Fixing_a

A Girl's Guide to...Fixing a Flat

You're driving home from a night of debauchery (actually, just Olive Garden with the girls, but we can dream...). You hear a loud 'pop' and your heart lurches. Road rage shooting? Not likely in rural Missouri on an empty inter-state. You simply have a flat tire. I say 'simply', but if you don't know what you're doing, it's not going to be 'simple.'

So anyway, back to the story. You're feeling sluggish from your carb overload, looking forward to that batch of brownies calling your name at home and now you have to deal with a flat tire.

Any kind of car trouble always fills me with dread. I don't like feeling vunerable and a broken down car on the highway doesn't give me warm and cuddly feelings. Also, my brain is hard-wired to fear the worst and justified or not, I'm deathly afraid that some normal looking guy is going to stop to help me and I'll end up naked in his basement's cold damp well having him yell 'It rubs the lotion on its skin.' 'It puts the lotion on its skin.' creepy!

But I digress. So how do we, like the kick butt girls we are, avoid such a scenerio? Be a good Girl Scout and be prepared. No, I was never a member of that honorable institution, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have been great. Here let me prove it to you. Here's my checklist. Print it out, make changes that fit you and put it in your car. See? I could have been a great Girl Scout!

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Safety First! Pull over to the side of the road as soon as possible. You don't want to drive on a flat tire because you might damage the rims (= lots of $), but it's better to be safe. You can drive a little ways if it means you are going to a safer spot. No sense getting hit by passing cars! If possible, pull to the side of the road (a parking lot would be best) where you'll be working away from traffic.

Be sensible. If you have your cell phone and can call someone (or a service like AAA) to help--do it. No sense proving you can change your tire if you don't have to!

Get Dirty and Mean Business. If you don't have any other options and are safely off the road, then get down to business and just do it. You don't want to appear as if you are unsure of yourself. That way if anyone creepy offers to help, you can trust your intuition and say 'no thanks. I'm almost done.'

Changing the Tire:
* Put your car in park and turn off the ignition.
*Set emergency flashers.
*Set parking brake.
*If you are on a hill, you might want to find a rock or something to wedge in front of one of the non-flat tires to help stabilize.
*Open your trunk and get everything out. You'll need the jack, tool to unscrew the tire (if not part of the jack), and spare tire.
*Take the cover off of your wheel (if applicable)
*Loosen and remove the bolts on your flat tire. NOTE: Do this before you jack up your car. It's likely you'll be pushing pretty hard. **Left-y Loos-y--Right-y Tight-y**
*Use your hubcap or wheel cover to store the bolts you've removed. Be careful not to knock it over. You don't want to pull A Christmas Story scenerio where they go flying into the snow and you yell out the F bomb for all to hear...
*Jack up your car. There should be an indent or a hole in the car's undercarriage near your tire that a portion of the jack will fit into. NOTE: There are different types of jacks so I'm just going to say you should go out tonight and look at how yours works.
*You need to jack up your car just enough for the tire to pulled off plus another couple of inches in order for the spare to fit.
* Remove the flat tire and roll to ground near your trunk.
*Lift your spare tire onto the bolts and push back.
*Place the nuts on and gently tighten. (You'll finish tightening once your car's off the jack).
*Take your car back down and remove the jack.
*Tighten the bolts even more now. Don't want that tire falling off!!
*Put your spare tire, wheel cover, and tools in the trunk.
**YOU DID IT!

Notes--the general rule of thumb for driving on a spare is 50 miles an hour for not more than 50 miles. So that means. Go home or to a service center. No more cruising for you tonight.