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Alison
 Alison, while occasionally considered simply an attach� of Fun Sarah, actually came to our attention some time before Sarah did. The earliest mentions of her date to the heady days of Punk Karaoke where she was notable for a really solic rendition of the Dead Kennedys "California Uber Alles" and similarly for for her awkward hipster-girl stage presence. She came more permanently to our attention the day that whiskey and Cate The Waitress convinced her to give B-mo her phone number. He may have called once, and she may have called back, but it's probably just as well that the rest of this story doesn't go anywhere.
During Sarah's time in Africa, Alison was placed in charge of "keeping in touch with the group," which she managed only sporradically, but still to an admirable degree given her usual tolerance for social interaction.
Running Themes
Staying home doing coke- The actual validity of the claim is not our concern, but Sarah's excuse for Alison not showing up anywhere she was invited was that she was "staying home, doing coke on the couch." This palliative usually comes in the form of an impersonation of Alison giving said excuse over the phone some time earlier (an impersonation, by the way, which sounds less like Alison than it does like the voice you could give to a cartoon manatee.) In reality, it's believed that Alison just really likes the couch.
Hipster- Alison is a hipster. She's dressed better than you, she has solid taste in music, and she doesn't have sweat glands. If she wears the same clothes for ten days straight, they smell like old books.
Alison Ruins Everything- It's not a common reference anymore, but that's most likely more because she's not around that often. The full story is listed under "Alison Ruins Everything" in The Best of Alison, but the crux of the joke is that Alison, to our knowledge, is not the "ruining things" type, but likewise, is not the "disagreeing with your accusations" type.
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The Best of Alison
Alison Ruins Everything
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