Danny’s Future

Danny, his Family, his Support’s Hopes for his Future

The question that I, as well as Danny and his family ask, what happens next? A beautiful, wonderful, talented man who has experienced years of abuse, medically, physically and emotionally, because of the way he is as an individual… very much misunderstood with not many willing to get to know him as he is as an individual, where does he now fit into society?

All of us as human beings have different ways of doing things, disability or not. But when we are not diagnosed with a disability we as people in society are able to have our “quirks” let’s call them without discrimination. This is not the case unfortunately when you are in fact diagnosed with a disability such as Autism. When you have that diagnosis attached to you, you are no longer a member of “society”. This is my observation and feeling only, so please for those of you, who read this, do not feel I am speaking on all societies’ perception.

Through my eyes, Danny has always been the most interesting, complex individual I have ever met. He has probably taught me more than I could ever teach him. The innocence and beauty that makes him happy is one that most of us miss, this I find sad as it’s this that makes him so extremely special to me and I’m sure his family.

Now for some brainstorming, and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

What happen to Danny when his wonderful and you will have to take my word on this, caring, strong family unit is not able to care for him anymore?

We as Danny’s support have been trying to find some sort of safe, compassionate, empathic environment for Danny when the family can no longer care for him?

Anyone in this situation will know this is the most confusing, difficult maze to follow. We know there has to be a way, but finding it through this maze is a difficult task.

His mother, please forgive me for saying this, is aging. His siblings, who are so supportive, have lives to lead…they have a right to this just as you and I. Where then does this leave this wonderful man in the future? And how do we find the funds, that we know are out there, to have him supported in the way he should be.

To know Danny, to be able to read outside the box and understand his sense of humour, his love of learning, his excitement of nature is to know a man who is so special to this world. To also understand his way of expressing anger, pain, fear…this I have found over time is completely in his eyes. I have made the mistake of misreading him, but we all are human and make mistakes. In most cases I have to say I am pleased to have been able to know him in a way that I can see in his eyes his feelings, I humble myself as well to say I have missed signs that he has tried to show me. Danny is a forgiving man, who knows that just because I may not have understood his needs at a certain time through his expressions, I am always forgiven as he knows my way and his way of communicating are different, and he, the incredible man that he is, allows me my misunderstandings.

Isn’t it an amazing thing…he is considered disabled but is more forgiving of human error than those without disabilities.

His family, an incredible family, and my hopes as his support as well as his friend, a place where Danny can feel safe, can express himself in his way; can explore his interests and talents in an environment that is encouraging instead of trying to use sedation to have him “controlled” by someone else’s view of what’s appropriate.

One person’s way differs from everyone else’s, this is what needs to be addressed and understood with working with people in general.

My way is different from Danny’s as it is different from those who read this. To let go of our way for those moments and realize Danny’s way….accept it and cherish what his way is, who he is as a human being, all I can say is it’s the most beautiful and insightful experience.

I hope that what I hope for his future is the same for his family. A place where Danny can feel free to be who he is, with support who understands his way and accepts it, a home for him that gives him the freedom to be who he is without judgment.

We continue to search for this, and yes, it’s difficult, but it is out there. Finding it is the goal. His family and I continue daily to search for this.

Until we find this haven for Danny, we continue to support him with love, compassion and caring, isn’t this how we all want to be treated?