1. On January 1, 1998, shave all hair which could not be considered "peach fuzz." Also except eyebrows which may not grow back.
2. Allow hair to grow without shaving, trimming, or otherwise interrupting growth for 100 days.
3. Write in [a] journal at least once each day about experiences. Emphasis, of course, should be on those experiences which relate to this project. However, any subject matter of concern may be included.
4. Document growth by photgraphing my head at approximately the same time each day with a Polaroid camera.
5. Maintain sense of self-worth and own beauty, and the worth and beauty of others.
--sjl
January 1, 1998
DAY 2 1/2/98 10:22 am
dad just noticed. he doesn't like it, doesn't approve. but he did say I'm the one who has to deal with it. he asked why (answer: to study people's reactions and the process of growth). told me he hopes I won't do it again. mom still hasn't seen me.
DAY 3 1/3/98 4:40 pm
first observaton: men seem to react less severely than women (except dad). NOTE: not a very significant observation.
mom's friends kim and mevvy respectively said "Thumbs up--cool--you're a doll with or without hair" and "It's wrong."
DAY 6 1/6/98 11:05 pm
not much to report--didn't go out today.
can't help rubbing my head.
January 10, 1998
DAY 11 Sunday, 1/11/98 9:55 pm
...Matt suggested I contemplate the word discipline in relation to this project as I have set my self this list [of] rules and so forth. "discipline is the hallmark of achievement" (sp?). It's a Matt-ism. Interesting given traditional head-shavings. earlier this (school) year, I witnessed an Indian (?) tradition in which a young (only a few months old) girl's head was shaved with hair being sacrificed in thanks for the girl's life (by her parents). Also, Matt shaved his head in honor of his black belt test. Some Eastern monks keep their heads shaven as well. I'm trying to connect these traditions/occurances with the aphorism...
Also, I thought to consider the word/title "resolution" seeing as I have resolved to follow the guidelines I outlined on the first page of the journal. Additionally, this word seems to have special meaning as day one was January first. Then the question becomes, "why only 100 days?" New Year's Resolutions are generally more long-lasting--or at least intended to be so.
of course, originally, the discipline and resolve were merely means to end... the heart of the project was about growth, beauty, vanity... nonetheless, it is still early and I'm sure later experiences and greater contemplation shall reveal the best title.
DAY 16 1/16/98 11:37 pm
ran into Roz today. she asked if my hair would be back in by summer. (she's my summer boss). interesting--I thought she might have a problem with it. I'll have to examine this issue more closely some other time.
DAY 19 1/19/98 10:54 pm
...I don't think the project is going very well. :J I neglected to anticipate less reaction as my hair grows out. still, I think the photographs [from the collaborative project with Karen] are pretty strong, and, therefore, worth it....
January 20, 1998
DAY 26 1/26/98 11:26 pm
went to workout in shorts today. became aware of my hairy legs (like Eve, nakedness and the apple!). It didn't bother me that I appear not to shave my legs. It bothers me that that apparently hasn't always been the case. the hair isn't full-length yet, and I think that makes me look lazy I guess. like at some point I did shave my legs regularly (which, of course, is true), but that now I'm too lazy or whatever to do it.
unfortunately, I did not observe any reactions to my unshaven legs. of course, this may mean that its just accepted--or that I wasn't paying attention. erg.
DAY 28 1/28/98 12:09 am/pm
talked to Brian tonight. odd. curious--hungry for pictures. suggested exchange of pictures for my book.
January 30, 1998
DAY 31 1/31/98 10:18 pm
last of the easy to count days. :)
feeling pretty good this evening. worked out today--ie. lifted. also did some ab work. getting fairly hairy, but today I think it's feminine. It combines with swelled muscles, sports bra, and jeans to form a "strong woman" image of me to me. I think my concept of strong body encourages a self-concept of strong person, specifically strong woman. Thus, I feel good and I feel feminine.
I am "home alone" this evening. I thought that would bother me. I numbed myself with some T.V., but then I got down on the floor and worked on my abs. after that I started reading for class, and I let myself think some. I just poured myself some wine and I've eaten a [few] figs. It feels like pampering and I like it. I [feel] really good--content.
February 9, 1998
DAY 42 2/11/98 10:27 pm
walked out of a one-toilet women's washroom today & met with some confused looks. I think I look fairly feminine... ah well.
DAY 45 2/14/98 2:47 pm
well, I broke the rules. I'm not sure yet what [that] will mean for the success of the project.
I came in late both last night and the night before. And I just couldn't remember to write, or if I did remember, I couldn't wake up enough to do it. so much for discipline...
Matt mentioned that some ppl live their lives on a strict regimine and won't stray from it at all. it's the only way they can function. but I'm not like that. I'm very spontaneous--often impulse driven. wonder if I could ever maintain a project like this...? at first, I was only going to do this for 40 days. I liked the religious significance of the number. but I didn't think it had universal meaning. 100 is a number with many significances. anyway, If I had only done the 40 days, I would've been fine. erm...
DAY 47 2/16/98 10:16 pm
I can feel the breeze agitating my leg hairs. it's kind of a neat feeling.
February 19, 1998
DAY 52 2/21/98 11:28 pm
perhaps I've said this before, but I neglected to realize how boring this would become. there is nothing exciting to report. My hair is just some weird length about which I can say very little. It's not new anymore. It's not causing any interruption in my life. It's not causing any pleasure. There really is nothing to say except exactly that--there is nothing. So, then, what can this mean? Should I abandon the project? Should I start something new? Should I hope something interesting comes up soon?
How am I going to present this? what a boring display. I'll have to do some serious thinking/editting (heh). Bleh. what an icky project. Sheesh.
"(HERE AND IN THE EUROPEAN TRADITION GENERALLY, THE CONVENTION OF NOT PAINTING HAIR ON A WOMAN'S BODY HELPS TOWARD THE SAME END. HAIR IS ASSOCIATED WITH SEXUAL POWER, WITH PASSION. THE WOMAN'S SEXUAL PASSION NEEDS TO BE MINIMIZED SO THAT THE SPECTATOR MAY FEEL THAT HE HAS THE MONOPOLY OF SUCH PASSION.)"
--JOHN BERGER,Ways of Seeing
DAY 55 2/24/98 11:16 pm
Once again, very little to say. no novelty. bleh.
to anyone who's actually taking the time to read this, I apologize. you must be horribly bored. of course, that would be your own fault. you choose to be bored. to read this. to read this without making something of it that means something to you. to read without arguing. to read without really agreeing. to avoid other thoughts or acts which might interest you more. to ignore the ancient call to CARPE DIEM in whatever fashion is meaningful to you. we make our own boredom. so to those of you who are actually reading this - congratulations - you've either mastered deep thought or the complete lack thereof. Either way, you've got [perserverence], and that, they say is worthy of admiration.
"AND I SHAVED EVERY PLACE WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, BOY
I SAID I SHAVED EVERY PLACE WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, YES"
--TORI AMOS, "Blood Roses," Boys for Pele
DAY 56 2/25/98 11:39 pm
will this nonsense ever end? nothing new again today. bleh.
DAY 57 2/26/98 11:48 pm
someone told me she liked my haircut today.
whoopee.
DAY 58 2/27/98 12:37 am/pm
once again, nothing really happened...
DAY 59 2/28/98 11:40 pm
gettin' there.
March 1, 1998
DAY 64 3/5/98 10:48 pm
got a letter from Grandpa today. It reads, in part: I got a note from you sometime ago with a picture in it. It was awful. I put it aside but it popped up again the other day and I deposited in file 13. Could not bear to look at it again.
I am so pleased with your accomplishments but sometimes you get pretty far out--no hair I surely hope that you don't start poking extra holes in your body!! Hair will grow back but I don't know if holes can be refilled!
Sarah keep up the good work
wonder if I should send gpa a more recent pic... better wait til it looks a little more regular.
DAY 65 3/6/98 11:59 pm
Karen saw me for the first time in a while. she said the hair is still cute. now she's looking at all the Polaroids and has noted that in all the naked ones, I look like a "bad ass." weird.
March 11, 1998
DAY 72 3/13/98 11:59 pm
The nice gay man in the postoffice downstairs inquired about my hair today. he also said that I have a pretty face, so I can carry off any hair style.
Ben--not our Ben--told me he shaved his head to prove his love to a girl. sheesh. what malarky. he said she has problems accepting love or something. I hardly think he's the solution. And no matter how much he loves his hair--who cares!? meaningless gesture. hair grows back.
DAY 76 3/17/98 ~10:10 pm
I was thinking today that artists have the strange job of selecting those elements of life that others will find in some way interesting. I mean, I have chosen to go through this journal and select "interesting" entries to reproduce on my webpage. It's sort of un-credible that I, the author, choose what is interesting. I could put everything up. I could have some ppl select for me. I could choose what I think is interesting. I could select what I suppose other ppl will find interesting. What is my responsibility to my viewers? to myself? All of this applies to this work specifically and all art generally. To me, THIS is interesting--this chimera. But perhaps it is boring to you. Perhaps you've already considered the problem and come up with the solution - or just given up - every man for himself (I'm suddenly very self-conscious of my writing...). Or perhaps you are not ready to consider the puzzle. Maybe you just don't care. I suppose you never can please everyone. But is it enough, in art, to please only yourself?... If anyone has a thought to share w/ me, please email me; [email protected] or contact me in some other way --> I'm always looking for someone who will challenge my thinking. on that note, I'll take my leave of you for the night.
March 21, 1998
DAY 83 3/24/98 10:02 pm
It's been a rough couple of days. just what does one write in a journal that may be seen by the hoi polloi (sp?) about her personal struggles when the journal is supposed to relate to her hair growth? I can never get over the fact that in some ways, I'm writing this just to be read. but I'm not keeping any other journal, so I'd like to spill here, but I don't know if I want you to read what I want to write. Perhaps I should open another journal in which I explore this issue by barring nothing. The sort of free-write I did in high school English class. now I'm way off the subject. So it's been rough these past few days. My fuse has been very shorter than my hair even. heh. I'm so funny. How is that when some people [write] their sarcasm is apparent but when I write it's all flat and dull? can you see that? I see it. Always after it comes out. I can see the self-deprecation. or the unnecessary bitchiness. this is what i mean. the past couple of day (more than "couple"), I've been totally snapping at people and engaging in bad thinking (you'll have to wait for that other journal [for] an explanation of that). I clench my teeth when I'm concentrating. It's starting to hurt now--my own unique version of writer's cramp. maybe this rambly shit is more interesting than anything I could say about my hair at this point anyway.
well, I've kind of run out of things to say. Bet you're glad to hear that! (ugh!) until another day! --sjl
DAY 85 3/26/98 11:59 pm beautiful weather today. I've not wanted to shave more than today since the project began. I guess I wanted to feel naked-er. who knows. Well, I should know. sheesh.
March 31, 1998
NOW I WANT YOU TO REALIZE THAT THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN IS CHRIST, AND THE HEAD OF THE WOMAN IS MAN, AND THE HEAD OF CHRIST IS GOD.... AND EVERY WOMAN WHO PRAYS OR PROPHESIES WITH HER HEAD UNCOVERED DISHONORS HER HEAD--IT IS JUST AS THOUGH HER HEAD WERE SHAVED. IF A WOMAN DOES NOT COVER HER HEAD, SHE SHOULD HAVE HER HAIR CUT OFF; AND IF IT IS A DISGRACE FOR A WOMAN TO HAVE HER HAIR CUT OR SHAVED OFF, SHE SHOULD COVER HER HEAD. A MAN OUGHT NOT TO COVER HIS HEAD, SINCE HE IS THE IMAGE AND GLORY OF GOD; BUT THE WOMAN IS THE GLORY OF MAN. FOR MAN DID NOT COME FROM WOMAN, BUT WOMAN FROM MAN; NEITHER WAS MAN CREATED FOR WOMAN. BUT WOMAN FOR MAN. FOR THIS REASON, AND BECAUSE OF THE ANGELS, THE WOMAN OUGHT TO HAVE A SIGN OF AUTHORITY ON HER HEAD....JUDGE FOR YOURSELVES: IS IT PROPER FOR A WOMAN TO PRAY TO GOD WITH HER HEAD UNCOVERED? DOES NOT THE VERY NATURE OF THINGS TEACH YOU THAT IF A MAN HAS LONG HAIR, IT IS A DISGRACE TO HIM, BUT THAT IF A WOMAN HAS LONG HAIR, IT IS HER GLORY? FOR LONG HAIR IS GIVEN TO HER AS A COVERING.
--PAUL, THE APOSTLE, The first letter to the church at Corinth
Chapter 11, verses 3,5-10, and 13-15
DAY 92 4/2/98 4:32 pm
Hooey.
Man is the image and glory of God, but woman is merely the glory of man? It's as if God made man and man made woman. "So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them."
--Genesis 1:27, New International Version
And long hair is a disgace to man?! Many images of Christ himself represent him with long hair. And long hair was given to woman as a covering? men were also "given" hair that grows to the same length as any woman's.
"SOMETIMES YOU'RE SO IMPULSIVE,
YOU SHAVED OFF ALL YOUR HAIR
YOU LOOK LIKE BORIS KARLOFF AND DON'T EVEN CARE"
--TOM PETTY AND JEFF LYNNE, "Zombie Zoo"
April 10, 1998
DAY 100 4/10/98 1:05 am/pm
"Has she no shame?"
That's what Karen's dad said when he saw a few of the Polaroids from the project. What a perfect ending to the project.
I don't know just what Mr. Patterson meant. Since he is a religious man, I have reason to suspect that he may have been making reference to the Bible passage I quoted a bit ago. In any case, the answer to his question is the point of all this. Thank you, Don.
All text and images � 1998 Sarah J Liles.
Many, many thanks to all who contributed their thoughts and other efforts to this project, especially Kapie, Paco, Fen, and David Austin. Thank you.
