Paradise: From Desert to Ocean
Life is full of odds and chance.  Everything in life is left up to chance; there is no true security and no guarantee on anything on planet earth.  Once I took a trip to Mexico.  It was a regular family vacation: kids fighting, parents upset, and me sitting alone on the plane without a word for conversation or disagreement.  I am always this way in these sorts of situations, because I like to listen to the stupid arguments that people have, and I love watching others.  I always notice the little things about people, and I get a laugh out of the things that no one else notices.  A kid with a mullet brushing his oily, dirtied, black hair with self admiration and self-centeredness, a middle-aged man in love with the butt of his cigarette sucking down each pull through his rotten teeth as if it were his last, distorted looks, self envy, and other human expressions are my playground for self enjoyment.  I never make fun of anyone, but I enjoy watching their actions when they think that no one is looking.  The plane lands and it is hot.  My heart is in desperation for the smell of the ocean, because (besides my hobby of people watching) I am totally empty.  The past few months have been dreadful, after my terrible break up with the one I �loved.�  At least I thought I loved her, but it truly was a relationship based on habit and repetition.  The same bad things happened all of the time that drove me crazy that I simply sublimated from the public and from myself.  A taxi-bus to the hotel and I notice the poverty stricken areas, torn by corrupt police, lack of food, lack of shelter, lack of money, lack of everything except for love.  A strange love in these places, because the people have nothing, yet their hearts are more open to each other than those who have everything.  A weather-beaten mamma holding the dirty, scarred hand of her toddler as they carry the groceries across the cracked streets to a falling home that reeks of mold and sea salt.  But she holds that hand as tight as anyone, and would give her life for that little boy.  For they know that they are joined, and feel the passion of togetherness.

The bus pulls into a
gorgeous area that looks as if the world we were just in has turned upside down.  Swaying palm leaves, glittering Christmas lights, nicely paved roads, well-kept shops, beautiful architecture, and wealthy people, but the ocean remains the same.  The ocean is always its crystal blue fading into emeralds and diamonds that carry the dreams and wishes of all us: the ocean remains the same if you are rich, poor, ugly, pretty, fat, skinny, white, black, brown, alone, or together.  My heart is still the desert, with more cacti than the skillet called Arizona; I feel my existence is worthless and my troubles and trials have left me with nothing except for a sore heart.  The whole world around me is happy, and I try to be happy, but I can�t do it.  Don�t get me wrong, I am a darling to all of the people I meet and they continue to discuss my warmth and kindness all through the night, but what is inside is the problem.  I turn to the drink, because my mind is stricken with sorrow.  I drink until it seems the waves and thrust of the ocean have moved to the marvelous marble tile, and the bar tender has left for the morning.  I struggle to my room and the ocean has a hold of me.  The bed is now the ocean and I am but a schooner in an easterly storm.  I recall the past and drown until I sleep.
The next morning my sorrow continues, but it is beautiful.  The entire summer scene begins to consume me, and I become a part of it.  I have some warmth and wetness in the heart now and I enjoy the morning with the family.  Through my enjoyment, I decide to start early and grab a pint at the bar.  The bar tender gladly fills my cup, and I even more gladly empty it.  As I begin my request for him to fill me up, something grabs me from my stool and I slowly turn my head to the open door leading to the tourist-loading zone.  I see two eyes, the bluest and brightest eyes I have ever seen; and through these eyes I see the same deserted desperation and heat as in mine.  I see the heart as big as that of a lion, but this heart is another desert suffering from the unwanted trip of a lifetime.  She is so graceful and divine that I wanted to lower my head for respect, but I could not pull away from those eyes.  Her hair was frizzy from the humidity, but it was the sun to me.  She was very frustrated with the heat, and the lack of good company; so, she was pulled as well.  Her frustration was lost in translation, and was turned into a connection of the soul.  For I knew that frustration very well: the emptiness.  Dressed in winter clothes, she was not ready for the heat, but she kept her cool.  Then something happened, and she met eyes with me.  The lord had touched my heart and it was no longer the sandy frying pan it had once been.  It was now the ocean.  I knew from that moment that I would be exploring a whole new world with this one: THE ONE.
Later that evening we were introduced, and we both were reluctant to share anything, and yet we knew everything.  Nothing in paradise caught my attention anymore; I didn�t care to look at the little human actions anymore, all I wanted was the education of everything to do with her.  Days had passed and I was right; we were one.  We both now laughed at the follies of human expression, together we shared the ocean, the sun, the moon, the stars, and the heart.  A beach chair is clearly meant for a single body, and we were one, so we fit.  Together at last with what we both were missing: love.  The sand, the ocean, the hotels, the poverty, the palm trees, the hard working men at the restaurant, the dolphins, the seagulls, and all of the surroundings were surpassed by a single look of the brightest, bluest, warmist, most loving eyes on the planet.  The look that I was given could not be mistaken: it was love at first site that will last for
eternity.
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