| iIt Just [Doesn't] Get Better (25 sept 02) Is Jen home yet? Has my dad become a man yet and give into the better life? Will I be happy again? Three different questions - three different answers. 01: Life sucks, especially when your Roo isn't around. Way to go Tom Rose with you and Jaime. After an evening of studying them, I'm a firm believer that they'll be fine. I've had a rough day, though. All this pathetic shit that goes on. In the end, after a few days of being real down, wow, I'm still pretty sad. 14 days, and she'll be back. Hooray. Maybe everything would go correct, and Jen could stay home, or I could go along. Today was definitely a "I Need a Hug from Jen" day. *sigh*. She makes the worst possible thing that much better. She makes this life of mine that much better. That much more stable. Everything is just right when she is around. Jenny Marie, I love you. 02: Yeah, I'm used to being this way, but it still hurt. We're both not aiding our situation, my dad and I, but I know it won't ever be the same again, I accept that. I just don't understand him. He makes no sense. He tells how much he can't stand his wife, yet he cancels our lunch plans to go to the hospital with her cause she doesn't know where it is. She was operated on there herself, but whatever. You have made this mess, dad, no one intends on cleaning it up for you. And by doing this kind of shit, you don't even plan on tidying up. Oh well. 03: And after a somewhat bad evening, crying myself to a 20 minute nap, I guess I'll survive. Too much sad music in the room, the car. I'm downright miserable. The majority of my time is now spent thinking. Missing Jen, wanting to be with her when we need each other most. And that is all the time. Love is such a great thing, but nobody ever said it was easy. Nobody said it would be so hard. But I know that everything between Jen and myself is right. That is all that matters. I just want her to come home and stay a little logner next time. FOrever if she could. But for now, this chapter closes, and we are but one chapter closer to the one called "Forever." That's the one where I never leave, and she doesn't either. It's just 1 million pages away. |