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Harris
 Particularly in the early days of the DanJohnson Live Journal, Harris was arguably the subject of most entries. The journal was actually briefly titled "Stories about Harris" for a period in early 2003. The great irony there is that few people endeavor more to maintain a limited web-presence than young Mr. Harris. The actual reason for Harris's discomfort with his life being documented on the World Wide Web is a matter of some debate. One theory is that, being a graphic designer by trade, he simply resents the existence of computers outside of his workplace. A more plausible theory is that, given his trademark ethical indiscretions and ongoing criminal enterprises, he's concerned about the tales of his exploits coming to the attention of one or more agents of the government. Probably the most likely, of all, however, is that he's concerned about the tales of his exploits coming to the attention of one or more of the girls he's trying to impress at any given time.
Running Themes
Harris and Spaz- Harris and Spaz's relationship began some time in the early summer of 2000, and was declared dead for the last time around the fall of 2003. The interrim period, however, was both a delight and a terror to behold. Their respective poor taste in significant others came to full light after the last dissolution, but even while they were dating their decision to do so was the subject of frequent debate and derision. The total number of smaller breakups prior to the one that worked varies by cited source between 3 and 7.
Scotland- Harris is reputed to have tracked his geneology at some point to Scotland and more specifically to Clan Campbell. This makes his celtic knot tattoo less obnoxious and his penchant for 12-year-old scotch whiskey more understandable, but apparently did little for his ability to foster facial hair.
Romance- Harris is the archetype of what is known in the North Suburbs as "inscrutable short nerd charm." By most accounts, he has a mysterious but affable ability to make a good first impression on young women in his immediate line of sight. This ability is most often directed toward blondes, single mothers and women in the service industry (waitresses and strippers). Harris's use of this dubious super-power is referred to coloquially as "laying his Campbell down," and "talking about art/jazz." (References to "cutting one loose from the herd" refer not so much to him picking the sickest and weakest as to the fact that Harris's charms don't seem to function effectively in a group setting and he usually makes some effort to sequester the focus of his attentions.)
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The Best of Harris
12/01/05 - Harris breaks the display case
5/15/05 - Harris saves the party
10/24/04 - Harris befouls a mixing bowl
10/12/04 - Harris's "game"
10/03/04 - Harris's gross coat.
8/22/04 - Harris meets some dude named Matt.
5/3/04 - Harris helps comandeer a canoe.
2/14/03 - Harris get free baked goods.
2/14/03 - Harris get free chicken.
9/29/02 - Harris steals a chair.
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