| A collection of the stuff Bart Simpson writes on the chalk board for detention in the opening credits |
| I will not carve gods. I will not spank others. I will not aim for the head. I will not barf unless i'm sick I saw nothing unusaul in the teacher's lounge I will not conduct my own fire alarms Funny Noises are not funny I will not snap bra's I will not fake seizures I will not defame New orleans I will not prescribe medicine I will not bury the new kid I will not teach others how to fly Teacher is not a leper Coffee isn't for children I will not eat things for money I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call The principals toupee is not a frisbee GoldFish Don't Bounce No one is interested in my underpants I shall not sell miracle cures I will return the seeing-eyed dog I will not charge admission to the boys bathroom I will never win an emmy The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause I am not allowed to fire substitute teachers My homework was not stolen by the one armed man I will not go near the kindergarden turtle I am not delicously saucy Organ transplants are best left to experts Five days is not to long to wait for a gun Their are many businesses like show business I will not waste chalk I will not skateboard in the hall ways i will not investigate revolution. |