IT DOESN'T MATTER

What if I missed you
What if I do
Everytime I see a denim loop
A new car
Or the constant never ringing telephone
Empty mailbox full of junk
I sink deeper
  "I tried to fill my life with friends
   I tried to fill my life with lovers
   I tried to fill my life with music
   I tried to fill my life with God
       But I tell you this...
this void will not leave me"
Like a constant dropping figure of woe
Hangs over the clothes line around my neck
And I wonder as I fall asleep
I wake up troubled like you've been sleeping
In my mind all night long

What if I'm angry
At myself
What if I now cry my nights to sleep
Like I used to
"Leave to go back where I'd come from"

What if I wear my happy mask just for you
So others don't worry

What if I tell no one
That I'm eating my flesh from the inside out
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