ADAM ST. ALBAN

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From: J.A. Tomassen
To: Adam H. St. Alban
Subject: Roses in December
Date: Tues, 18 Dec 2001 18:22:04 +0100

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Monsigneur,

I write you in the name of my lady the Toreador Prince of Lyon.  Undoubtedly, you are aware of a recent incident in which your manservant outbid our representative for a rather charming J.M.W. Turner.  I believe you are equally aware that my lady the Prince has a special fondness for Joseph's work stemming from personal reasons which I shall not delve into here, while you have nothing but a passing fondness for the monetary gains this work will bring when deGlace stages his coup in London next month.

Had it been any other but your ever-presuming self, St. Alban, rest assured that the painting would have been immediately and violently restored to the one who deserves it.  Unfortunately, since the damnable Second War there have been among the Roses many who would swear on their immortal souls that you are the very defender of all Art.  Alas, they would interfere with my lady's enjoyment of her reclamation of the piece.

Therefore, this is not a threat but a treaty.  You are far from financial poverty, but to date there are still those in the Old World who would not concede your claim to Elderhood.  Restore the painting to my gracious lady, and she will bestow an acknowledgement that, shall we say, will unquestionably rectify that small hindrance.

We trust this proposition will suit you.  The lady's servants will arrive in 24 hours to collect Turner's final masterpiece.

Sincerely Yours,

Josev A. Tomassen, Primogen,
Childe of and Servant to Her Excellency,
the Prince of Lyon