Most people that know me know that the majority of the stories I tell involve me eating or preparing, or getting food. This is no coincidence because the majority of my life is spent eating, preparing, or getting food. So keep that in mind as you hear the next three stories.
Friday my boss came out of his office looking around as if he was needing to find someone. Since it was Friday at 4:00 in the afternoon, most people decided it was time to skip out early. Can’t blame them really, I would have too if I could but I was scheduled to close that night. Since I was that last of a few there, my boss came up to me and asked if I would like a free dinner. Never being the person to pass up free food, I accepted. Turns out the dinner was for Long Horn Steakhouse. A new steakhouse was opening up and they wanted to have a few people come in a couple days before so the new staff could train. So on Saturday, my brother and I went to the steakhouse. I decided to eat the 14oz KC strip. Why? Because that was the biggest piece of steak they were offering for that night. While we were waiting on the steak we looked over to the wall beside us. There was a giant stuffed bull’s head looking directly at us. I swore his eyes could follow me. It’s a little unsettling eating a giant steak with the corpse’s head staring at you. Anyway the steak was tremendous. And I was stuffed. Then our waitress came by and asked if we would like a complementary “Chocolate Eruption.” Heck yeah. I thought this was just going to be some small piece of cake that we would end up sharing. It would be a little treat after such a big meal. It wasn’t so much of a piece of cake as much as it was an entire cake with about a half pint of ice cream at the side. We ate all…then we rested. There really isn’t much to do after that type of meal. All you can really do is sit there with your mouth wide open (because breathing out of your nose has become extremely difficult) and moan. The waitress gave us a check; just to practice because again the meal was free. The bill was over $46 for the two of us. Now you got know something about me…I’m cheap. An expensive meal for me is anything over $8. So this was an awesome experience.
So that takes care of eating. Tuesday, I decided to grill some hamburgers. So I got out my gas grill and turned the propane tank on. Turned on a burner and pressed the ignition button. Nothing happened. Pushed it again…nada. So I thought I’ll go ahead and open the second burner. Great idea, right? I pushed the ignite button again…it definitely started. All I remember was hearing a big “WUUSSSH” sound then noticing ashes where my arm hair used to be.
Okay on to getting food. Wednesday, I decided to get a Pizzonne at Pizza Hut for lunch. So, I called in my order. They told me they no longer had the Pizzonne but they did have a two medium special for $19.99. How those are two similar orders, I have yet to figure out. So, I decide to just go with the personal pan. Next, I went through the drive thru to pick up my order. Greeting me was a familiar face. I have dealt with this lady before. She is a very nice and personal lady, however she is a little…off. As she was trying to use the touch screen to complete my order she complained about how she couldn’t use technology because of mass amounts of static electricity that she had stored in her body. “It’s true,” she explained. “In fact, I’m scared to pump my own gas.” “When I was a kid, the TV used to go out. So they would have me stand next to the television so it would work.” I escaped without laughing too hard. All I can say is I’m definitely going back to that Pizza Hut. It so interesting what you can learn from others.
That’s all for now. Keep it real.