Look at what I am, look at what I have become. It shouldn�t have become this way
I stand, looking at my reflection in the mirror, I don�t recognise what I see before me
I see a shadow of my former self, polluted with greed and corruption. I hate this day
I have become what I always hated, like I said I never would, never in an eternity
My soul and heart feel dirty, no longer do I feel that I can rely on what I always could
Blackness grasps my heart and squeezes out the life, I feel nothing but an immense pain
I hate myself and everything I have become, I know the reasons and I believe I should
This is my life I am ruining, I hate this, but it all feels like I am playing a game
I hang my head in shame, I am nothing more than anybody else, I never have been
My spirit is broken, my pride has sunk, all I can see are the grey clouds from above
Surrounding my life, I can�t see my way around, no longer am I that well oiled machine
I wish I could lift up my hand and choke my own life away with an undertaker�s glove
I have started to hate the world, even though all this is clearly my own stupid fault
I have always respected myself until now, I realise that I am nothing anymore
This is my own life, this is my own fuck up, my own mistakes and shit that I built
My heart is corrupt, my soul is corrupt, no longer are my emotions and feelings pure
I turn away from the mirror, no longer wanting to see my pathetic, hurtful reflection
I want to smash the fucking thing, I want it all to go away, just like my life
I want the good feelings back, the confidence, the liveliness, the feeling of perfection
But that isn�t going to happen, not without the careful guidance of a sharp-bladed knife.
Poetic Penguin - 06.09.00 (18:23)
