My letter to you may confuse you. At 12, you are still naive and void to hatred and cruelty. My words may frighten you, but Im only trying to help.
Soon you will go off to Junior High. Your childhood friends will abandon you. They are too cool for you. It's ok, you dont need them. You will start to hang with Ashley and Amanda. Dont give in to Ashley's temptations but do trust her. She's a good person and only cares about you, she's just rebelling. You will have your moment too. Now Amanda...dont trust her. She will take from you and use you until there's nothing more to drain from you. You will hurt because of this.
7th grade will bring about many internal changes, as well as external. Your clothes will define you, your attitude will rule you, your life will be very different. Be expecting this change. A new friend will come along. Be careful, she bites. During the next 4 years, she is the one you confide in. Soon she will break your heart. Lies surface and you will learn to not trust anyone. I mean, how can you trust anyone? Everyone you know will hurt you and break your trust. The only one who is there is Erika.
Erika...I have no words to describe her. She is completely selfless. She will help you through because she's an angel. Thank God for sending her along to you, seriously. Trust in her and she will be with you forever. You will love her beyond words. Dont miss your chance.
In the beginning of 10 grade you will watch your grandfather disappear before your eyes. Cancer will steal his beautiful life. Let go, dont make the mistake to hold it in. Cry, let your emotions escape or you will explode into a monster. Do not choose that path. To help you, you will wear his necklace with pride. His faith will become yours. Dont fear it.
While this is happening, you will be juggling relationships with hurtful people. A guy you trust will rip out your heart. Dont trust him Danielle. Seriously, the damage he causes in you will be much greater than the short, painful relationship you'll have. It's not worth it. Please...dont trust him.
Your mom will cause chaos inside of you. I have no advice for you in this category. I dont know what you should do. If you get a sudden impulse, dont ignore it. If you choose to act it out, just possibly your life may get better. I dont know exactly what you should do. Just DONT believe her when she says those things to you. You aren't what she says. Stay strong.
Someone else will help you get through her slaughter. He is trustworthy. You will fall in love with him. He will be your first love. Dont let him think bad things about you, because if that happens, he will be gone. He will keep you at a distance, not to hurt you, but to protect himself. Due to his distance and your fear of losing him, you will cry every single time you see or talk to him. You will continue loving him though. Always and forever, he's an important part of you.
I realize that you are probably confused, but Im telling you this to help prepare you for the extremely painful years ahead of you. Keep your dad and your true "friends" close to you. They could disappear in the blink of an eye. Just remember that people will come and people will go, the ones who make a difference stick. Love those people but be very careful with the people you trust. Words can be deceiving.
Good luck, you'll need it.
Your 16-year-old self
P.S. The loneliness wont always be there, hopefully.
Back