Entry 14: Vegetarians
Agent Number 11 was previously being stalked by "Steve," a horny bastard who ejaculates in stray dogs. Agent Number 11 blocked his screen names. Knowing "Steve" was heart-broken, Agent Number 9 took on the guise of a fresh garden salad and tried to cheer him up with a nutrious snack. Their conversation is below.
Note: Names and screen names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Skozman: no
LeafyGreenSalad: oh
Skozman: who is this?
LeafyGreenSalad: you don't like to eat healthily?
LeafyGreenSalad: i am a leafy green salad
LeafyGreenSalad: who are you?
Skozman: a asshole
LeafyGreenSalad: oh i'm sorry
LeafyGreenSalad: i've never spoken to an asshole before
LeafyGreenSalad: but then again i'm a typing salad, so i guess i can't be picky
Skozman: oviously u got my name from someone
LeafyGreenSalad: not necessarily
LeafyGreenSalad: what makes you so paranoid?
LeafyGreenSalad: do my tomatoes and mushrooms disturb you?
LeafyGreenSalad: they're only toppings, you know, i can remove them
Skozman: ok
Skozman: i know who u are
LeafyGreenSalad: okay!
LeafyGreenSalad: okay..
Skozman: Mindiis of Moo
LeafyGreenSalad: mindis of moo?
LeafyGreenSalad: i'm a leafy green salad
LeafyGreenSalad: you have me all wrong
Skozman: u dont have to mess with me feeling like shit as it is
LeafyGreenSalad: i am not messing with you!
LeafyGreenSalad: i just figured you would like to speak with a salad (myself), that's all
LeafyGreenSalad: i see i should leave you alone now
Skozman: just stop playing games i know u are Mindiis of Moo
LeafyGreenSalad: i'm a salad!
LeafyGreenSalad: stop accusing me!
Skozman: u just want to rub in how much of a asshole i am
LeafyGreenSalad: help! help! i'm being molested!
LeafyGreenSalad: what???
LeafyGreenSalad: i'm a salad
LeafyGreenSalad: sheesh
LeafyGreenSalad: no talks of ass holes here
LeafyGreenSalad: gee, i never thought a salad could be so offensive
LeafyGreenSalad: i am going to block you now
LeafyGreenSalad: but eat salads! they are healthy!
LeafyGreenSalad: eat meeeeeee!