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Lonliness. I�d have to say that is one of mankinds� greatest fears. Its certainly mine. A paradox, in my case, actually, because of how picky I tend to be about who to be with.
Make no mistake: I haven�t had all sorts of terribly dramatic cases of friends and significant others betraying me. Its simply that if you choose badly, either a close friend or a mate, it can and will come back to bite you.
You see, most of us have the desire to grasp at whatever offering of love that comes our way. To those who are wise and scrutinize these offerers, I salute you.
For example, what happened to me once. I had a cute girl that I had been with for a few days. Nothing serious, mind you. But the attention she gave me. Thats much of the matters right there, I think. Someone who�ll pretty much unconditionally spend time with you, and listen, and worry about your happiness. And she was cute. Another very important factor.
Straying off track for a bit, attractiveness: its beyond important. Its just how humans work. How we were meant to work. There�s the common saying, �Beauty is only skin deep.� And �Don�t judge a book by its cover�. Etc, etc. One gets the impression that looks aren�t important to you, if one is a mature, enlightened person. Bull. If you know someone who�s the best possible person you could ever create, who�s got so much in common with you, who�s your perfect match mentally, socially, and ethically, and this person isn�t seriously attractive to you, you will be seriously screwed if you start a relationship with him or her.
Then the question comes up, �How is that fair to the numerious ugly people around us?� Well, the answer is simple. Attractiveness isn�t universal. Many times, girls I�ve found attractive, my friends find butt-ugly. So even those people you think are ugly are attractive to someone out there. Including you, if you consider yourself ugly.
Anyhow, on with my example/story. The cute girl. So, we were great for a few days, until tragedy struck, and everything ended. A very soap-opera-ish thing. Very dramatic, made worse by my tendency to exaggerate things, due to my love for the dramatic. Indeed, I sometimes create dramas when there is nothing at all there.
Well, it ended. I was left without the comfort of having this cute girl to play with. Left without �love�. Enter stage left, another girl, who had liked me since she first saw me. Not ugly, in my judgement, but definately nothing special. Nothing I�d get married to. And worse than that, her way of thinking, and her voice were an endless annoyance.
So, this very enterprising, kind girl saw my condition, and took it upon herself to give me all the attention the cute girl had been giving me, and more. Before I knew it, she was in the cute girl�s old place, and I was stuck in a relationship with her.
Some may say here, �What a loser. A mature person doesn�t need anybody, or to do anything that they don�t want to.� While I won�t dispute the loser part necessarily, the second bit I will.
As the song says, everybody needs somebody. As another song(techno, actually. A lot of deep thoughts are found there, if you look carefully. Either that, or I�m better than I thought over-reading into things) says, �Love is all around, love is all around. See it in the eyes of a mother and a child, see it in the eyes of a friend.�
Our species needs to be loved. You may say here, �I�m single, and I�m perfectly happy. I don�t need anyone.�(a thought that reminds me of Ebenezer Scrooge, personally). But look at the song I just quoted(incidentally, if you know who wrote it, let me know.). Love isn�t only received from boyfriends/girlfriends. Family, mostly mothers, fill that loving role for a lot of people for many years. Then there are your friends. Most people discount the value of the love of a close friend. Indeed, it is often discounted as homosexual behavior, or in the case of friends of the opposite sex, mistaken for the beginings of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Actually, for me, the line between a close female friend, and a girlfriend is very fuzzy. Most of the females that have been close friends of mine I have been attracted to, on some level, at some time. And all of the girlfriends that I�ve really cared about were more friends than girlfriends in the normal sense. A poll I took on my website showed a lot of people are attracted to their friends as well. But I�ve gotten off track yet again. Or is there any track at all to this?
Ah, yes. The love of friends. Great stuff. No, necessary stuff. Even if you have a significant other, these friends� balance you out, I suppose. Sticking all your eggs in one basket isn�t wise, they say. Same thing with love. Sticking it all with your significant other isn�t much fun when they give up on you, smashing all your eggs in one fell blow. Much nicer when you�ve got close friends left to console you that you aren�t entirely alone in the world.
So if someone isn�t with somebody, or doesn�t have a few close friends, or a loving mother, then I really doubt that they�re happy.
I�ll come back to friendship somewhere further down the line, I�m sure, but for now, back to my semi-original point. My example/story. So, what happened was that I was in �girlfriend withdrawl�, and I grabbed whatever was handy as a replacement. At the time it seemed a great deal nicer, and smarter, but looking back, it wasn�t.
What ended up happened was that I was stuck with this girl I wasn�t attracted to, who was rather annoying at times. What options did I have? Keep going, or stop the suffering. Unfortunately, the girl had fallen for me rather badly. Stupid of her, eh? But, alas, I had no choice, end it all fast, like ripping off a band-aid quickly.
And there you have the results of my lack of scrutiny. A period of wasted time and annoyance, as well as a girl with a broken heart. So, in conclusion, children, choose your women/guy carefully. Make sure he/she is rather attractive to ya, and not annoying. Someone you think you could possibly marry without a lifetime of suffering and regret, pretty much.
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