How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Dont disquise your voice.
3) Everytime someone asks you something, ask them if they want fries with that!
4) Put a garbage can on your desk labeled "IN".
5) Put decaf if the coffee maker for three weeks, once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to expresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordence with the prophecy".
7) Dont use any punctuation marks
8) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9) Ask people what sex they are, laugh hysterically when they answer.
10) Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go"
11) Sing aloud to the radio.
12) Put mosquito netting around your work area, play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
13) Five days in advance, tell your friends you cant attend their party because your not in the mood.
14) When your money comes out of the ATM machine scream "I Won" "I Won" "3rd time this week"!
15) When leaving the Zoo start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, their loose!"!
16) Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy were gonna have to let one of you go". |
