GETTING TO KNOW YOU
by Pat Greiner
(Part 1 of 4)
�Do you remember the spacecraft that brought you here? The one you shared with the ambassador?�
�Mistral, wasn�t it? I remember your telling me about it � but remember it myself, I�m afraid not.� She shook her head in frustration and looked up at the nurse standing by her hospital bed. �I don�t remember anything. Even my name doesn�t seem familiar.�
�You will get used to it again, Beverly,� the woman reassured her. �And we think the quicker we can get you back to your ship � your home � the better chance you have of remembering things. And Beverly,� she smiled encouragingly, �Jean-Luc is awake now and wants very much to see you.�
�Jean-Luc? That�s the man you said I�m traveling with, the ambassador? Maybe he�ll be the key. Maybe seeing him will unlock my memory.�
�Do not hope for too much. But this may be a good place to start.� She watched the nurse go to the door and motion to someone in the hallway. She recognized the first one as Dr. Garmz, one of several who had seen her since she�d awakened the day before. Behind him was a man who, like her, was clearly not Voosan. He shared her pinkish coloring and had no bony ridge on his chin. He came quickly to the side of her bed and hugged her gently.
�Beverly, you�re alive, we�re alive,� he said softly into her hair as he continued holding her close. She couldn�t help stiffening and trying to push slightly away from him. He felt her reluctance and backed off far enough to look into her eyes. �You don�t remember me, do you?� He had been warned by the doctors, but part of him hadn�t believed she would not remember him at all. Disappointment was visible on his face for a moment. Then he smiled and said, �You�re alive. That�s all that matters. Memory will come in good time.� He sat on the edge of the bed and kept one of her hands in both of his, as though he couldn�t bear to give up physical contact with her. �Have they told you that we�re being released to return to Mistral?�
�Ahmar was just telling me that they think going there may help me remember. I suppose I should feel glad to be going home, but �� she pulled her hand back from his and turned both her palms up in gesture of frustration, �I have no idea what or where home is. And I�m really sorry but I have no recollection of you, either.�
Jean-Luc read the fear on her face. �You�re being asked to go somewhere you don�t know with someone who�s for all intents and purposes a stranger to you � and we tell you to take it on faith that this has been your life, and will be again. It must be terrifying.�
�You�re not terrifying, actually,� she managed a small smile. �But you�re not familiar. On the other hand,� she shrugged, �nothing is except this hospital and these people � and I suppose sooner or later I�ll have to go somewhere else.�
�How much have they told you about how we came to be here?� he asked.
�All we knew,� answered the doctor from behind him, �but I am afraid that is not really very much. Only that the two of you are far from home because of a wormhole accident, and face a long journey to return. That you are traveling alone and that your home world is part of a larger association called the United Federation of Planets. And that you stopped here on Voosah for a visit and were injured in the capsize of a private yacht on a sightseeing cruise. We know your names, and that Beverly is a medical doctor and you are an ambassador. I fear it has not provided much for her to go on in the process of reconstructing memories.�
�Perhaps if you tell me more about our past, it will help,� she suggested. �Could we just sit and talk for a while?� What she really wanted was a chance to get to know this man, at least a little, before she got on a spacecraft with him and went off into the universe. If this all turned out to be a mistake, or he was in reality some interstellar slave trader she had escaped from, or gods knew what, help would be far away when she was alone in space with him. �Why don�t you tell me how we got here?�
He smiled warmly at her. �It�s a long story.�
She glanced at the doctor and nurse who stood behind him watching closely. �Do you have any other plans for me this afternoon?�
�Nothing is scheduled,� replied Dr. Garmz. �Learning more about your past should be time well spent.�
�Well then,� she sat up straighter on her bed, and gestured to a chair across the room. �Why don�t you pull that up here by the bed? Oh, and just to make sure there�s no mistake � I take it you are Jean-Luc Picard?� Her tone was neutral, neither friendly nor hostile. At this point, she simply wanted this man to back off a step or two so that she could take her time in assessing him.
�I am indeed, and you are Doctor Beverly Crusher. We two comprise the entire complement of the Federation diplomatic sloop Mistral � and thereby hangs a tale,� he said as he settled onto the chair.
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Well, if this was home, it seemed to be a luxurious one. And if this was her traveling companion, he seemed to be a very pleasant one. Intelligent, certainly. Very patient, so far. And rather handsome, in a bald sort of way. Still, the notion of setting off for somewhere she didn�t remember, almost eight years away, with someone she�d known for one day was most unsettling. She could sense Jean-Luc�s happiness at returning to the ship with her, but she couldn�t share it. With nothing familiar to give her her bearings, she felt like a crippled ship adrift in space, hoping whoever found her was friendly.
They had started with a tour of the ship. He�d showed her through the cockpit, the star deck, the conference room, and holosuite. Another door slid open. �This is your sickbay.� He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. �Go on in.� There was a desk, her desk she supposed, and a biobed. The walls were lined with equipment and monitors. It was small but efficient. She picked up the device that lay on the desk. �Your medical tricorder,� he prompted. She turned it over in her hands, then glanced at him.
�How do I turn it on? Oh, now it is!� The display screen came to life.
�It�s voice activated, and keyed to respond to your voice in primary mode.�
�Hmm.� She put it down on the desk and moved toward the door. �Where are the engines?�
*****************************
The medical equipment hadn�t seemed to stir any memories in her. He�d been hopeful that something she�d used so frequently for decades might be ingrained enough to provide an automatic response. So far nothing had elicited any spark. He had spent the previous afternoon telling her about their careers, their time on the Enterprise, and how they came to be on board Mistral and halfway across the galaxy. He had spent almost as much time that evening recounting their personal relationship, from the first time he had met Jack Crusher�s girlfriend to their lives together on Mistral. At the end, when she commented that it made a very romantic story, but nothing seemed familiar, his heart sank.
He had slept little last night, wondering what their future held. What if she never regained any of her memory? What if her medical skills never came back? How could he help her relearn those? What if she decides she wants a completely new career? What if she never remembers us? Can I make her fall in love with me again? What if she doesn�t? What if she doesn�t want to stay aboard Mistral? What if, what if � they chased through his mind all night long.
All right, the engines next. He showed her where the propulsion section was, the main computer, the transporter bay, and the storage areas. Eventually, there was nothing left but the sleeping quarters � and the question.
Another door slid open. �This is our room,� he said simply as he stepped inside.
She came in and looked around. �Are some of these things mine then?�
�Everything on these shelves � that painting � and all of the things here,� he pointed to a closet, bureau, and dressing table on the right side of the room.
She opened the closet and looked inside. �Why would I store clothing instead of replicating it?�
�These are things you�ve acquired at some of our ports of call � wearable souvenirs, I suppose.�
�Is my taste always this gaudy?�
�It runs the gamut,� he smiled. �But the female is definitely the showy one of our species, and you�re no exception to the rule.� He saw her attention turn from the closet to the large bed in the center of the far wall. He wanted to believe that she would feel safe and comfortable sleeping in his arms, but one glance at her face dashed that hope. She was visibly ill at ease and, hiding his disappointment admirably well, he did what had to be done.
�While you are more than welcome here, I understand if you�d rather take one of the other quarters as your own for a while. For as long as you like.�
There was real gratitude in the look she gave him, and that hurt even more. She was grateful not to share his bed. Not to feel obligated to share his bed, he reminded himself. Her reaction was perfectly understandable, and it was only fair and chivalrous to make it clear that it would be her decision when to come to him.
�Thank you for being so understanding,� she said. �I feel so �� but she couldn�t finish the sentence, because she wasn�t sure exactly what she felt. Lost. Uncertain. Frustrated. Nervous. And guilty because he was being so very accommodating, and he so obviously cared about her � and she had no idea who he really was.
�It�s all right,� he said gently. �We�ll get through this together, one day at a time. After all, we have the rest of our lives to find something you recognize. The quarters at the far end of the hall are a duplicate of these, for ranking diplomatic guests. The other rooms are a bit smaller and plainer, so I recommend you take the large one.�
�You won�t need it for any diplomats?� she asked.
�I�m not on active service out here, and since we�re on a one-way trip to the Federation, I don�t plan on ferrying any local passengers about. I doubt there�ll be any call for them. I�ll move your things down there. You should have your own things around you.� She insisted on helping, and the task took only a few minutes. �May I suggest Altairian shrimp for dinner?� he asked.
�Do I like them?�
�You once stole a plate of them that room service had just left outside someone else�s door in a hotel on Betazed.�
�Oh.� She looked embarrassed. �I didn�t know I�d done criminal things.�
�Beverly, look at me.� He waited until she looked him squarely in the eyes. �It was a silly prank, not a criminal offense. And by reminding you of it, I meant to make a joke, not to make you feel badly. I want very much for you to feel comfortable and relaxed and � at home here. It is your home. And I love you very much.� He reached out to give her a reassuring hug. She accepted it, resting her hands lightly on his back, but didn�t return the pressure and stepped back quickly when he released her.
�I know this can�t be easy for you either. I�ll try not to be a complete idiot about things.�
�You have never been a complete idiot in your life. And I�m happy to tell you as much about your past as I can. After all, we�ll have the better part of eight years to fill.� He took a step toward the door. �I�ll arrange dinner, and you can decide whether you believe that shrimp story after you�ve tried them.�
He left her smiling, but the smile faded as she began to pick up the objects he�d carried to her room and arrange them. There was a jet black vase in a long, undulating shape. It felt pleasant to her touch, soothing to stroke, and she thought that it should tell her something � some memory of where she�d gotten it, some reason she kept this out of all the beautiful and fascinating things she must have seen in her travels through the galaxy. She sank down on the sofa and stared at the vase, held its cool surface against her cheek, smelled the air inside it, concentrated as hard as she could. �What do you mean?� she asked softly. �You�re part of my past � please help me remember.� Alone, she allowed her frustration to well up into her eyes, and a few tears slid down her cheeks and dotted the shiny black surface.
************************************
Half an hour later, she had given herself a good talking-to and had her emotions under better control. The least she could do was to work at relearning her past, not just sit and snivel over her situation. At least this ship and this man Picard seemed pleasant enough so far. And it had only been a week since the accident. The doctors had told her it could take weeks, even months, for her memory to return. If it ever did. No, she wasn�t going to consider that possibility, not now. She simply had to regain her memory.
Jean-Luc�s voice over the intercom summoned her to dinner, and a most irresistible smell greeted her as she emerged onto the star deck where he had arranged their table. �I could almost believe that I pinched a plate of these in a moment of temptation. Am I given to criminal conduct in general?�
�Not at all, which is what made it all the more memorable. And it�s only fair to tell you
that you felt so remorseful later, you had two orders delivered anonymously to the same room.�
�I have some sort of a conscience, then.�
�Your ethical sense is quite highly developed. Not unexpected, given your profession. But yours has always been very prominent.� He recounted her clash with a less principled doctor when Worf had nearly been killed in an accident, and her ethical crisis brought on by the unexpected death of a Ferengi scientist on board the Enterprise. �None of that rings a bell?� he asked.
�I recognize many of the names you mentioned, but only from hearing you talk about the Enterprise yesterday. If we talk about them long enough, I�ll probably start to feel as though I remember them even if I don�t.�
�After dinner, I�ll call up some of our recordings from the Enterprise. Perhaps visual images will help. At least you�ll be able to put faces to these names.� He picked up the empty dinner plates and started to carry them away. �Tea, Beverly?�
�Wait, let me see what you do with those,� she replied. �I�d better start learning day-to-day routines.�
�Excellent idea. These, like most waste material, go into the recycling system. There�s a chute in almost every room. The system automatically breaks everything it receives down to subatomic components which it can then reassemble as whatever material we call for.�
�All right, that�s something I know. I know what a replicator and a recycler are. But I don�t recall operating the ones on this ship.�
He showed her the nearest ones, noting that there were small replicators and recycling chutes in almost every room, as well as a larger one in the engineering room.
�But this one should be adequate for our immediate needs. All I do is say, �Computer, two cups of tea,� and � here they are.�
�Very good. However, if that�s all you say, the supposed tea will be quite undrinkable. With the replicator, the more specific, the better. �Computer, two cups of Earl Grey tea, hot, double sweet, double strong.� Now,� he said as he handed her one cup from each order, �let�s see which you prefer.� He placed his cup of generic tea into the recycler. �I already know my choice.�
She set both down on the table and looked back at him. �Don�t you want to switch them around while I�m not looking? A taste test really should be done blind.�
�I don�t think that�s necessary. The difference between the two is quite easy to spot.�
�So knowing that you consider one of these two cups to be, I believe �undrinkable� was your word � you still want me to sample of both of them? Is this some sort of educational process?�
Good, she was joking. Wait � she was joking, wasn�t she? He would have had no doubt before the accident. But now, he hadn�t yet ascertained how traits like her sense of humour had been affected. Well, hope for the best. �Pardon me, doctor, I would certainly not force you to drink inferior tea.� He delivered the line with what he knew was an infuriatingly paternal smile and reached out to remove the lesser cup, knowing that she would now insist on drinking it and rendering her own judgment.
�Thank you,� she said mildly, picking up the cup of Earl Grey as she allowed him to take the other one. �This is quite nice.� Another sip. �Yes, I can see why you enjoy this. It�s very good.�
Jean-Luc settled into a chair and sipped his tea in silence. After a moment, she picked up her cup and began slowly circling the star deck. He could tell that she was reviewing the things he had told her about this control and that display. Her memory for new things was quick, and her intelligence seemed as keen as ever. But there were subtle changes in her. Her sense of humour seemed to have diminished. She tended to take things quite literally. And there was a hesitancy, an uncertainty, that he had never seen in her before. Of course, her situation would make anyone uncertain, even fearful. She was handling it quite well, all things considered.
And yet � she�d never been that fond of Earl Grey. Her favored tea was an herbal concoction that her grandmother had taught her. But at his suggestion, she tasted it and found it delicious. He must be careful. Their situation gave him an opportunity to play Pygmalion in a very real way, and the temptation was certainly there. He thought briefly of visiting archeological ruins with a Beverly who didn�t find them dusty and dull. He imagined a Beverly whose interest in the theatre was confined to being an occasional audience member, and who would never again inveigle him to play a role in one of her productions. How delightful � and how unfair that would be. She�s had enough of her life taken away in the space of a moment. He must help her get it all back � every shred she can claim.
She stopped by a monitor and prompted him about his earlier suggestion. �What about those recordings you mentioned. I�d like to see some of what you�ve been telling me about, the Enterprise and the crew. Maybe seeing them would help.�
�Yes, of course.� He called up several of his personal archives and selected a recording that had been made at a party in Ten-Forward. �That�s Will Riker, and Deanna there � and you and there�s Wesley.�
�The son you told me about yesterday. My son. Gods, I have a son and I can�t remember him,� she pressed her hands to her temples in frustration. �He�s handsome, isn�t he? And very smart, you said? But this was taken some time ago.�
�Quite a few years. Wesley left to begin his studies with the Traveler some sixteen years ago. We have no idea when or how we may see him again � and yet, I have always had every confidence that we will see him again. To be honest, he is one of the people I would be least surprised to meet this far from home.�
She settled down to watch the monitor screen. He sat off to one side, identifying people and places for her, and fighting his urge to wrap her in his arms. Her terms. It�s got to be on her terms. About thirty minutes had passed this way when she pushed back her chair, stood up and stretched, and asked, �Can I see these same recordings on the monitor in my quarters?�
�Of course. Anything in the ship can be accessed from any dataport.�
�I think I�ll call it an early night. Perhaps if I watch these as I fall asleep, they�ll tap into some unconscious part of my brain. Thank you for everything, Jean-Luc. It was a delicious meal, and I�m beginning to feel a little more at home here.� She paused. �I know this can�t be easy for you, either. I really hope things will get better soon.�
Although she was friendly, her formality only underlined the new distance between them. �I�m sure it will. I would still like to plan on leaving Voosah tomorrow morning, after you�ve made a final contact with the doctors at the medical center. Are you comfortable with that?�
She shrugged. �As comfortable as I am with anything.�
�Which isn�t very.�
�I�ll be fine. We have to leave sometime, and it�s not as though I have any ties to this place either.�
�Well, we�ll discuss it again in the morning. Pleasant dreams.� He strode off purposefully to the Mistral�s cockpit, although his only real purpose was to remove himself as quickly as possible from a conversation that felt strained. She headed back to her quarters, grateful to no longer be watched like a broken pot that couldn�t remember how to boil.
***********************************
Jean-Luc was in the cockpit early the next morning. He hadn�t slept well at all. At 0400 hours he had found himself listening intently to the dark around him, trying to fool himself into thinking he heard movement from down the hall. As he was preparing to transmit his launch plans to the planetary traffic control center, a call came in. �Beverly, there�s an incoming transmission for you. You can pick it up on any monitor. Do you need assistance?�
�You showed me that last night, so it�s in the accessible memory banks. Thank you.� Was her tone just a bit sarcastic? He found himself rather hoping so.
She took the call in her quarters. Dr. Garmz appeared on the screen. �Beverly, I have what may be good news for you.�
�I suppose a quick cure is too much to hope for?�
�Of course.� The Voosan sense of humor was far less developed than their medical skills. �I have Dr. Haorft here. She was the one who escorted you on your tour of the medical center, before the accident.�
�Ah. I�m sorry, I don�t remember her, either.�
�No, but she remembers you, and she has something to tell you.�
An older woman�s face appeared on the screen. �Beverly. First, let me tell you how sorry I was to hear about the accident, and all that has happened to you. I have worked with amnesia patients and I know the terrible anxieties the disorder can provoke. That is why I wanted to talk with you. I know that you do not remember me, but when you and the ambassador began your visit, I was your contact at the medical center. Because of your professional interest, I escorted the two of you on an extensive tour of several hours� length. Sad to say, I was also the one who suggested that you go for a sail on my friend Kwurgl�s yacht. So you see, I feel quite responsible.�
�There�s no need. You couldn�t possibly have known what was to happen. They tell me it was a fluke whirlpool triggered by unexpected seismic activity on the sea floor.�
�I realize that. Still, I played my part in the chain, and in retrospect I would prefer not to have done so. But regrets are not the purpose of my call. I have been told you have no memory of your life before the accident. As I said, I have dealt with similar cases. I know the importance of your present state of mind in relation to recovering your past. And I realize that the situation you are in, about to journey off into space with someone you have no memory of, is potentially frightening and may even be detrimental to your full recovery. Nonetheless, I understand your need to be underway.�
And your point is �? she found herself thinking a bit impatiently.
�I want you to know that I observed you and the ambassador together, and that you need have no worries. The two of you seemed to be a most well matched couple, respectful of each other, and very, what would be the best way to put it � attuned to each other. Although you were quite professional when I met you, it was also clear that you were both very much in love.�
�Thank you, Dr. Haorft. You�re right, this is a most difficult situation. He knows everything about us, and I know nothing. I feel at such a disadvantage. It�s reassuring to know that this is where I belong, even if I can�t feel it yet.�
�Give yourself time, Beverly. And do not just wait to remember. Learn all you can from him and from records. A second-hand memory is better than no memories at all. Health to you.�
Her face disappeared from the screen, and Dr. Garmz reappeared. �I trust this was useful information for you.�
�Very much so, thank you.�
�You are feeling well physically? No problems?�
�Nothing physical. Just � well, you know.� She shrugged.
�I join Dr. Haorft in wishing health to you. We are unlikely to meet again. Long life and health to you both.� The screen went blank. In his office at the medical center, Dr. Garmz looked at his colleague and said, �Do you suppose it truly helped?�
�You know as well as I do that she will never remember the past. Anything we can do to help her feel comfortable in her life can only be beneficial.�
**********************************
She made her way forward to the cockpit. �I�ve been medically cleared to go.�
�And how are you feeling about taking off into space with me this morning?�
�Well, I don�t seem to have any conflicting appointments. At least �not that I can remember.�
He looked up at her with a quick smile, very glad to hear her make any sort of joke at all. But she wasn�t smiling as she slid into the other seat in the cockpit. �Sorry,� she continued. �I think we�re going to get tired of that line pretty quickly.�
Departure was a good time to further her knowledge of the ship. She watched closely and Jean-Luc described each step as he proceeded. Over the past few days, she had learned that her memory loss was mostly of personal information. More general information and abilities were still in place. She remembered how to read, but couldn�t recall any particular book that she�d read before the accident. She knew perfectly well what a starship was, what the Federation and Starfleet were, but she had no memories of herself living on board a starship, or even what planet in the Federation she grew up on.
As she watched him prepare the ship to leave orbit, she found she knew what the various systems were for � she simply had to learn the particulars of how this ship functioned. Soon Voosah was receding on the viewscreen, and she went up to the star deck for a more spectacular view. Watching the planet dwindle to the size of a marble was a moving sight. She felt again how new everything was to her. The two of them had a whole quadrant of space to explore, but she had a whole life as well. Suddenly the stars changed from pinpoints to smears and Voosah was gone from sight. �We just jumped to warp speed, didn�t we?� she yelled toward the cockpit. �It�s incredible!� She knew what it was � but she hadn�t remembered how going into warp sent a little ripple of anticipation and excitement through her. What was out there, who would they meet, and now � what would she learn about herself?
************************************
Alone in the cockpit as they left Voosah behind, Jean-Luc couldn�t help remembering how the two of them had watched the planet appear on their viewscreen eight days earlier. They had been traveling without interruption for fifty-six days, making excellent headway toward home, but ready for a chance to stretch their legs somewhere besides the holosuite. They had decided they could take a day off from traveling, and agreed to look for a planet that had an advanced warp culture, one where planetary visitors would be a matter of course, not an event, and they could be just another pair of tourists.
Setting the long range scans to isolate promising planets, they had soon found Voosah, a class M planet about half again the size of Earth rotating around a yellow star. Dozens of very active spaceports dotted its surface, and its outer atmosphere was heavily traveled by small intraplanetary craft. Further out, interplanetary vehicles such as theirs were also common. And the communication channels were filled with subspace messages both to and from the planet. Their sensors turned up no signs of war or severe natural disasters going on. Voosah seemed an excellent spot to stop for a break.
Scanning through the subspace chatter, it was Beverly who first noticed a higher-than-usual occurrence of medical terms. �Lots of these transmissions seem to be consultations,� she told Jean-Luc. �And judging from some of the conversations, several of the vehicles in orbit are medical transports from other planets, bringing patients here for treatment. They are evidently some sort of medical center for this region of space.�
As they drew closer to the planet, Jean-Luc isolated the frequency for planetary traffic and initiated the first official contact.
�This is the Federation sloop Mistral, requesting permission to assume a parking orbit.�
�Health to you, Mistral. We are not familiar with the Federation. Please identify your home coordinates.�
When he did so, there was a moment�s silence from the other side. �You are a long way from home.�
Jean-Luc gave a quick summary of the wormhole anomaly that had deposited them on the other side of the Alpha quadrant, and explained that they desired only a day�s visit. The communications officer on the other end seemed a friendly sort who had several recommendations for scenic areas they might enjoy. �Do you want to see natural wonders, or would you rather visit a city? Do you enjoy hiking, or motorized tours, or maybe you would rather see some of our commercial centers? It is hard to know what to recommend when you will only be here for a day. Hmm, maybe the Cantarian Falls, or ��
�I�ve noticed a lot of medical communications going to and from your planet,� Beverly interrupted. �Is medicine something Voosah is known for?�
�Voosah is known for medicine the way Xaryon is known for engineering,� came the reply. Beverly and Jean-Luc glanced at each other in response to the unfamiliar reference, as if to say, that must be pretty good. �Are you in need of medical assistance?�
�Not at all,� she replied. �I only ask because I am a medical doctor myself. It�s just professional curiosity. I gather from the communications I�ve heard that your science may be more advanced than ours.�
�May be?� came the answer with a slight hint of condescension in the tone. �I am sorry, that was uncalled for. But I must tell you that we have yet to meet any culture whose medical science is more advanced than ours. Our doctors serve not only our people, but many, many other races, and our xenobiologists take great pride in their expertise in the anatomy of literally hundreds of life forms.�
�Really?� said Beverly. �I don�t suppose there would be an opportunity to tour one of your medical centers at such short notice?� Jean-Luc immediately began to scale back his expectations for this vacation. But Beverly was excited at the possibility, and he still hadn�t developed much skill at saying no to her.
In short order, they had been placed in touch with the central office of the Praav Medical Center for Xenobiology, made arrangements for Beverly to meet with Dr. Haorft, one of the senior advisors, and placed Mistral in a high parking orbit over Praav, a city on the coast of the smallest of Voosah�s four continents.
Beverly checked that their transponders were still in place and functioning properly while Jean-Luc programmed the coordinates they�d been given into the transporter. In a moment, they found themselves in Dr. Haorft�s office.
(This story continues in three more parts.)