Entry 7: Pedophile
Agent Number 9 gave future Agent Number 11's cousin the "faggot quiz." She failed miserably. Their conversation is filed below.
Note: Names and screen names have been changed to protect the innocent.
bnlx11: hi
bnlx11: Who are you?
Mindiis of Moo: just a friend
Mindiis: how are you today
bnl: Ok
Mindiis: good to hear, good to hear
Mindiis: not very talkative, are you
bnl: brb
bnl: k
Mindiis: okay
bnl: I'd be more chatty if I knew who you were
Mindiis: if you really must know, my name is Agent Number 9
Mindiis: I'm a member of the Secret Agency
bnl: Hi Brandon!
Mindiis: who is this Brandon?
Mindiis: I am Agent Number 9
bnl: Ok
Mindiis: what is your name?
bnl: Enid
Mindiis: Enid?
Mindiis: no it's not
Mindiis: not at all
bnl: Yeah, it's Dine spelled backwards
Mindiis: who would name their kid that?
bnl: My parents are crule
Mindiis: no they aren't
Mindiis: cause they didn't name you that
Mindiis: they named you Shayna
bnl: Yes they did
bnl: Very clever agent 9
bnl: Do I get your name now?
Mindiis: I told you - why would you want to know?
Mindiis: it's Agent Number 9
bnl: Because
bnl: Youre parents named you agent #9
bnl: ok then
Mindiis: no, my agency named me that
bnl: ok, than what were you before they named you?
Mindiis: that information is not to be disclosed
bnl: ah
Mindiis: so what did you do today?
bnl: nada
bnl: you?
Mindiis: i performed some missions for my agency
Mindiis: you know, this and that
bnl: Where do you live?
Mindiis: private information
bnl: Try Dearborn Michigan!
bnl: Ha!
bnl: Not so super secret now, are you?
bnl: ;-)
Mindiis: nope i guess not
Mindiis: now i suppose i'm just secret
Mindiis: so
bnl: mm-hmm
bnl: so
Mindiis: will you stop saying that i'm a boy
Mindiis: for, yes, i am a girl
Mindiis: and do not like being referred to as "he" (EDITOR'S NOTE: bnl was talking to Agent Number 11 during this conversation and kept referring to Agent 9 as a male. Agent 11, in turn, told Agent 9.)
bnl: I know
bnl: I'm just pushing your buttons
Mindiis: okay
Mindiis: ohhhh alright
Mindiis: ha ha
Mindiis: you're a funny one
bnl: Yes, I am
Mindiis: so do you like trying new things?
bnl: What kind of new things?
Mindiis: you know
Mindiis: "new things"
bnl: Um, sure
bnl: I have nothing to lose
Mindiis: are you sure about that?
bnl: Why not?
Mindiis: didn't your mommy ever tell you not to talk to straners
Mindiis: there are bad people in the world, Shayna
Mindiis: who knows, I might be one of them
bnl: Yea, but I'm already strange.
Mindiis: ah ha ha ha
bnl: yea, so what?
bnl: I have killer dogs to protect me
Mindiis: oh do you?
Mindiis: i'm scared
Mindiis: do you like to be scared?
bnl: You should be
bnl: are you afraid of the dark?
Mindiis: not all the time
Mindiis: just some times
Mindiis: what makes you scared?
bnl: What's your favorit scary movie?
bnl: If you know who I am, you tell me
Mindiis: tell you what?
bnl: What scares me
Mindiis: aww but that's no fun
bnl: Sure it is
bnl: You can't do it
Auto response from Mindiis of Moo: i'm off performing a secret mission. be back shortly.
Mindiis: you'll have to excuse my absense - i was off performing a secret mission
Mindiis: now, what were we talking about?
bnl: Fear
Mindiis: ah yes
Mindiis: weren't you going to tell me a few of yours?
Mindiis: fears, that is?
bnl: No, were were telling me mine. If your as secret as you think you are you'll know
Mindiis: uh oh
Mindiis: you're getting an attitude
Mindiis: perky
Mindiis: well, if you must know...
Mindiis: you have an extreme fear of alien abductions
bnl: Yes?
Mindiis: i am correct, am i not?
bnl: Maybe, What else do I have
Mindiis: you have an obsession with BNL
bnl: Or, what do you have?
bnl: What about you 9?
bnl: Water?
Mindiis: oh we're not here to talk about me
Mindiis: back to you now
Mindiis: would you like to know some more things about yourself?
bnl: Tell me, chicken
bnl: sure, why not?
Mindiis: you own 4 Dalmatians
Mindiis: 2 parents, 2 pups
bnl: Ooooh, very clever
Mindiis: had enough?
bnl: Sure, I'm sick of this
bnl: Tell me about you.
Mindiis: naw, i don't think so
bnl: Your fears...your parents
bnl: You age...16!!!
Mindiis: very good
bnl: Am I correct?
Mindiis: i wish i knew how to read a profile
bnl: Have you had enough?
bnl: I know who you are -- admit it!
Mindiis: oh we're not talking about me
bnl: Oh yes we are
Mindiis: how are aaron and janet today (EDITOR'S NOTE: "Aaron" is not to be confused with Aaron Swiick.)
Mindiis: formally known as your parents
bnl: We already talked about me
bnl: ok
Mindiis: Shayna Rose Lax, I don't like this attitude I'm getting fromt you
bnl: I don't like your attitude
Mindiis: why, I'm sorry
Mindiis: hmmm...
Mindiis: okay, I'll let you go
bnl: Bye
Mindiis: but i've got 3 questions first
Mindiis: wait a minute, wait a minute
bnl: Weirdo
Mindiis: answer my questions
bnl: fine
Mindiis: ready?
Mindiis: what do you prefer - rubber, or plastic?
bnl: sure
bnl: Neither
Mindiis: oh, surely you need a preference
Mindiis: everyone likes one over the other
bnl: no
bnl: maybe you do
Mindiis: why yes i do
Mindiis: but i am human
Mindiis: and that's what i'm asking about you
bnl: get on with it
Mindiis: alright alright
Mindiis: no need to get your panties in a bunch
Mindiis: question number 2:
bnl: I don't use either
bnl: ?
Mindiis: who is your favorite cousin, Brandon or Renee?
bnl: Renee, because Brandon's workin for the man
Mindiis: fair enough
Mindiis: if i told you i was the alien who formally abducted you, what would you say?
bnl: I would say, you're full of sh*t
Mindiis: are you sure?
bnl: Yes
Mindiis: my my
Mindiis: then we have a small problem here
bnl: Which would be
bnl: ?
Mindiis: it seems that you are a pedophile
Mindiis: you have just been filed
Mindiis: have a nice day!