Evil Dead II; A Review


 
Now being a loser it should be noted that I’ve never been on a date, but I’m certain that if and/or when I do go on a date the movie I’ll want to see is Evil Dead II. A horror movie in every sense of the word. full of zombies, people getting possessed and crazy chain-saw action. In the very beginning, the main character, Ash, and his girl friend travel to a lonely cabin in the woods (as happens at one point or another in every horror movie) for a little romance, or something. Then the horrible happens, Ash unleashes an ancient evil from the an ancient book called the book of the dead. This evil soon finds its way into Ash’s girlfriend who becomes possessed, and of coursed Ash is forced to kill her, by means of a shovel. This is when we see Ash’s sensitive side, remembering his recently lost love. Of course in traditional horror movie fashion what is once dead is never really dead and his girlfriend’s head attacks him, wounding his hand. This is where the real fun of the movie begins, Ash secures her head in a vice and attacks it with a chain saw. Ash’s hand soon becomes the next victim of the Evil, it attacks him and he is forced to chop it off with the chain saw as well. As it should end up, the daughter of the scientist who rented the cabin before Ash and a couple rednecks show up and find the bloody chain saw in the corner of the ruined cabin. Thinking Ash an insane murderer they lock him in the cellar, where, to Ash’s surprise, he is not alone. The heinous horror hag Henrietta is down there with him, and must convince the people upstairs to let him out. I don’t remember how but eventually he gets out, and he and the other people have to figure out a way to get away from the cabin. Eventually the daughter of the scientist figures out that she has to say some magic words to send the evil away forever or something, but when she does the evil comes  and Ash is forced to whoop a whole lot o’ butt. And eventually, after lots of death and blood a big swirling hole thingie opens that sucks the evil, and Ash along with it unfortunately, back into the middle ages. Oops… I just gave away the entire film…

Anyway, great date film, I’m sure your woman will be holding you tight through the whole movie, or something.
 

(Moral: Being an Evil Dead fan wont get you a date)

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