(Canadian Satire)
then celebrate by overindulging in whatever beverages are served.
The fourteenth day of every February I celebrate love
by remembering I owe it all to a sainted, winged, naked child with a deadly weapon.
Every March I celebrate the first missionary to Ireland
by getting piss drunk on beer with a slightly strange hue.
One weekend every spring I celebrate Christ's resurrection
by searching for whatever was left behind by an egg-laying rabbit.
The first day of July I celebrate my country's birth
by consuming large amounts of beer brewed by a foreign-owned company.
The first Monday of September I celebrate Labour
by taking the day off work.
The second Monday of October I thank...
Who do I thank anyway???
Everything I have I owe to my own abilities or to chance. Why should I thank anyone else?
The eleventh day of November I remember those who died for my freedom,
while criticizing my southern neighbours for bringing freedom to other countries.
The evening of the twenty-fourth day of December I celebrate Christ's birth
by awaiting the arrival of the sainted god of stuff,
who will show up that night in a vehicle pulled by mutant hoofed creatures.
Canada is a nation with a glorious history.
It is also the nation with the best holidays.
My name is Dan!!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!
