Chainsaw Jack

Yo, fucka, where you think you's goin'?

Yeah, I's talkin' to you. So shut da fuck up 'n listen.

Name's Chainsaw Jack. Clan Brujah, 'n damn proud o' it. You on ma turf now, so behave yo'self. Don' lemme even THINK you's gon' diss sumthin' o' mine. See dat pi'cha dere on da right? See dat bigass muthafucka? Dat's me.

See dem little guys 'round me? Dey ain't dat l'il. Dey pro'lly bigga'n you, 'n dey can kick yo' ass widout breakin a sweat.

See dat ground unda ma feet? Dat's gon' be you if you try pullin' any shit on me. We clear?

Good. Watch yo'self. Cuz I's watchin you. Me 'n da fam'ly.

On Carnage

Who da fam'ly? Carnage da fam'ly, yo'. All-Brujah pack, nuthin' but da bad muthas fo' us. We's me, Megara, Junipa, Dimon 'n Dimon's kid Iriel. We da baddest pack in No' Chuck, 'n anyone make trouble fo' us, we beat their ass. So don' make trouble. Don' even look at us cuz we might take dat fo' a challenge.

On Neighboring Packs

We's coo' wid' da Talons, tho. Fo' da most part. So don'tchoo talk no shit on dem. Rosemary might look like a lona at first, but wait 'til you git her ass drunk. Hoo!

Talon got a daughter pack--Intempesta Nox. Dat's Ali's pack. Ali use to be an asskicka, but afta he got his own pack he got all fucked in da head, started doin' politic-shit. He too full o' hisself. I think in a pinch we'll still stand togetha, but I don' like most his pack 'n I don' know if I like Ali no mo' cuz he always tusslin' wid ma Brujah brotha. Tesla's coo' in ma book, tho, so you fuck wid her, you fuck wid me.

'Member dat Brujah brotha I toldya 'bout? Meet Trekka. He Nox Veritas' knight, 'n dat makes Nox tol'rable. Not to mention how Constanta da Bishop rains lava down on her enemies' asses. Literally. Sheeeyit. Anyone who kin do dat deserves much respect.

On the Leadership

Like I seyd, Constanta's da Bishop. Well, one o' dem, but da only one who fought fo' her place. 'Member wut I seyd 'bout da lava? Well...dat's how she won Monomancy. Shudda! Twitch! Pers'nally, I jus' wanna run fo' ma mutha when she glares at me wid' dose freaky-cold eyes. But if dat gits out, I'll skin yo' ass and make you eat yo' guts.

Da otha Bishops 'r Soleman 'n Stanislaus. Da first kicks ass good, but he too soft wid' lupines. Still, he heads da Talons, so I's a'ight wid him. I don' trust Stan one bit, but he smart 'n as long as he on yo' side, he's not dat slimy. But he's a Lasombra, 'n you know how dey are.

On the Clans

Wut, you don' know? Fuck, where you been fo' da past five hundred years? Sheeeyit. Well, list'n up, foo', dis's da run-down. Da Lasombra kin't be trusted none, cuz dey usually waitin fo' you to turn yo' back so dey kin stab it. Sumtimes dey don' even wait.

Da Tzimisce 'r worse. Dey don' just stab you. Dey'll switch yo' tongue wid yo' pecka fo' kicks. Ughh.

Da Gangrel Anti ain't so bad cuz dey kick ass, but sumtimes dey jus' too spacey fo' me. Da Malkavian Anti 'r like da REALLY spaced-out version, minus da claws, so dey ain't no fun.

Toreador Antis kin kiss ma hairy ass. Dey ain't good fo' nuttin' but fuckin' up. As fo' da Nossie Antis? Yuck. Git back in da sewer, rat.

Assamite Antis--ehhhn. Neva met none o' dem close-up. Don' think I wanna. Ain't neva met no Ventrue Anti eitha, but if dey half as bad as dem Cammie Ventrues, I don' wanna know. Serpent o' da Lights 'r da same deal. I hear sum real bad shit 'bout dem. Like, dey worse dey Tzimisce and Lasombra put togetha, PLUS dey kin fight. Yucch.

Oh, den dere's us. Brujah. Antitribu, Anarch--we all coo'. Duke, Trekka, Megara, Dimon, Junipa...nuthin' betta den a Brujah. We stick togetha, 'n we rule da nights. Even sum o' da Cammie Brujah ain't so bad, but dere's dis one Nickolai ass on da otha side dat can suck ma fat dick. Fuckin arrogant prick.

On the Sects

Still, arrogant o' not, least he talked to a bloodbrotha. Most o' dem Cammies don' even talk none. Dey jus' wanna kill us cuz dey's brainwashed by deir eldas. I say kill 'em all...it's a fuckin' mercy. Like puttin' a sick dawg down.

Da Anarchs 'n da Independents, tho'--I kin respect dem. I think dere's a lot to be said fo' anarchy, 'n mebbe even mo' fo' independence. I might join dem, 'cept most 'r eitha lost in da clouds o' muthafuckas who'd sell deir own brotha to git ahead. Naw, man, it's Sabbat fo' me. We fight fo' freedom, 'n when we really get it togetha, ain't nuthin gon' hold us down. We gon' tear dis world apart 'n make it ours.

Fo' dat matta, if you don't gitcho ass outta ma sight on da count o' three, I's gon' start wid tearin' yo' FACE off. I don' think I like you standin on ma turf no' mo'.

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