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| Jokes |
| Got any Grapes? This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the bar again and asks the bartender "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender, losing his patience, screams at the duck, "I told you duck, I don't have any grapes and if you ask me again I will nail your feet to the floor!!" The duck looked startled and leaves. Two days later the duck returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?" |
| Hillbilly Medical Terms Benign ................ What you be after you be eight. Bacteria ............... Back door to cafeteria. Barium ................. What you do with dead folks. Cesarean Section ....... A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan ................ Searching for the cat. Cauterize .......... Made eye contact with her. Colic ............... A sheep dog. Coma ............... A punctuation mark. D&C ................ Where Washington is. Dilate ............. To live longer than your kids do. Enema ............. Not a friend. Fester ............ Quicker than someone else. Fibula ............ A small lie. G.I.Series ......... World Series of military baseball. Hangnail ........... What you hang your coat on. Impotent ........... Distinguished, well known. Labor Pain .......... Getting hurt at work. Morbid .............. A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates ............ Cheaper than day rates. Medical Staff ....... A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake. Node .................... I knew it. Outpatient .............. A person who has fainted. Pap Smear ................ A fatherhood test. Pelvis ................... Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative ........... A letter carrier. Recovery Room .... Place to do upholstery. Secretion ....... Hiding something. Tablet .......... A small table to change babies on. Seizure .......... Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section. Terminal Illness .... Getting sick at the train station. Tumor ............... More than one. Urine ............... Opposite of mine. Varicose ............ Near by. Hospital ............ The biggest building in town, other than Ed's feed warehouse. |