One morning in early May 1992 I awoke and decided I was tired of living the lie. My parents were both deceased, I had no obligations to my children. I wrote the doctor who had approved me for sex Reassignment surgery in January 1976 and informed him I was ready. I received my hormones and gave myself my first injection on May 20, 1992. I never looked back.

My intention was to quietly continue on hormone replacement therapy and begin assembling a wardrobe and begin my Real Life Test (living in the new gender for a minimum of one year before becoming eligible for surgery) in January or February 1993.

It was only about one week after my second injection of hormones that I began to get breast tenderness. I can only describe it as "It hurt so good!" Also, within in the first three to four weeks my co-workers started to mention that I seemed different. I was actually nice. Many asked what happened and I replied, "I finally reached a decision on something that had been bothering me for a long time." I was for the most part a very unhappy and miserable person to be around when I was trying to suppress my desire to be a female. The amazing thing was that I liked myself again. It had been a long time since I had felt this way about me. I could see swelling in my breasts and that too made me happy.

I also began to have some mood swings. I will always remember the first episode. I was sitting at my desk and for absolutely no reason I was crying. At first it really startled me. I was not ready to tell management of my plans. I said, I need to watch out for this.

It was also about this time that I received a phone call from Anne. I was shocked. She wanted to come over and see my house. I had invited her over months earlier. I said fine and went and put a very loose t-shirt and hoped it would be big enough to hide my development. She came and brought her daughter and we talked for about 3 hours. They were very uneasy hours for me. When she left she said, "Stay in touch and don't be a stranger." I replied, "I won't." She left and I breathed easy and thought, too bad she wouldn't like girls.

I was getting happier each day and felt very good and was an absolute high with my life. I loved being alive and going to work and coming home and just living. I also made an appointment with our Employer's Counseling Service. I went and talked to them and told them what I had planned and I wanted to transition on the job when I was ready. They said they would help me when the time was right.

Anne called again and asked if I wanted to go dinner and I told her that I had just started eating some soup for dinner because my stomach was feeling uneasy. She said we could go out in the future. She called about a week later and unloaded on me that she had finally got over her ex-husband and wanted to make a commitment. I told her I was seeing someone else at the time and she talked a little more and I knew that I was just going to have to level with her. Later that night I wrote her a 12 page letter and told her that I was going to have sex-reassignment surgery and that my new friend understood and supported me, That has been that she has not called me since and I continued to progress towards my goal of being a woman.

It was getting into late August and I had developed rather rapidly. I was right at a C-cup. People began to point fingers and saying that there was something different about me. I replied that I was gaining weight, they said it was something else. I knew it was time to tell management. I went to the middle manager in my branch. I asked if I could have a talk with her over something that was very important. She said, "1:00 my office." I asked for the conference room because this was private. Her office was just a cubical. She looked sort of puzzled and said, "No problem."

I met her at the appointed time and I ask her if she had ever heard of Christine Jorgensen, She said, "no." What about Renee Richards, again the same response. What about Jan Morris, again the same response. I said, what about Tula? She replied that she thought she had heard of her. I said, "She was a he and I want to become a she." She said what? I said I want to be a she. Again, right over her head. In total frustration I grabbed my shirt, pulled it up and said, "See! I'm not joking." She never batted an eye and said, "Buy a bra." She got the idea and we discussed my getting ready to transition and she would back me 100%.

I next met with a personnel specialist and we discussed how we would go about this transition. We agreed on a branch meeting with me absent as not to keep anyone from speaking their piece. She would be there and the individual from our counseling service would be there and it would be handled in a professional manner. The meeting took place on September 24, 1992. I had planned November 16, 1992 as my debut as Denise Anne.

I called my attorney on the morning of November as he asked me to and was told, "Congratulations, you are Denise Anne." Bozo, as I like to refer to my former self no longer legally listed. I had changed his checking account to add Denise Anne on it when I ordered new checks. I was on my way. Wednesday, November 11, 1992, was Veterans Day and a holiday. I had a busy day scheduled. I had 3 hours of electrolysis done in the morning. She cleared all but about 1/4 of an inch in the three hour appointment. I was blessed, no chest hair and very little on my face. I thought, if I get everything done, why wait until Monday. I made a nail appointment for late Thursday afternoon and had a full set of nails put on with a very pale polish. I had my clothes ready, my wigs were ready and I felt ready.

The new day dawned. I got up at 5:00 and prepared myself for the day. I put on my makeup and was unsatisfactory and I redid the makeup. here was nothing wrong with the first time, just nerves. I put on a bra and panties and took down the dress that I had chosen for day one, a royal blue A-line dress with white beads. I got my hair ready and put on my wig. I had 3 identical wigs, one to wear, one in being cleaned and one for any emergency that might arrive. I looked in the mirror and said, "Welcome to life Denise Anne." I was ready to meet the world and have the world to meet me. I left the house at 6:00 sharp as was my habit. I stopped at Burger King and got something to drink as was my habit. Brenda, the lady on the window was the first to see me. It was then off to work.

I pulled into my reserved parking space at 6:25 and thought that maybe I should do this tomorrow, then realized that putting it off would do nothing good. I got out of my van, adjusted my dress and went through the back door of the Federal Building. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I went into the snack bar and got my morning toast. I was sitting at the table reading the paper when Dan walked up to me and said, "I guess Denise is appropriate now." That was it. My day had started and I felt great.

I had nothing but positive responses that day. All day I waited for the big explosion, there was none There were some curious people and most just said, "Unbelievable" or "This is not what I expected." What a day! This day rates as one of the high points of my life. Equal to the birth of my daughters and the day I first qualified in submarines.

My transition started very smoothly except the restroom issue. I had opted to use the handicapped restroom in the basement. I worked on the 6th Floor, but this still seemed the best solution. This restroom was also open to the general public. There were twelve female employees of the Army Corps of Engineers that worked in the basement and to say the fertilizer hit the ventilator is an understatement. I was asked to use the private restroom in the nurses office on the eighth floor. This was not satisfactory as the restroom was not wheelchair accessible other than the fact the door was just wide enough for me to get inside. I did not like it, but I was willing to compromise in order to have a smooth transition.

IRS agreed to convert an empty private restroom in the basement to a private locked unisex restroom for me. It would require a key to enter and would be secure. Sounds wonderful, but it did not happen.

The first nine months were fairly uneventful. I was loving life and thinking about how to raise the money for SRS. I had flown out to Los Angeles for Memorial Day 1992 to visit with Melanie Anne Phillips, Susan, also a post-op and several pre-op ladies from Prodigy. It was a good week-end. The next week-end I flew to Dallas to spend my birthday with Elaine Poe, a pre-op. In July I flew to Milwaukee, rented a car and drove to Neenah to have my pre-surgical consult with Dr. Schrang. I received his approval and tentatively scheduled SRS for December 14, 1993. I got back into the work groove and then in late August 1993 I ended up in the hospital with a bowel obstruction caused by adhesions. I had some very serious emergency surgery and was out of work for six weeks. At the advice of my doctors I called Dr. Schrang and delayed my SRS until June 3, 1994. This was going to be my birthday gift to me.

While I was out recuperating an employee that had been assigned out of the Federal Building returned and we had a lady, for the lack of a better word, given a hardship transfer to our unit from Los Angeles. The returning employee was totally rude and obnoxious with verbal sexually explicit language and the female constantly referred to me as Tinker bell. I filed complaint after complaint to my manager and to the mid-level manager that I originally went to and was told by both that I was just being over sensitive. Enough was enough, I was not going to take abuse and the restroom had not even been started and I had not recovered from the emergency surgery. I thought about it and resigned effective November 13, 1993. This was one year and one day since I started my Real Life Test.

I settled in at home and got some rest. and thought about going back to college. I contacted the VA about Vocational Rehab. I had hoped to start in the spring term so I contacted Dr. Schrang and changed my SRS date to February 17, 1994. Things were looking up. I went through Christmas and New Years and on January 16, 1994 I mailed Dr. Schrang the remainder of the $9,130.00 for total payment of my SRS. I also purchased my plane ticket to Milwaukee and made reservations for a rental car with hand controls and made motel reservations for the few days I would be there before SRS.

I flew out of Jacksonville at 9:00 am on February 12, 1994. There was a major snow storm across the whole upper part of the country. It started with a long delay in Norfolk. We were still sitting on the ground when the plane was supposed to be landing in Cleveland. I was to meet a pre-op at the airport because I had a three hour lay over. I eventually got to Cleveland and had time to say hi. Go to the restroom and get on a plane they were holding for me to Milwaukee. We never got to taxi out. They had shut down Milwaukee. We sat there on the plane for 45 minutes and then took off. We slowed down half way there so they would have the runways open when we arrived. I eventually got to Milwaukee, got my luggage and rental car and went to my motel. There was 14 inches of fresh snow on the ground. I went next door to a great restaurant and had a great meal.

The next morning I went to Grand Avenue Mall and to South Ridge Mall to do some shopping. I wanted to get misty some chew toys as a gift. My niece was staying at my house to take care of her while I was gone. I had dinner and got a good night's sleep. I had an appointment with Dr. Randi Ettner the next afternoon for my final approval. I drove to her office in Illinois and spent one hour with her and got my final approval for SRS. I had a great supper and packed up to leave for Neenah the next morning. I arrived in Neenah about 12:00 and stopped at Tom's for a sandwich on my way to Dr. Schrang's Office. I arrived and saw him to get my admission papers. When I came out another friend Marsha from Chicago was waiting for me. She went to Thada Clark with me and helped me with my suitcase. I left the rest of the luggage in the car trunk. Renting the car and leaving it in the parking lot was less expensive than a round trip airline ticket from Milwaukee and Appleton. I checked in got the mandatory HIV test and reported to my room.

Because I have a colostomy I did not have to eat light the night before surgery. I got a good night's sleep and woke up the next morning and went down for surgery about 7:00 Thursday morning. I talked to the anesthesiologist and he agreed to use an epidural. I was the first SRS patient that Dr. Schrang did under an epidural. I highly recommend it.

I got back to my room and was alert and called my friends from all over the place. Marsha visited and I was very happy and content as I dozed off. I woke up the next morning and I can only express my feelings as total and complete contentment. I was happy as can be. Around noon I looked up and there stood Elaine from Dallas. She flew up to see me. She stayed about three hours and had to get ready to fly back to Dallas.

Marsha was there almost the entire week and Claudia from Indiana came over with her friend Susan. I also received a beautiful flower arrangement from Melanie. The day I got out of the hospital there was a blizzard and I drove back to Milwaukee in a terrible snow storm. Milwaukee got 10 additional inches of snow. It took four hours to drive the 90 miles back to my motel. I ordered dinner in and the hotel staff was wonderful. They gave me a call every four hours during the night so I could dilate like I was suppose to. It was wonderful but messy.

I have a house mate helping me now and I am enrolled in college as a full time student. Life has been wonderful and I am enjoying just being me.

I am accepted as a female in all aspects of my life. Pennsylvania changed my birth certificate to reflect female and I have made very good friends since my SRS.

I graduated from with an Associate in Science in Computer Information System Analyst (Integrated Systems Specialist) on December 16, 1998.  I am currently working on my Webmaster/Web Design degree and hope to graduate in December 2001.

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