down agitated by the wind. The indicated road soon led me out of town.
I found a tree. Since it was raining more abundantly, I sat near its base. Some honey and bread would give me the energy I needed for the next part of the way. I ate ceremonially, thinking this would be my Last Supper. Sighing, I closed my eyes and rested my head on my knees, holding around my legs with my arms. I wished the rain would increase, but I felt less and less water falling on my back. I opened my eyes and looked around.
The clouds were moving away. Moonlight illuminated the clouds from behind. I got up and started to walk. The longer I ascended, the clearer the sky became. After an hour, I was able to see the top of the dark rocky promontory, which looked transfigured. Its silhouette highly contrasted with the white snow capping the volcano crater that was behind it.
I continued my ascending march till I could see the cliff completely. By this time, the sky was with no clouds but stars and the full moon. I realized that, for at least that night, it would be impossible to meet the lightning. “What was wrong?” I wondered. Definitely, I did not know. Nevertheless, I was decided not to give up. I could wait for as long as it were necessary. Instead of walking by the trail to the base of the cliff, I made up my mind for a climbing. In this way I would spend more time to reach the top, and get some advantage from the moonlight.
Turning toward the north I went into the forest until I met a huge wall. Before starting the ascent, I grabbed some candies and carrots from my backpack. I ate them quickly and let my feet and hands pull me up the way. Since it was summer, the rocks were wet and had abundant moss. It made the ascension slow and hard. However I had a beautiful scenery before my eyes. Being in one of the highest parts of the range I was able, to see hundreds of miles away.
In a moment, because of the wet moss on the often very smooth rocks, the climbing became impossible. I couldn't go upwards anymore. I was not able to descend, either. I was trapped in the wall. At that height, falling would be terrible. What should I do?
There was a possibility of passing through a cleft in the rock. I attempted passing through. However, I couldn't, because it was narrow and the backpack did not make it through. Putting aside the backpack, I took off my outer clothes, the jacket, the sweater and scarf. Joining them together, I attached them to my belt. Then I ascended through the narrow cleft.
After passing that part, I hauled the backpack and continued. This technique helped me to advance with more safety. With great patience and big effort, I continued moving up. However, there was a part of the way where the inclination surpassed the vertical. I tried carefully to ascend, but a rock broke up and I almost fell down. In a trance, I hit my knee. That was bad.
I wondered why I had chosen that dangerous route. The morning was coming. Then I saw an eagle which took off from the highest trees whose tops I could see from above. The eagle soared over the trees, moving in wide circles. Soon, another one joined it and together they slowly ascended moving back and forth. After a while they were flying at the same height where I was standing in the wall. Their flight was majestic! They continually called each other. Although sometimes they moved in the same direction and sometimes they did not, their trajectories ascended at the same rate. It seemed they agreed step by step.
They went higher and higher following the same pattern of flight. Later on, they were just a couple of spots against the sky of the dawn. Looking at them I gained understanding in perseverance. I had to be skillful to endure the ascent. Then I continued my ascent. I performed as they did. Slowly, I started moving sidewards till I found a better route to follow upwardly. I kept on this strategy, even enjoying every hardship of the way. Considering attentively the risk, I opted always for the the most secure. With all my senses and my strength, I made my way by the rocks until the morning was about to break out.
No, you're never too old to Rock'n'Roll
but you was too young to die.
Jethro Tull
After hours climbing, finally I overcame the wall and walked over its crest till I reached the peak of the cliff. I just got to the top of the rocky promontory when the sun rose above the far mountains. There was fog among the trees but there were no more clouds,, the sky was blue, deep blue. Surely it was a beautiful place to be. The majestic snow-capped volcano dominated to the south. The snow covered only its superior part, the crater, because it was summer. Toward the east a huge mountain standing, with a vertical wall, covered a large part of the scenery. The valley spread out in a vast region till the range of mountains drew the skyline.
I delighted in the panoramic view of the valley when I perceived that, from far off, a group of clouds moved over the trees. They moved swiftly, coming together from the same direction. They looked like the traces the jets leave in their flight. It was awesome, and at the same time frightening. What could it be?
In the same way the rows are sketched, as the plow moves on over a field, lines of cloud were moving up towards the mountains' peaks. Similar to wakes, the tracks left by ships, the streams of clouds crept over the forest till they reached the cliff. There, they ascended vertically and, slowly, disolved.
I had not recovered from the stunning impression when a group of birds flew directly to the point where I was standing. They flew in formation till they arrived at the peak. Almost hitting the rock, they pulled away and went around the promontory.
After I had enjoyed these natural events, I found myself in a predicament. Running after the lightning, I arrived to that very special place, but with no clouds at all. The climbing had been a great experience, but now to come back without getting what I went looking for did not seem attractive to me. I realized the being there had a reason, and I had to understand something new, to learn a lesson.
I figured out that the place was my classroom. The mountains, forest and sky would be the blackboard, but, what about the teacher? Being alone should not be a difficulty for me. That was no problem, I would learn by myself. It would be even better than an scheduled class. It sounded good to me. I could decide the content and extent of the lessons and also the break-times. I had, then, to chose the methodology to follow and the experiments to perform.
To have a great class for understanding all that I needed before the lightning was my purpose. I hoped to have in the afternoon the same whether that I met the day before when I arrived. Looking around, I found the first topic of my lesson. Since the group of birds were still flying around, I opted for having a flight lesson. Learning how to fly was the first class I would take. I focused my attention on my subject. I observed their movements, the way they used their wings to change direction and gained impulse during their flight. After nearly a couple of hours, I was able to describe how the wings moved during the diverse kinds of flights. I made a mental test, I considered it as a learned lesson, so I could take a break.
After the chocolate break time, wondering about the profit of my first lesson, I thought it had been a waste of time. Knowing how to fly and having no wings was just useless. I needed to have a different perspective; maybe, analyzing in a different way I could obtained indeed a relevant lesson. I asked the birds whether they could give a hint, perhaps they knew how I could apply what I had learned. However, I did not speak bird language, so there were no way to properly ask them and get back an appropriate answer.
Since to get a valuable information from the birds, I needed to understand their singing, I decided the topic of the second class would be to learn birds' talk. It was another waste of time, I got no clue of what a bird said in more than an hour of vain attempts. Near noon, I finished the class with at least one satisfaction, I had not learn something that would be also useless to me. I took another break time. I ate chocolate and honey and stretched my arms and legs. Then, a sound like a buzz approached the place where I was standing on the rocks. I could not see anything, but the source of sound seemed to come nearer and nearer. When it was close enough to my reach, it started to spin around the cliff. I could follow the sound with my sight but there was nothing that produced it. There were no object related with the perception of that flying sound. Still astonished, I sat down. After a while, I had my eyes prying but nothing could be seen. I wondered about that phenomenon, another unexplained thing to think about. However, why not to try to think using scientific knowledge and let the imagination figure out a solution? This was something having no visible appearance, but flying around.
Meditating about it, I got a way to continue my classes. The next topic would be about the practical consequences of knowing how wings works. I thought that, somehow, I could fly. Maybe I could fly in perception only. I would virtually fly if, having my body resting, the way I visually perceived the scenery changed, in distance and perspective, as moving away from the initial point. I planned an imaginary trajectory going from the place I stood and soaring toward the southeast to pass in between the mountain and the volcano. The consequences of moving in that path would be that I would see the size of both, month and volcano increasing, while the general perspective should change.
I chose the best position I could find sitting between two rocks. I tried many and diverse ways to get any result, but I could not until I fixed my eyes upon a rock in the mountain that was in front of me. I perceived a slight change in my perception of the volcano. It seemed as if its highest part made a small twist. Encouraged by this small achievement I kept on trying for hours but all that I got was just to see how the peak spun around several degrees.
Exhausted by the stressful effort, I quit my intention near the sunset. Moreover there were no clouds, so I was disappointed. I felt that I got neither any lesson and nor lightning. Why? My understanding concerning the lesson became expanded. It had been a lesson of faith. I remember that saying, "If you have faith ... you can say to this mountain..."
Then I realized God's presence. Sure! Since God was everywhere, so He was there also. I thought that if I did not meet the lightning it was because I had not ask God for it. Would God give it to me? I prayed for clouds, and after a while, from behind a mountain, a huge white cloud appeared. It was resplendent, reflecting the light of the sun. I was excited, so I kept praying. I ask for many clouds and rain but nothing happened. The white cloud stood there alone where it appeared at first, but increased in size. I prayed more and more, but in vain. It seemed that my faith was not working, or at least not enough.
I tried to make an explanation and I guessed that it was not lacking faith but it was that the reason I was there was to get a lesson of faith instead of a lightning. "God," I said, "If this is not yet time for a lightning, could you then show me the Last Events?" The size and shape of the white cloud started to change. I saw its form like drawing of the outline the four riders of the Apocalypse.
Terrified, I fell down on my knees. I closed my eyes and prayed God to forgive me for having dared such requests. I acknowledged God's sovereignty over his creation. How could I choose the time and way he would take me into heaven? I was confronted by the one who gives life and takes it away in his own will. I understood then that God had a purpose for me and I had to accept the challenge to live according to his will.
I had to come back home and live by faith. I got light. I had been enlightened from high; I realized that the purpose of the trip had been achieved. That was the reason I went up, to get light, wisdom to live, to learn to live by faith. When I finished my prayer, it was dark and cold. I was afraid to fall while descending, so I decided to wait till the next morning to get down from that place.
Time keeps movin' on
Friends they turn away
I keep movin' on
But I never found out why
I keep pushing so hard the dream
I keep trying to make it right
Through another lonely day, whoa
Janis Joplin, Kozmic Blues
The next morning I decided not to go back by the same way. I would start walking by faith and it would be great going back home by a new and amazing way. There was a shelter for alpinists some miles away. I headed toward the cabin. When I arrived at the place, I found nobody; that made me feel good because I could spend all the time I needed to meditated on the last day's events. I decided to make it my home for the whole day. I prepared some tea, and sat in front of the window. I enjoyed watching the snow outside while thinking of what had had happened to me, and what I would expect in the future.
The next day I went around the volcano. Descending from the arid region to the forest, I walked to the East. Once I reached again the forest full of pine, I felt better. I was so happy to be there, it was an amazing place to walk through. I discovered much scenery and some amazing spots that seemed to be a place planned fairy tales. I met a small lake. It was so exciting that I could not resist and I dove into it. The water was so cold that I did not spend lot of time swimming in it. When I came up from the water I felt zestful and my eyes perceived everything as if it all was brand new. The colors of the trees and the sky had been highlighted. I had discovered the power of a cold bath, it was a very cool refreshment!
I continued my trip around the mountains through the ravines trying to orient my way, helped by the sun's position. However, in a moment I felt that I was lost. I was tired, and I did not know what to do. I met some blue birds. Desperately, although I knew they could not understand me, I asked them for directions. They just flew away.
Just kidding, I went after them, asking them not to leave me alone. Soon I found a trail which I followed until I met the freeway. I felt safe. Not much later, I started to walk by the highway. Later, I got home.