| I wrote this Fairy Tale out of boredom and frustration one summer. It SEEMED like a good idea at the time... |
| "I told you the walls have ears, but oh, no, you had to be Mister Wiseass and go and say something. Lookie there," He gestured with his snout to the ears of various shapes, sizes, and piercings hanging on the wall. "That's the way the walls are here."
"Well, where I come from, it's an outdated figure of speech. Anyway, forget that, I thought dragons were supposed to house great strength and agility. Why don't you force your way out of captivity?" "Sorry, I come from a kinder, gentler breed of dragon. No can do. It just wouldn't be prudent." Our Hero rolled his eyes, just wishing for someone tall, dark, and handsome to save him. |
| Starring: Our Hero, Filbert the Whimsical (a fire-sneezing dragon), the Gallant Knight, the Lecherous Trolls and Overbearing Lackeys, and a special appearance by the Wicked Witch of Just North of Due West. |
| See the stars as they work the an Impending Crisis of Great Magnitude! |
| Our Hero and his new Sidekick, Filbert, found themselves in a busy part of a town just outside of the castle walls. They ducked into a Seedy Looking Joint just long enough to catch their breath and grab a quick drink. The owners of the Seedy Looking Joint had made an attempt to decorate the place in a mildly floral manner. They foolishly made this attempt with Running Roses, and in a land where metaphor runs psychedelically rampant, they now had to employ people to catch said roses as they tore about the perimeter.
Ignoring the rampant silliness going on outside (A-Ha! A motif emerges!), Our Hero and his Sidekick trundle on in, not realizing the danger that awaits them. Little did they know that the Gallant Knight was also in the Seedy Looking Joint, fending off all sorts of advances from those that found all tall, dark and handsome Gallant Knights particularly desirable. In fact, he just narrowly escaped from one such individual with this slogan emblazoned across his chainmail: "For the right toll, my drawbridge goes up anytime." The Gallant Knight's eyes bugged out at this and he was about to make his Speedy Escape when Our Hero and his Sidekick ambled past and distracted all the Lecherous Trolls. Funny, Our Hero has always been gifted with that particular talent, but in this world, the Lecherous Trolls were squat, hairy creatures that limped and were hunchbacked and were all named Juan and Jose and worked for Wicked Witches from various points of the compass. |
| Yes, it is a fairy tale... |
| It behooves us to avoid archaisms... |