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Foot Luggage By SnowBunny |
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Life
has so many unrealized mysteries. I
have managed, through some bizarre twist of fate, to stumble upon one
such incident. It is far greater than the mating of bagpipes (Bagpipes are
alive - There is no way a human could ever be that imaginative to create
such a monster who wails so!), and a greater feat than the migration of
Salmon to their birthplace... This
miracle goes on literally beneath our feet... I
shall begin. Do
you sometimes sit and ponder how you can preserve the beloved footwear
you have so ogled and drooled over until they are in the sale when you
can get them? And although
they are 2 sizes too small you still die for them. The though of your
toes all mangled up beneath your body bears no sway in this
decision...Well whilst at a gathering of the drug revenged, beer
chugging, bass pumping, tub-thumpin' nature (i.e. Leeds Love Parade) I
discovered the ingenious, the miracle, way in which these people
overcome this little obstacle. Well
maybe I should not say the people due to: Time
lapsed/Beer drunk X drugs taken = Loss of all body functions and
co-ordination! So
I re-arrange the last statement - The individuals feet have came up with
an ingenious way to preserve their physical selves and modesty by
collecting "Foot Luggage". The
collection has multiple purposes. However maybe I should explain what
foot luggage is all about. The
shoes, controlled by the feet, head towards an unsuspecting piece of
unused (or used if its unlucky) loo roll or discarded bag and transforms
in into a brolly like structure, thereby keeping it safe from harm and
any damaging marks. It allows its "luggage" to absorb it until all
danger is passed and then tosses it away like a pit bull would a small
child’s limb. In
the mean time it has sacrificed itself the view and hope of ever
returning the same way again. However this amazing resource is not all
great and glorious. The foot carries its luggage far more distance than
its host intended to. This is when things become quite nasty between the
usually co-operative pair... Such
things like gum and cigarette ends may look like willing companions
however the truth to the unsuspecting footwear has far more dire a
consequence. This cannot be
discarded and continues to torment the limb until exhaustion dragging
into its grip all asunder. However,
as nature has it, the torment shall not last much past a day as the
offending obstruction withers and dies. I
have yet to capture either of the objects in a co-operative mood. When
addressed with the questions that surround this mystery, the response is
nothing more than silence. Maybe its me... maybe I do not understand the
way it whooshes its smell at me... maybe it has a far more complex
communication wave than I can comprehend. I
hope in writing this I have opened eyes to allow more insight of these
mysteries, and hope in the end to unite all to form a culture devoted to
the ways of the luggage - a perfect waste less society. |
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| © SnowBunny | |
