| Confucius Says..... *woman who goes to mans apartment for snack, get titbit *man who lay woman on ground, have piece on earth *man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag *man who kisses girls behind, gets crack in face *man with holes in pants, feels cocky in face *man who fight with wife, get no piece at night *man who farts in church, sits in own pew *man who lives in glass house, dress in basement *man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have a shitty time *man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent *man who walk through airport door sideways is going to bangkok *man who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants *squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts *rape impossible. woman run faster with skirt up, than man with pants down *secreetary not permanent until screwed on table *girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip *better to be pissed off then pissed on *passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly *if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient *virginity like balloons--one prick, all gone *girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge *man who run in front of bus get tired *man who run behind bus get exhausted *woman who wear wonderbra make mountains out of molehills *man with one shopstick go hungrey *man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down *man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy *foolish man give wife grand piano. wise man give wife upright organ *man who pee on electric fence receise shocking news *man who sleep on bed of nails is holy *man with athletic finger make broad jump *blonde who fly upsidedown have crack up *a streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work *it take nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it *man who make love to girl on hill, well, he not on level *man who sit on tack get point *man with tight trousers is pressing his luck *man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with stinky finger *learn to masterbate, com in handy *man who go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution in hand *he who kisses woman's ass get crack in jaw *folk who make confucius joke speak bad english *woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring *girl who rides bicycle peddles ass all over town *man who put cream in tart not always baker *crowded elevator always smell different to midget *woman who slides down banister make money shine *man who drive like hell, bound to get there *condom should be used on every conceivable occation *no difference between man and mouse--both end in pussy *bird in hand makes hard to blow nose *woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary *he who let woman on top is fucking up *he who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs *baby conceived in back seat of automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless basterd *girls should not marry basketball players, they dribble before they shoot *man who pulls out too quickly leaves rubber behind |