-The Human Torch could only have butt sex with Iceman.
-Look at that girl, she has like negative ass!
-Mr. Pipper
-We gotta be cold and shit all the time, just because Mother Nature is on her rag.
-Wow, "Sports Illustrated for Women", that magazine is probably pretty thin.*
-I'd headbutt that tumor right out of his brain.
-What, were you made on the retard farm?
-What the hell's a Stein Mart, just a big store full of beer mugs?
-You're made from like super gimp DNA.
-I'll show the man
-Yeah...you could staple shag carpet on the roof, I mean on the inside.
-Hold still...this will be fun.
-It's all about the pooty tang?
-I'm not going to feel bad for her unless she dies.
-I'll have to remember not to make fun of people in wheelchairs for a while
-Trunk-duck-dunk--doh! Duct!
-That's Ben Hurr style.
-That room smells like brain damage.
-Honkey Kong!
-I hate it when the rain shnarples my ball.
-If you combine green and brown you just get poop.
-Nobody thinks that flannel pajamas are seductive...except for maybe lumber jacks
-Want to see my $100 stick
-Hey! This is no time for sedatives!
-I can't believe Opey Taylor called me whipped.
-You can't read this so it doesn't matter what I write here.
-If I wore sweatbands I wouldn't need napkins anymore.
-Oh, you might as well cut your own head off Albino Kong!
-"Great American Country Music!?" Isn't that an oxymoron?
-Wow. That was cool, and when I say cool I mean totally not cool at all.
-Is that 5% really worth $10?
-Oh you'd better hit somebody with a steel chair, because God knows the show wouldn't be complete without it.
-Stop hitting me with that chain. This isn't a 1950's gang war.
-That knob was just too slippery to hold on to.
-I think that Val Kilmer looked better when--wait, what am I saying!
-That's weird that a Swedish person knows anything about war.*
-I'm gonna lose so much weight that they'll make an after school special about me.
-You never know when you're getting to close to the Mason Dixon line until it's too late and you're getting raped by a family member.
-Wow, way to pour, Captian Suck.
-They were all wiggers, but what else could you expect from white guys in Aurora.
-I would give a nut...and a thumb to be able to read that girl's mind.
-I wanna stick my dick in your ear, so I can obscure your brain and kill you.
-Commiting suicide would just be a waste of my time.*
-Something about you just makes me want to yell, "no."
-I'd imagine heaven is just a bunch of angels in Jeeps, running over the heathens.
-You'd just say something funny and God would be like, "Um...I don't get it".
-Ahhh, this CD is good and it will make me want to do drugs.
-I'm pretty excited about all these new CD's--and this foam will keep my drinks cold.
-You're not having sex with their lack of personality.
-Boy I'm glad I'm not you, but if I were I would just play with my chest all day.
-Once Timbo came in the room, it started to smell like crotch in here.
-This looks like the kind of neighborhood where you wouldn't want to hang your arm out of the window, because someone might come up and steal it.
-Ruby Red Condoms be damned!
-You laugh like an impregnated chipmunk.
-Don't mess up our game cat, or I'll throw you in a tank of angry sharks...and dogs.
-Yeah, what are you gonna do, trick me with tricky games of chance.
-Hey! Sock in the pants, or you can kiss my sexy ass good-bye.
-Ha Ha! You think you matter!
-Ughh! Girls don't make sense.
-Any white guy over forty doesn't have anything intellegent to say.
-Well, we're gonna be youthin' it up.
-I can think of things I hate more than country music...like Hitler.
-Hey, can you do me a favor? Grab my nuts.
-If Captian America was a proper captain of America, he would always carry a 40 oz.
-I just love all animals...Jesus style!
-He must be the cute kind, because he does pretty well with the ladies. We don't call him
man-whore for nothing
-The biggest sign that God ever sent Dani that she shouldn't be framing anymore was, "Bachelors in English."
-A nerd would just use a rook as a butt plug.
-I feel that if I've irritated someone, then I've won.
-I think Oompah is German for, "get your groove on."
-If you were P.K. the first thing on your Top Ten list would be 40 oz.'s
-Oh, we can be such pansies. Blah, blah, blah, we don't want to upset the hippies.
-P.K. must be 50% Native-American, and he just doesn't know it.
-Man, its just that he's half black, so he's gotta walk with attitude that's all.
-I wish I had a shirt that could talk. I'd teach it to say, "I am the Gamma and the Omega."
-Hey dude, you know what we should do? Bleach your cat and then dye it blue.
-You know what's sweet? Sheep! You can like put your hand in their back and when you pick it up there will be a sweet hand print in their wool. I was at a petting zoo and I was doing that, and the farmer was like, "Yeah, could you not do that." There were like six sheep with my hand print in them, and the dude was running around trying to brush them out.
-Midgets With Helium...that would be a cool name for a band.
-Yeah he's just like him, only slighty less dead.
-Yeah I love it when it does that, just like I love being kicked in the nuts.
-Not that cool! No! No! No!
-Christmas, Christmas, Christmas! I hate it, hate it, hate it! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Not that cool!
-I like to wear them with the backwards hat, because it makes people think. The backwards hat make them think, "he's a risk-taker," but the glasses make them think, "but only smart risks."
-Well, I shot myself in the finger with the nailgun, so I've stopped the bleeding, and now I'm going to take a lot of extra-strength...these things.
-Dude, use this bone as a slide.
-Dude, I'm gonna take one of those foties and piss in it over your sink.
-Dude, you should cut eyeholes in this and talk like Mushmouth.
-Jipetto style!
-He doesn't fuck around with those non-snacks. He deals with snacks only.
-I was hoping he had an entire American Flag sweatsuit. I was disappointed to see that he was wearing pants
-We've only blunted this cat once
-Dude, I'm not a master of Boflex lore. I could not tell you.
-My dog is really fat, ain't no big suprise
-Knowledge is not power
-You should try playing with your non...move...icator
-I didn't want to take my glasses off, because I was afraid that everyone would be able to read my mind
-Captian Morgan is actually Jesus in disguise. He's just tricking people into going to hell.
-The wheel part is still all openy.
-Look at that! Rob, I am an attractive black man.
-That would be so much work for so little petty joy. |
