A play by Jonas Gardell, a Swedish author, playwright and comedian. He�s written several novels and one man performances both for the stage and television. One of his greatest strengths, both as a writer and a performer, is his ability to be funny and at the same time communicate truths about how hard it can be to be human, and human insecurities. He�s also very good at highlighting certain national traits in the Swedish population. He�s gay and married to Mark Levengood, a radio and TV host.
This is a short satirical play about Christmas Eve in a �normal� Swedish family, which includes arguing, traditional TV programmes and ham. Every Christmas Eve at 3pm the country stops as everybody is watching Donald Duck and his friends wishing us a merry Christmas.
Translated to english by dandygeek
The mom
The dad
The teenage son (who just hit puberty)
Sarah (the daughter)
John (the youngest son)
Granny
In the living room
Dad: - There, there. That�s not too bad.
The teenage son: - It�s crooked.
Dad: - Nonsense. Christmas trees look like that.
The teenage son: - It�s still crooked.
Mom: - There, no fighting now.
Sarah: - I want to hang the tinsel!
John: - No, I want to hang the tinsel!
Sarah: - Mom, tell John not to be like that!
Mom: - John, stop that.
Dad: - Stop it, the both of you. Or no one hangs the tinsel.
Sarah and John: - BASTARD!
Dad: - That does it, there will be no tinsel this year.
Mom: - But Charles, don�t upset the kids.
Dad: - They should learn not to whine.
The teenage son: - It�s even more crooked now.
Dad: (angry hiss) - It�s not.
The teenage son: - It�s really crooked, look at it.
Dad: - It�s not. It�s you, it�s because you�ve reached puberty.
The teenage son: - It�s going to fall over, I promise.
Dad: - That�s enough! I don�t want to hear another word from you!
Sarah: - Mom, mom, granny is crying!
Dad: - Nonsense, that�s just some water running from her eyes. It happens to old people sometimes.
Mom: - Well, I have to go to the kitchen and prepare the ham.
The teenage son: - When do we eat?
Mom: - I don�t know, you�ll have to look in the Radio Times.
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