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50 Things You Need To Have Done By The Time You're Thirty |
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We're not saying you won’t
be complete if you don’t do these things, but it might make your life
interesting and give you some goals. 1.
Go away
on holiday alone. 2.
Buy a
vibrator. 3.
Learn to
appreciate the fact that sometimes, you mum was right. 4.
Go to a
live rock concert and mosh with the indie kids. 5.
Go to a
cool nightclub and pose with the wannabe IT girls. 6.
Go to a
bad nightclub and make fun of everyone. 7.
Argue
with someone loudly in public. 8.
Make new
friends on the Internet (Hi Kharis & Lady of Hay!). 9.
Fall off
your stiletto heels while drunk. 10.
Get a
mortgage. 11.
Develop
a taste for fine wine, not just fizzy £1.89 bottles of Lambrusco Bianco.
SnowBunny, this means YOU! 12.
Get into
debt. County Court
Injunctions are us, dude! (This isn’t a serious suggestion, but hell,
it happens.) 13.
Get an
appendage pierced. Ears
don’t count, sorry. 14.
One
Word: Tattoo. You can laser
it off later. 15.
Join a
gym. I’m not saying you
have to go. 16.
Go out
in fancy dress on a night other than Halloween. 17.
Dude,
get a web page! 18.
Find out
what your IQ is. 19.
Go to
the races and gamble. 20.
Go to an
exclusive boutique, act haughty and try on everything.
Watch the sales assistants fawn all over you then don’t buy a
damn thing. 21.
Embarrass
yourself in public. Anything
involving vomiting, flatulence, or nakedness counts. 22.
Decide
on a career. 23.
Dye your
hair a really drastic colour, then instantly regret it. 24.
Spend
Christmas away from your family. Do
something different. 25.
Give
some money to a homeless person. 26.
Help an
old lady/man with their shopping/across the road. 27.
Get a
pet, and keep it alive. 28.
Decorate
your own house. 29.
Get so
drunk that other people have to tell you how you got home last night. 30.
Learn to
navigate your way around the Internet.
Make use of all this information at your fingertips! 31.
Make a
fashion faux pas. 32.
Learn to
appreciate your body for the beautiful thing it is. 33.
Get
something published, even if it’s a ranty complaining letter to you
local newspaper. 34.
Learn to
drive. 35.
Sleep
with a woman. Hey, you
might like it! Blanco,
this means YOU. (Joke,
I love you really hunny!) 36.
Have a
one-night stand. 37.
Get a
caution by the police for a really petty crime. 38.
Get a
proper handbag. 39.
Go to
see a psychologist/therapist. 40.
Be on
TV, even if it’s only grinning inanely in the background of a news
broadcast. 41.
Be on
the radio, even if it’s on a phone in quiz or song request show. 42.
Watch
some porn. 43.
Sing on
a karaoke. Gloria Gaynor
doesn’t count. 44.
Go to a
health spa and get pampered, even for a day. 45.
Go to a
classy, posh hotel for a meal. 46.
Break
somebody’s heart. 47.
Get your
heart broken. 48.
Get
barred from a pub for being too lairy. 49.
Write a
poem. 50.
Learn to
appreciate cheese. |
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| © Indie | |
