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The Death Monologue
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
by Tom Stoppard
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Rosencrantz:   Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead lying in a box with a lid on it?

Guildenstern:  No.

Rosencrantz:   Nor do I really.
       It's silly to be depressed by it.
       I mean, one thinks of it
       like being alive in a box,
       and one keeps forgetting to take
       into account the fact that
       one is dead...
       which should make all
       the difference... shouldn't it?
       I mean, you'd never know you
       were in a box, would you?
       It would be just like
       you were asleep in a box.
       Not that I'd like to sleep in a box,
       mind you, not without any air,
       you'd wake up dead for a start,
       and then where would you be?
       In a box. That's the bit I don't
       like frankly. That's why don't think of it.
       Because you'd be helpless?
       Stuffed in a box like that, I mean,
       you'd be in there for ever.
       Even taking into account the fact
       that you're dead, it isn't
       a pleasant thought.
       Especially if you're dead,
       really...
       ask yourself,
       if I asked you straight off...
       I'm going to stuff you in this box
       now, would you rather
       be alive or dead.
       Naturally, you prefer to be alive.
       Life in a box is better than
       no life at all. I expect.
       You'd have a chance at least.
       You could lie there thinking well,
       at least I'm not dead!
       In a minute somebody is
       going to bang on the lid
       and tell me to come out.
       Hey, you! What's yer name!
       Come out of there!

Guildenstern:      I think I'm going to kill you.

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