mrjournal35

you know some thing seems good at the time.

it is in the aftermath of it all, tho, that the bitches of payback return.

i have had a better wek of my life thse past 5 days, believe it or not, thanks to lindsay brewer. but with the end of the week came feeling full circle and leaving me just ... sad.

went with lindsay to get her tattoo, had dinner watched a movie on her birthday. she went shopping with me and my grandma, gave her opinion on clothes went out to the hot dog shop. another movie, more time with her.

we snuggled, we kissed, we held hands in the hallway (god i'm the oldest 5 year old). everything looked my way until today. lindsay gave me that "i just wanna be your friend" line.

i sat in english today, putting this together feeling a bit bummed. i'm sorry if i hurt most people or shock them when i say this, but i like lindsay brewer.

wow, i feel much better.

i'm not mad at her, i understand. of course, it's that never in 7 lifetime's did i think i would truly like her as i do now. she makes me smile, she makes me laugh, make me feel better about myself inside and outside. my family likes her, want her arounda t christmas, i just ... yeah.

i just fall hard. i don't know what i did or what i said this time, but i did something. i more than likely sacred her off like every 4th girl that's come across me in my lifetime. i said one word too many, though i don't know which word it was that she took wrong. i didn't tell her i loved her, i didn't ask her to marry me. i just enjoed her presence and what she did for me. again, i'm asking for too much i guess.

of course it hurts, it's sad. but with the weekend here, 5 more school days til break, i'll get better with time. i'll just miss having her around as more than a friend.

thanks for a great week, lindsay boo.