Chapter 2: Memory Pool
Voices rose and fell from the parlor again. Katie was snuggled soundly under the blankets, unused as she was to Skye’s world. One voice seemed to come closer yet: probably Skye, as she went to bed.
In her own world, Skye was something of a enigma to Katie. She almost ran the household—not physically: the maids and governesses did that—but emotionally. She played with Stephen and Ryan and seem to actually enjoy it; she french-braided Lenora’s ankle-length hair without calling her a stuck-up debutante the way everyone else did; she graced the otherwise-overlooked servants with small smiles of appreciation; she made conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Strenobell during ordinary moments and steered others away during those tender, special moments when the two were better off in their own bubble of privacy. Yet those talents were subtly, almost unnoticeably artificial—as if the real Skye was somewhere else.
Physically, Skye looked like Jason. Katie laughed at the sudden similarity of the two faces dancing in her mind Well, Skye looked like Jason except for her eyes. Jason’s eyes were amber, and Katie usually loved the way they looked. Usually it wasn’t difficult to remind herself that he wasn’t her boyfriend—or even here on Skye’s world at the moment—but when she remembered his eyes she had to suppress a shiver. Skye’s eyes reminded Katie of copper. Not cold, but polished—guarded, competent.
Skye’s coppery laugh came from outside the door. Rich, pretty, not forced, but somehow…just somehow inauthentic.
Katie had caught Skye staring out the window during dinner on her second night at the Strenobell’s. She had a fairly good reason to look—the Strenobell Estate was an ancient house in a beautiful part of the city on the prettiest island on the planet. At this point in the season, it was surrounded by trees and scented with the unique fragrance of leaves. Katie herself had grown up on a space station. It had been a large space station with artificial trees and even artificial dirt—and she had never seen the leaves so beautiful as they were here. She had followed Skye’s eyes out the window, and watched in fascination as Skye watched a single leaf drift from one branch to the ground.
“The cycle of life and death,” she had murmured, and her eyes had changed slowly from copper to amber, with golden lights flickering in their depths.
Mrs. Strenobell had given her a concerned glance.
Skye’s mask had fallen back solidly into place, and she had poked her cousin. “Stephen, would you like to go outside after dinner, before it becomes too dark to see? I will show you how to catch the leaves, and you can make a wreath for your mother.” Mrs. Strenobell had nodded approval, Stephen had squealed with delight, and Katie had never seen Skye with amber eyes since that moment.
I wonder what she’s really like, she had thought.
She twisted under the blankets, wondering if she would ever have a chance to find out.
Katie
woke with a start. That dream
again. The next time I fall asleep,
Skye and I will be in “our” place in the sand by the ocean
again. No, we won’t,
‘cause I’m not going back to sleep. I’m going to pull that treadmill
down from the corner of the wall and drink synthesized
“You’re early,” Leonard said.
“Nightmare,” Katie replied, as if that explained everything. But Leonard did seem to understand.
“I’m sure glad to see you here,” Leonard said, and he gestured her inside. With a gesture of chivalry that reminded Katie of Jason as he had been, Leonard left the outside door open as he ushered Katie into the workspace. He described each of his inventions in loving detail. He was truly a genius, Katie realized. She was actually slightly interested in the theories, drawing from Leonard’s passion, and that interest was a nice change from her usual half-distracted purposefully half-unconscious state.
Leonard finally showed her the pair of devices that he had described to her—or rather, his single device, because the memory-changer and the time-changer were built together, all of a piece. There was a seat and a Palmreader, not unlike Katie’s own Memory Printers. It was larger than a Memory Printer, though, and where a Memory Printer’s computer screen would have been, Leonard’s invention held a pool of sparkling water. It looked unsynthesized, and before she could restrain her curiosity, Katie let two fingers drop into it. Nothing happened, and her hand seemed to brush air instead of water, leaving no impression. The pool was solid as ice, yet moving with the wind like water although sending the reflection of her hand back like a holographic mirror. It’s beautiful.
“Are you ready?”
“Uh…” No, I never will be, but unless I do something I’m going to go very quickly insane. I can’t call these memories to mind, I can’t live with them, but I can’t live without them either. I long too much. “I guess. I want to try to change things. I don’t want to forget.”
“Are you sure? You could be the person you are now, just without…”
“I’m sure.” I can’t live like this, haunted from without and within. Besides, if I didn’t remember what used to be, I would be even emptier inside, without even the nightmares to fill the void.
“Okay. You have to think about the moment, just like you do with the Memory Printer. Your memory will appear in the water. I’ll see it too…”
“That’s okay. I guess I have to show it to someone.”
“Then by all means.” He gestured her into the chair. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I
can’t think about Skye’s death yet, but I can think about the
horrible fight with Jason afterwards.
He thought that I had died inside too…I couldn’t tell him
that I still cared about him, and he thought he had been replaced and almost
killed. He didn’t know that I
cared about him for himself. He
didn’t know that I cared about how horrible school was for him too. Maybe if I could change the moment when
he thought I had truly abandoned him…he wouldn’t abandon me to live
with that grief afterwards. At
least the two of us would be together.
Skye’s loss hurts, but Jason is still alive now. I didn’t have to break off all
contact with him.