mrjournal30

pain sucks dude.

what hurts more : the pain in my stomach, or the fact that faith is declaring that being with neil is all she's ever wanted .. well both, since one brought on the other.

october 30: official sucks to be rusty's pathetic ass day.

the whole world of mine is at a state of confusion at the moment. I know that Faith is happy and wants to do everything to be the best girlfriend, and I just wanna throw up right now. I've never felt this bad since, well, I guess when Brewer chewed me out for being me in June.

she wants me to move on and just forget about her forever. and to think a year ago, i was at my happiest. faith and i talked on the phone everyday, plotting our next get together. I'd kill to have her scent around anymore. If she wasn't the best .. if I could move on, and stop crying at the moment. If Amy were closer, if Amy comes up at Christmas, if I could just do something.

Teenage love is the worst thing. Declared at this very moment and everything. I wish I could be like the rest of the world, and stop caring so much. Stop getting involved with the wrong girls, and find the right one and hang on forever .. it sucks, mom.

Welcome to Rusty's world. Where the girls are always too far away, and nothing good ever comes up around here.

On to bigger and better things I guess .. made a bitchin spaghetti meal this evening at Sarah J's place (her and Saad are so cute still .. makes me want Amy up here). Sauce Chock Full of Tomatoes, Peppers, Mushrooms, Onions, spices, and some wine .. tho the alcohol evaporates out when frying. Tay's 18th bday tomorrow, hope it's super cool.

Senior Trip to Boston .. whoo hoo I guess. Only joy I'd get there is going down to Newbury St. and seeing Aerosmith's resturant, known as Mama Kin (that's a good song).

Well, now that another entry has gotten me nowhere. Goodnite.

October 30, 2001. 10:46pm. Yankees still tied 1-1 in the 6th Inning. Rosie O'Donnell, seen from behind home plate, stuffing her face.