mrjournal34

034: just home from the weezer show what a night. nada surf's "blue moon" on the radio, setting the mood. left ear ringing still. overall, a super cool evening. lynn shows up with Jocelyn (*whistles*) a cutie who i later learn has a very nice taste in music, and good tv shows as well. met carly .. lost her as quickly as I found her. i guess that card is meaningless now...
jimmy eat world played first. awesome. good stuff from bleed american, and they played "for me, this is heaven." tenacious d ruled. love jack black and good ole kg ... i think i might have more pics of them than the almighty =w=. of course they just ruled. opened with rivers wishing brian a happy bday, then going into that shitty instrumental "death and destruction" (its not that bad, it sat in my head all day today). "jonas" ruled (should i call it grover?) new ones sounded sweet too, "your room," love "fall together" and "living without you." even pulled out "keep fishin'" from the summer. it was during "undone" though that fats and i had to follow jocee over a little more to the left. found her with who i called the hick-man (lame yes, just a nice hands on hips blah blah won't go any further cause that's all the further they did get. all that's left to her is that she is the SMG (Saucy Mystery Girl). Almost cried during "Only In Dreams" (wah wah boo hoo) it just seems to me that i'm jealous about nothing .. really .. so what i wished i was the "cute guy" hold the girl i find i have a lot in common with. i tell her about good ole faith and she inserts the occassional "aww." oh well, i guess my horoscope was wrong about the loved one .. spend the night having a long talk with a loved one ..

yet you did, rusty. for her name is fatsy, lynn to everyone else i guess. i just wish too hard, i do alot too hard. i just wish i had a chance, but you know you won't. the only thing that will always and forever be only in dreams.
..she hugs so great though. uses her entire body, and its nice and tight and .. *sigh*. it's just weird i guess for me to be saying this. and as i got out of the van after looking for her camera, to see her walking to the same point i was in the driveway, i started to get that feeling. that sudden feeling, that urge, i just wanted to kiss her. i don't remember much but i pretty much looked her in the eyes and just thought about giving her one but didn't. it'd be wrong, well i think it would be perfectly fine, but i don't know what she would think. i still have that feeling, maybe cause i replayed the scene in my head over and over again today. it made me just feel nice to think about that. you know how the really good friends have that awkward moment of silence when they're standing there on a cold dark evening and you know something is there (well, i think something should be there) and you think you should do something about it, and the one wants to but the other doesn't because that one is striking against members of the opposite sex. it's rough i guess. it doesn't hurt to like lynn, maybe i don't like her like that, maybe it's just one big dream that i'd love to have. oh well. i meant what i said in the van, im sorry jocee, but fats is cooler.