September/October 1999
New Store Opening A new Bed Bath & Beyond is opening just down the street from where we live. Jerry is currently in the process of opening it, and then he will work there. It is close enough that Jer can ride his bike to work, which is nice for Suzanne, as she will no longer have to wait for Jer’s days off to run errands! Jerry started work on the opening in the middle of September, and will continue to work every day until October 5! After that, he will be taking a well-deserved vacation, and we are going to visit Illinois at that time.
Summer is Over  We took advantage of the recent cooler weather to go to some events and attractions. We saw a local production of "Big River," which was the first time Rio had been to a play. We took a nice hike up in the mountains—Rio was quite a trooper with the steep walk! We went to the zoo and saw a Komodo dragon. We went to a Greek festival. And Suzanne saw a performance by the Utah Symphony and got to meet one of her musical heroes, Keith Lockhart, who was conducting. Our busy summer has come to an end, with delightfully cool temperatures and a decline in the family activities in Salt Lake City, but we will probably be able to find more to do on our own in the coming months.
The Rio Report   Rio had his third birthday on September 22. It has been a long and fulfilling three years.
     Right now, Rio is a bunch of threes: at three years old, he is about three feet tall and weighs 30 pounds. He loves to have school every day, and is learning so much. He can read most three-letter words perfectly (and some of the easier four-letter words like SAND or PLAY), and is getting into some harder vowel sounds without any trouble. He has slowed down on his story dictating, but he can write about a dozen letters without any help, and can write most of the other letters with some help. He is starting to learn to add with the aid of his abacus. We recently got a microscope, and now we like to find things around the house to make into slides. He loves singing (he is getting pretty good at staying on key) and pretending to conduct or play instruments in the symphony (he got a toy saxophone from a friend for his birthday, and he plays with it all the time, in addition to his trumpet, violin, flute, and tambourine). Rio, always the chatterbox, is developing an impressive vocabulary, with EXPECTORANT, SYMMETRICAL, TIMPANI, ENDORPHINS, and BAGATELLE being among the more recent additions. He is a very friendly little boy (it is his current habit to go to people in grocery stores and ask, "Where do you live?"), and polite, always saying please and thank you.
     Rio was recently in an online Cute Baby Contest, and with the help of several hundred online friends giving their votes, he won. He gets a T-shirt, and will be entered in the finals next month. We will let everyone know of the final results next time.

Just How Stupid Are You?
Believe it or not, most of these questions are based on real-life arguments we have had over the years! How does YOUR Idiocy Quotient hold up? Answers and scoring are below.

1. Which U.S. City is highest? (1 pt.)
   a. Helena, Montana
   b. Tallahassee, Florida
   c. Boulder, Colorado

2. How are these words pronounced: (1 pt. each)
   a. Alzheimer’s
   b. ornery
   c. orangutan
   d. nuclear

3.Which of these is the largest carnivore? (1 pt.)
   a. gorilla
   b. Dalmatian
   c. panda bear
   d. Asian elephant

4.Which is heaviest? (1 pt.)
   a. an ounce of gold
   b. a pound of wood chips
   c. four ounces of quartz sand

5. What is the best way to stimulate an infant’s brain growth? (1 or 2 pts.)
   a. breastfeeding
   b. sleeping in bed with its parents
   c. >watching at least 4 hours of PBS per day

6. Which U.S. City is farthest North? (1 pt.)
   a. Augusta, Maine
   b. Minneapolis, Minnesota
   c. Boise, Idaho

7. What can you tell by counting the rattles on a rattlesnake’s tail? (1 or 2 pts.)
   a. its age
   b. its gender
   c. how many times it’s shed its skin
   c. all of the above
   d. none of the above

8. Which set of lottery numbers is most likely to win? (1 pt.)
   a. 1,2,3,4,5,6
   b. 4,13,26,31,40,43
   c. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30
   d. all of the above

9. Which of these newborn babies weighed the most? (1 pt.)
   a. Baby Jean; 7¼ pounds
   b. Baby Ray; 7 pounds, 2 ounces
   c. Baby Margaret, 6 pounds, 18 ounces

Answers to Idiocy Quotient test: 1-c.Though Helena is farther north (higher on a map), Boulder is technically higher in elevation. 2-a. ALLS-himers, not ALL-timers; b.OR-ner-ee, not ON-ree; c. or-ANG-u-TAN, not or-ANG-a-TANG; d. NEW-clear, not NUKE-you-ler. 3-b.The others are bigger, but they are not carnivores. 4-b. A pound of anything is heavier than one or four ounces of anything else. 5-b.The virus is toxoplasmosis, and while harmless in adults, it can kill a fetus. 6-1 pt. for a; 2 pts. for b. While it is true that children who were breastfed as babies are an average of 8 IQ points higher than children who were not breastfed, new studies show that the best way to increase a baby’s brain power is to have it in constant skin-to-skin contact with adults. One of the best ways of achieving this is to co-sleep. 7-b. Though Augusta looks higher on the map because of the latitudinal curve, Minneapolis is actually farther north. 8-1 pt. for c; 2 pts. for e. A snake does add a rattle every time it sheds its skin, but since the rattles start to fall off when they reach 6-8, the number of rattles is not a good indicator of the number of sheddings. 9-c.Numbers are chosen at random, and any combination is equally likely to come up as any other. 10-a.7¼ pounds is 7 lbs., 4 oz, which is heavier than 7 lbs., 2 oz or 6 lbs., 18 oz (which, incidentally, are the same).

Scoring: 12-15: Congratulations! You’re not stupid!
8-11: You seem to know a lot, but you might want to invest in an encyclopedia anyway.
4-7: You should be ashamed of yourself. Pick up a book once in a while!
0-3: You’re an idiot. Get out of my face.

Getting His Lessons Mixed Up…Daddy told Rio all about how fluoride helps your teeth. Later, while playing with a map, we asked Rio what was good for his teeth. He replied, "Florida!"

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