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Bride of Neighbour Sex by Indie |
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I
hate, hate, hate, hate living below a chick that works odd shifts.
Because it means that some days she has showers at 2 o clock in
the morning, some days she arrives home at 5 am, and worst of all, some
days, she wakes me up caterwauling as she is screwing her boyfriend at
half past four in the morning. On
a damn Sunday. Don’t
say it, I get the “Oh your just jealous ‘cause she’s having more
sex than you” comments from my friends, but it ain’t that.
Although she does has way more sex than me and I would really
like to have more. Just
more than her, anyway. But
that would mean sex at least twice a night, four times a day at weekends
and I’d imagine that would chafe after a week or so. Is
she not sore? And surely
the plaster on the bedroom wall must be falling off due to the amount of
banging their headboard does. Next
Christmas, I’m getting her a screwdriver to screw her goddamn
headboard in properly, some polyfilla and a gag. Surely
they should be out of this phase by now?
They’ve been together about four months; nobody has this much
sex at four months into a relationship.
Mind you, what the hell do I know?
My longest relationship was three months.
But the sex was starting wane even then… Yeah,
I am jealous she’s having more sex than me.
It’s just sour grapes. But
I’ll have the last laugh when she’swalking around all bandy legged
in the later years. Skank.
Yes,
I've quite finished ranting now. Sigh, mutter, grumble. |
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© Indie |
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