BILLY

  My dog Billy technically belongs to my brother as a christmas present about five years ago. He's a little silky terrior with an immense desire to fetch tennis balls. In between tearing off the green fluff, he enjoys hanging around while you eat for titbits, sniffing, going for walks, and licking.

  He considers himself a lap dog but only ever stays up for two seconds at a time before jumping off again to bark at whatever invisible monster he next sees out the window. A notoriously hated monster is the dreaded vacuum cleaner but deodorant sprays take second place despite their small size.

  Billy also enjoys playing with the cat, contains a highly suspicious yet lovely nature, and sports nicknames such as Silly Billy, Billster, Chicken Little, Billy Boy, and his least favourite "who's a cute whittle billy booooy" which is automatically translated as "bring the ball and I'll throw it for you."

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