For Kristin Tara and her Cabana Boy...

 

*WARNING!!! There is sex, drugs and violence in this story! DO NOT READ FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE OLDER THAN 18 YEARS OF AGE!*
I have no way of knowing if you are older than 18, so please adhere to this warning.

 

Cabana Boy

 

Part I

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." he muttered to himself then cursed at the stoplight for turning green too quickly. "I've been in this city, strike that - this country - working my ass off; 18-hour days, waking up in a strange bed and scarfing down room service for the last 3 months. All this, just so that I can get my latest venture off the ground and get back to my beloved London... So what, you may ask, am I doing at 9:30 pm circling the same block for the last 2 hours? Especially when I could be stuffing my face with stale fish and pale beer, staring at salmon-colored pillow shams and coral-stripped wallpaper? Long story short, I'm here because last week... last week, I think I might've met my soulmate. Ha-ha. One would usually believe that to be good news; the best of news, right? Yes, it should be fabulous news if, perhaps, I had gotten her name... and her phone number. I suppose 'met' was a bit overstated but I did get to talk to her..."

****

"Let's take a break, Lizzy," the older woman said as she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "The words of this deposition are beginning to run together."

"Sure," the Legal Assistant agreed and pushed herself away from the conference room table. "I'm going to run out for some fresh air; do you want something while I'm out?"

"No thank you. Besides you can get all the fresh air you need on the terrace."

"True, but I could use a jolt of something more than Pepsi."

"I worry about you on the streets this late at night."

"I'm just going to run up the street; I'll be careful."

"Okay," the woman conceded as she stood, stretched, and then planted herself on the leather sofa in the corner. "I'll just take a power nap while you're gone. Half-hour?"

"Sure."

****

"... and, if we proceed as planned, the first quarter projections have us turning the corner towards profitability. We've got to get this thing up and running before summer's end or the window will close."

"I know," came the tired reply. "I'm up to it."

"You don't look it, Will." Bingley tossed the folder onto the table. "You need to get out of this hotel room and have a little fun."

"Charles..."

Waggled eyebrows were the only response to Darcy's weary warning. "Are we done here?"

"Yes."

"Good!" he exclaimed as he examined his watch. "Then I have time to call Jane and see if she's up to having a late dinner."

"How is it that you manage to put in the same long hours as I've done and yet have the energy to party, chat up some young woman, get her phone number and see her every night for the past 2 weeks?"

"I'm attracted to the sun." He shrugged then stood up. "You, on the other hand, even sulk in the dark."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It would take too long to explain," he sighed. His best friend and business partner never looked at a woman except to find fault. "Come out with me? We could see if Jane's sister is available..."

"No thank you. I don't need to be fixed up." He didn't want any short-term dalliance.

"Suit yourself."

****

"Hey Lizzy, I got your message. Are you are on your way home?"

"No Jane, we're on a break," she sighed into her cellphone. "And I just popped out for an iced coffee, a scone, and to stretch my legs." The humidity had cooled off the still shining sun which was blocked by the umbrella gracing her table outside the establishment.

"How much longer are you going to be?"

"Another hour or 2, I suppose."

"An hour or 2? This is what, the 2nd straight month? You're fretting your life away..."

"You sound like Mom."

"Well, it's the truth. You're too young to be locked behind closed doors when everyone else is out having a good time. What happened to the Lizzy that went to Happy Hour with bells on and partied 'till the break of dawn?"

"She has responsibilities and ambitions." Before Jane could expound more on the good old days, she changed the subject. "Are you going out with Charles tonight?"

"I don't know, he hasn't called."

"No doubt that he will." Her sister had met a nice young man at a club and they had been joined at the hip ever since. "Leave a light on for me, okay?"

"I might just stay home tonight."

"Yeah, right."

"Seriously. All this wining and dining... Oooh, there's the other line."

"Tell Charles I said 'hi'."

"Lizzy..."

"Bye, Sis." She clicked off the phone, shook her head, and rolled her eyes. Just as soon as she began to pack up the remnants of her snack, she groaned "Shit!"

A sudden thunderstorm and her large umbrella stashed in a corner of her office amidst several unpacked boxes.

****

Darcy stood there at the threshold of the hotel balcony; his mind replaying Bingley's phone conversation to his current 'sweetie' as he freshened up in the bathroom. "I'm not interested," he pouted aloud. It broke up his silent reverie. "I'm not hungry either..." The french doors had remained open; the cool breeze and the pouring rain soothed and reminded him of England. "I just... miss home." He grabbed the keys from the high table near the door.

****

"Well, I could either stand here and be gawked at..." She was wearing a short red sundress; now drenched and apparently transparent. "... or I could make a run for it." Under the green valance, Elizabeth shivered in her diaphanous drip and unbeknownst to her, her nipples hardened.

****

"You're soaked!" Jane exclaimed and pulled Bingley inside the rowhouse.

"I'm used to it." He shrugged off his jacket. "This is almost a daily occurrence in London."

"Is it?" she asked. "I'll just hang this up near the vents."

"Thank you." He noticed her distraction. "Is something troubling you?"

****

High-heeled sandals and slippery pavement made for a treacherous retreat. Two city blocks and a red light at every corner didn't help either but the rain had slackened a little. Still, she desperately needed to be inside, in a hurry and could barely tolerate the wait.

A white Jaguar slowed as it passed through the light and stopped right in front of her. The window descended. "Do you need a ride?"

"No thank you," she answered; a bit startled at the mellifluous accent and not daring to look down at the face that had leaned over in the seat.

"You're drenched," he insisted the obvious.

Almost certain that she was about to be propositioned, she steadfastly repeated. "No thank you."

"You could catch your death of cold out here. I'll take you wherever you want to go."

She finally looked down into deep brown bottomless eyes lined with concern on such a handsome face and took a few seconds to gaze admiringly before responding "I'm in the building right across the street and you're going to make me miss the light." She smiled when he smiled. "Thank you, anyway."

"Of course," he replied. "I mean, you're welcome."

"Have a lovely evening!" She waved then sprinted around the car, across the street and disappeared between smoked glass and cement.

****

"... too focused, really. She jumped from college right into this job and has been working nonstop ever since," Jane opined.

"Will is just like that," Bingley said and shook his head. "As long as there's work to be done, he feels he's the only one to do it. That makes him very successful but he's also very lonely."

"Is that why you were asking if Lizzy could join us? Are you trying to fix her up with your friend?"

"I suppose, subconsciously, I was but on the surface I just wanted to see him relaxed and having a bit of fun."

"But two Type-A personalities wouldn't get along for any length of time."

"As opposed to us Type-B personalities getting along rather well?"

She laughed shyly and poured him more wine.

"So you don't think we should introduce them?"

****

"What I wouldn't give to be on a quiet beach right now..." she grumbled as the hand dryer in the bathroom rumbled to life again. "With nothing but time on my hands and a Cabana Boy for my pleasure." She moved the hem of dress back and forth under the blower. "With that voice and that face and those eyes..."

"Lizzy!" a demanding voice called out then the door flew open. "Lizzy!"

"I-I'll be... only a moment more, Mrs. Long."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're soaking wet; I'll call my limo."

"But..." Before she could get another word out, the older woman had exited the bathroom with alacrity; the door closing slowly behind her.

****

Darcy paced furiously across the length and width of the hotel suite, wondering why he did what he did and whatever prompted him to do it in the first place. "You know why," he chided himself. "It was that damn flimsy dress plastered to that luscious body and those legs that could surely tempt God himself." He slammed a fist into an open palm. "Eyes that shown brighter than any stars and a face to complete the picture... Lord, you sound like a love-starved puppy!" Despite his abhorrence of quick fixes, he could only nod and lament "I need to get laid."

****

"So, now you know my story. Pathetic, right? How can she be my soulmate, if I only talked to her for less than a minute? I don't know... but everything in me responded to her on another level. Made me go against the grain and speak to a perfect stranger - a woman no less. One might say that all I wanted was her body and while that may be true... I even went into her building to see if I could find her. But since I didn't know her name and the security guards were about to pounce on me for loitering, I had to make haste. Pitiful. I know, I know, and so here I am... wandering the streets of DC for the 8th night in a row, searching for my Miss Right."

****

A knock came to her door. "Come in."

"Hey." The door opened wide and Jane laughed "It's still a mess in here."

"Yeah, well..." Elizabeth muttered and shrugged. "You're early, perhaps you could be useful."

"Right. I look too good to do your unpacking."

"Yes, you do. You always do."

"And so do you."

"Thanks. Give me a few more minutes?"

"Okay." She elegantly plopped down into a seat across the desk and watched as her sister typed up the last of her notes.

"Where are we going?"

"Hotel Netherfield for a drink and then onto the Derby."

"The Derby?" she asked with a wrinkled up nose.

"Yes. You remember? Piano bar in the front, Top 40 in the back."

A bit out of our league but who's to say where the night will lead me? "Right."

"I know this is your first night off in weeks, so if you want to beg off after an hour, I'll understand."

"I'll be fine."

****

His cellphone rang. "Yes, Charles?"

"Where are you?" Bingley inquired.

"Just... driving around. Why?"

"Jane's meeting her sister downtown and I thought we'd join them for a chat and perhaps some dancing."

"Charles..."

"Look Will, I'm not trying to set you up, I want you to meet Jane; she's important to me."

"Oh, really? After 3 weeks?"

He bristled at the sarcasm but pressed on. "It's just a meeting and a drink. You can make your own excuses after half-an-hour."

"Where?"

"In the bar of our hotel."

He let out a heavy breath. My stalking exploits haven't panned out and, well hell, she could be married. I suppose I could be charming for a few hours, see where the night leads me. "Alright. I should be there in 15 minutes."

 

****

 

Part II

"I can't believe I'm doing this again..." he grumbled to himself as he made a right at the light of the same corner he had passed just a few minutes ago. "Here I am again, circling her block like some love-sick puppy. Deranged, yes, but still love-sick." He checked the rearview mirror to make certain that he hadn't missed her on his way past her building and breathed a sigh of relief when the light finally changed. "I didn't ask her out when I had the chance - we barely spoke more than a few words to each other - but at least I know her name now although I didn't get her number but it's not like I don't know where she works. Do I seem too eager to you? Too Jack-the-Ripper? No. No. I'll just... casually say that I was on my way to dinner and ask her if she would join me. Yes, that's what I'll do..."

****

"... It's quite alright, Jane. Really," Bingley chuckled into his cellphone. "I'll see you in a bit." He clicked off.

"So, I'm not late then?" Darcy asked as he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down.

"Not at all. They should be here in a few minutes."

"A few minutes? Does she work around here?"

"Just a few blocks away. They could walk but since it might rain they'll drive."

"I could've picked them up."

"I didn't think you knew your way around this city."

"You'd be surprised," he muttered and stood. "Refill?"

"Not as yet but sit down, we've a waiter and a running tab."

****

"This isn't a set up, is it?"

"No," Jane smirked. "Will's not interested and yes, I know, neither are you."

"Good," Elizabeth sighed.

"Relax. Charles wanted me to meet his best friend and I wanted my sister to get to know my beau better."

"So, you really won't mind if I take off?"

"I said I wouldn't. Oh, here we are."

"Valet?"

"Charles said he would take care of it."

She shrugged. "Fine."

****

"... and I'm thinking that I might stay on over here for a while."

"What about... what was her name?" Darcy inquired. "That Sloaney girl?"

"Oh, Rebecca." Bingley shrugged. "Passing fancy."

"And this isn't?" He already knew the pat answer but had a sick sense of wanting to say 'I told you so' to his friend with dates and direct quotes when it ended.

"Not in the least."

"Right. So, what of her sister? 2 Angels from the same family?"

"She's a pistol - a real straight shooter as these Americans would say. Pretty too. And if I had met her first... Ah... Jane!" he smiled and stood. "Where's Lizzy?" He kissed her cheek.

"At the coat check." She kissed his cheek then turned. "Hi."

"Jane, this is Will. Will; Jane."

"Hello."

Darcy had stood when she approached the table. Lovely. "Pleased to make your acquaintance." He extended his hand and she shook it.

"Same here."

"Would you like a drink?"

"Yes thank you." A waiter appeared at her side as they all sat down. She ordered her favorite and smiled her pleasure.

The silence was a bit awkward. Darcy sipped his drink and Jane pretended she was unaffected by his scrutiny.

Bingley always willing to fill any void began with "So... the coat check?"

"She insisted on bringing an umbrella." Jane shrugged. "Lizzy!" She waved her sister over.

"Hi," she smiled as she approached then her face froze and a split second later she had to jump to her left.

****

"... In addition, the Nikkei and the Hang Seng have already set their indexes," Bingley paused in his rhetoric. "Hello! Earth to Will..."

"Sorry Charles," Darcy snapped out of his ruminations. "You were saying?"

"Apparently I'm not saying anything important," he pouted. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Your eyes have dark circles, you have at least a day old beard, I haven't been able to get in contact with you since you left the bar on Friday."

****

"Elizabeth Bennet speaking."

"Lizzy!" Jane exclaimed. "He loves me!"

"Really?" she tried to sound cheerful through her suppressed yawn but was too tired to muster much excitement. "I'm so happy for you."

"Do you have time to talk now? I want to tell you about my weekend."

"Sure."

"Well, first off, I'm sorry I left you all alone..."

****

"Oh my goodness!" Jane exclaimed over the loud coughing. "Are you alright?"

OhmyGod, it's her! "Yes," Darcy continued to gag on his drink.

"Yes," Elizabeth muttered as she looked down at her now not-so-perfect dress.

After gaining his composure, he offered as he stood "I'm terribly sorry. Shall I get a club soda to see if you can save it?"

That voice... She nodded dumbly and was pulled down into Bingley's seat.

****

"First impressions, they say, are everlasting."

"Charles..." Darcy warned.

"No seriously. I've never seen a more gallant greeting. You do England proud."

He ignored his laughing friend and grabbed the drink from the bar man with a terse "Thank you." Then he grabbed a few napkins, went back to the table, and bent on his knees next to her. Can you ever forgive me? "Allow me?"

"No..." Yep, it's those eyes... "Thank you." Elizabeth took what he offered before standing. "Excuse me."

"Shouldn't you go with her?"

Jane shook her head. "She'll be fine."

****

"For God's sake, man, have you been on a binge since then?"

"No I haven't," was the indignant reply.

"Look, I know you and Lizzy didn't get on well, but... I didn't think you'd still be sulking about it."

"I'm not sulking."

****

"Yeah, yeah..." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the phone.

"I've had lots of guys tell me they loved me, but he said it before, during and afterwards..." Jane gushed.

"Did you say it to him too?"

"Of course! Well, I think I did... I meant to... I don't know... but I've never been so turned out in my life!"

***

"Oh!" Elizabeth startled as she nearly collided with someone as soon as she exited the bathroom. "Oh..." She grabbed her chest. "Hi. Again."

"Sorry. Again," Darcy mumbled, looking down at his shoes. "I came to... Is it terribly ruined?"

"Um..." she murmured, also looking down at his shoes. "I'm sure it'll be alright."

"I'll pay..." He looked back up and captured her gaze. "Whatever you want."

She shook her head but smiled.

****

"Strange, eh?"

"What?" Jane asked.

"Those 2." Bingley pointed to the empty chairs at their table.

"What's strange?"

"Nothing I guess." He shrugged. "So, you think they'll go out with us?"

"Do you really want to go out?" she purred.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"You, me and a rubber ducky..."

"Well, naughty girl, I say we... hey, there you are! Thought you got lost in the bog, Lizzy."

She looked at him queerly but sat down as Darcy pulled out her chair. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He sat down beside her.

"Are you drinking tonight?" Bingley asked.

"Not so much." A waiter appeared at her side and wiped up. She ordered and smiled in her unease. "I'm a bit tired."

"You're not up to partying tonight?"

"Not really."

"Will's not into partying either." He was just trying to make conversation. "But that's his story to tell."

Darcy gave a quick glare at his friend but otherwise never took his eyes off Elizabeth.

She squirmed in her chair.

"Do you mind if we cut out now?" Jane asked.

"But... I just ordered."

"Stay and have your drink." She stood up as did Bingley. "Take the car, Charles will see me home."

"But..." Elizabeth said to their quickly retreating backs. "Well!" She fiddled with her glass.

Darcy shrugged but continued to stare.

****

"Is your friend always so silent and broody?"

Bingley paused in nuzzling Jane's neck to answer "Yes."

"He's not... weird, is he?"

"What do you mean?" The elevator doors opened.

"He's not going to... kill her or anything, is he?"

He dragged her towards his room. "Babe... save that wild imagination for me..."

****

"So, how was your weekend?" Jane twirled the phone cord in her hand. "Did you get some rest?"

"No."

"Well, you should have. I stayed with Charles just so we wouldn't disturb you."

"Yeah, right."

"I know, I know!" she giggled. "Are you working late tonight?"

"Yes, back to the same old grind," Elizabeth answered with another roll of her eyes. Jane could be thoughtless at times. "Look Sis, I've got to get back to work."

"Well, of course you do and so do I. I'll talk to you later. Bye!"

****

"Did you 2 argue?"

"No."

"Did you have a nice chat then?"

"I suppose..." Darcy shrugged.

"Did you at least see that she got to her car?"

"Yes."

"Well?"

"What?"

"I give up."

"Good."

"Fine. I'm calling Jane."

"Do it in your own room. I don't care to hear sonnets and kissy noises as you wax poetic on her many virtues and delights."

"Fine," Bingley pouted and left.

****

They had barely made it into the room upright. He was all hands and she was more legs than normal. The door (thank God!) was sturdy enough for their amorous display. Breaths mingled, tongues dueled, and hips ground against one another.

"Wait!" she cried when he tore at the back of her dress. "I won't have anything to wear home."

He growled but stepped back.

She attacked her own zipper while he tackled his. She stepped out her dress and pushed him to the floor; his pants pooled around his ankles. A high-heel caressed his crotch; he saw stars and Medusa.

"Here?"

"Now," she demanded and threw her panties and bra in his face.

He took a long whiff. "It's going to be a bit hard on your bum, isn't it?" He knew he would have a rug burn from the fall.

"No." She pounced on him. "I'll be on top."

"The hell you will!" He flipped her over on her back and pinned her to the floor. "At least not the first time..." he kissed her hungrily and moved in for the completion.

"Condoms," she managed to say against his lips.

"Bedroom."

"That's where we should be then."

"You insisted."

"A woman's prerogative."

****

"Better?"

"No."

"How about this?"

She gasped. "Ohhhh God!" Her cup runneth over.

"Relax."

"You think I'm a virgin?"

"Hush."

****

"The phone..."

"Ignore it."

"But... it could be... important."

He leaned up. "You don't think what I'm doing now is important?"

"Well..." She couldn't disagree with his logic. "It's stopped."

"I haven't." He dove back in and feasted.

****

"Hi Will!"

"Grrrrr!"

"I've been trying to reach you for days now!" Caroline purred into the phone. "Didn't you get my messages?"

"No."

"Oh... well, I was thinking about visiting my brother for a week or so; do you think he'd mind?"

"We're very busy here."

"But I..."

"How did you get my private number?"

"Um, well... I just happened to see your sister in town and..."

"Don't use it again. Goodbye." He grabbed his keys.

****

"Oh, fair Elizabeth!"

"Mr. Collins," she sneered.

"What are you doing on a fine evening such as this?"

"Nothing in general and, in particular, nothing with you."

"Oh, I know how girls like to tease - saying 'no' when they mean 'yes' but I'll wait you out. You'll change your mind soon enough."

"How does slapping you with a Sexual Harassment suit sound? Can I speak any plainer?"

****

"Sorry for the lack of bubbles."

"Do you need them?"

"Come here," he demanded.

She dropped the robe and stepped into the tub. He pulled her down to him.

"Where's the soap? I can't bathe like this."

"I had no intention of it." He laved a nipple with his tongue. "One centimeter clean as a whistle."

"At this rate, it'll take all day!" she giggled and squirmed in his lap.

"And all night..." he murmured.

"The water will get cold."

He slid himself home. "Who cares?"

"Indeed..." she whispered to the high tide.

****

"Again?"

"I'm famished; aren't you?"

"I suppose I am."

"High carbs and high calories restores strength and all that."

"No proteins?"

"Didn't you get enough?" he smirked.

"You might need to replenish..."

"Why don't we find out..."

****

She grabbed his wrist but could hardly read his watch. "What time is it?"

He looked up from his pillow at the clock. "7:30 pm."

"What day?"

"Sunday."

"OhmyGod!" She scrambled out of the bed.

"What's wrong?" He sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I have to get home."

"It's not so late."

"It's too late." She gathered her things. "Cinderella must leave the ball. She must dash."

He stood proud before her. "Does she want to?"

"Don't ask."

****

"Fortune has smiled upon me!" Darcy exclaimed and blew his horn. The window descended. "Do you need a ride?"

Elizabeth startled. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot your umbrella."

"Oh..."

"Get in."

"No thank you. Is it in the trunk?"

"Shall I play Caveman?"

She hesitantly did as commanded.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Dinner." That was casual, wasn't it?

"I see..."

The silence was a bit awkward but he was determined to fill it. "Anthony; Georgiana; Duchess - a Rottweiler; black on me but red on you; none in particular but if pressed, I'd say tea roses."

"What?" she snorted.

"My middle name; my sister's name; the dog I had as a kid; my favorite color and flower," he smiled. "I thought we'd get the preliminaries out of the way."

"Didn't we do that this weekend?"

"Things you meant to ask but never had the chance to..." He shrugged.

She bit her lip. "You're a mind reader?"

"I laid claim to your mouth only 50% of the time; your mind, I presume, was otherwise engaged."

"My body..." she exhaled on a breath as he grasped her hand and raised it to his lips.

"Exhausted, I hope, but yet not sated."

Elizabeth smiled knowingly, dreamily, and nodded her head. "Kristin; Jane, you know, then there's Mary, Kitty and Lydia; my mother wouldn't allow a beast of any sort in her house; Red on me, naked on you; Lillies."

"I'm taking you home."

"Why?" she fretted.

"So you can pack. At least for a week."

"But what if I..."

"Hush." So now you know how my weekend was... spent. Darcy smiled broadly. "Guide me, woman. Which way to ecstasy?"

 

THE END!

 

 

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