Malawi Diary
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WEEK 1
Hey guys,
Well as you can see I'm away again! You all got a break last summer as I did the boring stay at home thing. This time I'm away on an extended medical elective where I was supposed to be rocking the casbar and running a hospital. As I thought that was a slight exageration and the med. school has sent me to a place where there is a continuous passage of elective students and the hospital is over run with VSO, UN, and do big American research institutions which provide a lot of funding, expertise and man power (as well as local employment). Also there are lots of Malawian 'medical officers' trained to do what we're qualified to do. Anyway, I'm kept busy in the hospital and seeing a lot things (mainly HIV, TB and Malaria) as well as some other cool things that we see in the UK too. The head of medicine seems to get excited about conditions which are pretty normal to us Brits and on the first day asked one of the junior doctor and me to do a case presentation on a patient with a hyperactive thyroid. I never had a chance to go back and see the patient before she was discharged nor could I speak enough Chechewe to talk to her nor have I seen the other doctor about so fingers crossed it;s not happening. Not that keen on doing it as my purpose here is not to do presentations on common UK conditions but to see crazy african stuff.
As for the place, I may be in the capital but that's all it is. There's nothing else here, it just exists for government buildings. Taking a look at the road that is Lilongwe on google maps kind of suggests the lack of much in this town. As for where I'm staying, I've ind of landed on my feet as I'm in one of the doctors houses as he's away working elsewhere and as long as I buy the food for me and the guy who loves there and does all the cooking and cleaning etc I have no expenses. Being up at the hospital is a bit annoying because come half 5:30 it's pitch back and you can't really go out. NOt that there's that much to do unless you have a car. There's a Guesthouse nearby run by the University of North Carolina for all their research doctors which is where the other MIMP (the program I'm on) students which gives me VERY slow interner and people to chat to. Although I do spend time with Patrick (my 'house boy') and his mates watching African TV and films and R. Kelly (watched his 'Rapper in the Closet' soap opera song, it's actually pretty funny). I'm supprised about how UKish things are, attitudes and food and things, apart from the dust, the obvious lack of money and the sheer amount of black people it's as different to the UK as other countries I've been to. I'm also greatly impressed by their attitudes to HIV, sex and views on the world. YOu know Malawi seems so far just to be lacking money or commodities to offer the world, so it;s in a very difficult situation.
ANyway, been entertaining myself as much as I can here, one of the irish doctors here is REALLY keen on the whole ex-pat front so he's got us involved in a couple of parties and stuff with them (including lethal cocktails last night).
Anyway, need to boost and do something to full the very long-seeming weeks.
JWEEK 3
Right guys, Needing another update me things. Not had much time as the DARKNESS settles at about 5:30 and that's when the blood sucking beasts come out. Well, so far I've been running about the hospital, annoyed at the multitude of UK medical students that are appearing in this apparantly under staffed hospital where we would be the only medical trained people. I'm getting on with it tho, running about sticking needles in people veins, arteries, chests, abdomens and spines. Don't worry I'm also stitching them up as well!
Last weekend (as in the one before the one we;ve just had) I headed off to Blantyre dor a wedding and to see the Malwi med students who came over to Scotland last year. The bus there was hastle free (but an hour late) and you know in comparison to most other developing countries, not that much to report. There are laws about how many people can get on a bus here, and during the daytime people actually follow them (quite a developed trait following rules). Anyway, we got there in the dead of night (18.30) and Chatman met us off the bus and took us back to the Malawi College of Campus resdences which is really like an awesome holiday resort! A bar, a free canteen, all rooms decent sized with en-suite bath, shower and toilet! I mean we get nothing like that in the UK and we have to pay for our accomdation, this is all free in Malawi. Anyway out for a meal with Chat, Judy and their friends to a place that cooked some of Africa's finest fried things! We went back to ye olde residence and slept till the early hoursof the morning when we got up and had a wee look at Blayntre. The museum and the Henry Henderson Institute mission and I think that leaves about 1 or two things left for me to see on my next trip to Blantyre. We returned to get ready for this wedding reception ( I should mention it's the wedding of the guy who's house I'm staying in) which was an experience. What really happens is that the bride and groom sit on a stage then a guy in African Regalia announces a group of people (say the white people in the corner) then they play a song and you have to dance, throwing money at the bride and groom till he end of the tune, at which point another group is announced (like the white people again [you know we have all the money]) and it all continues.
We headed just before the end in time to get the free canteen food (awsome feed of rice and beef stew, should have mentioned that it was awesome chicken and chips the for lunch for FREE!). We sat up that evening talking about the waysof the world and polital and social issues. These guys are pretty switched on and forward thinking you know. Actually most of the Malawi's aI've met and chatted to are, other countries seem to be full of mentalists but so far here it seems the only thing that seems to be keeping Malawi a developing country is lack of money and lack of resources, not attitudes! I suppose that'w why they get a lot of foreign aid and things, because as a country they seem a safe bet to actually use donations properly. Anyway the next day was to head back to Lillongwe and so we jumped onto a type of bus I've never experienced. Is basically an old school bus attacked to the cab of an articulated lorry. Makes a long bumpy ride with it stopping every place it could. Also gave me a chance to chat with another switched on Malawian who is doing a course in community development. Basically in this course you do different level deplomas, the first is to learn about development programs, the second is to devise a program your self, the third is to formulate how it is to be funded and the last is to find funding so basically completeing the course gets you a job and helps your country. Pretty savey of them!
That week was another rollick in the hospital, finally got my ARV audit off the ground. The highlight was probably when I went back home and Patrick preduced a fried mouse for my tea, hair and all. I managedabout halfof it at which point the fur just chocked me and a could eat no more. Sorry guys I feel I have failed my country, but it's the first time I've not completely eaten something but I did give it my best shot, was not hungry and was feeling a bit off-sorts that night. Next time, I promise!
This weekend the three of us dundonian plus the 2 sheffield elective students decided to hire a car and head to Myoka Village at Nkata bay. You know the roads are actually pretty safe here, I have less fear than driving here than I would in France or Italy. Nic the Shef was first to drive which was soon stopped when she smacked into a herd of materialised goats! This took out the bumper and fog light. Not to worry as a heard of happy villagers strapped it all back up with some sizal. I headed off at the helm and took us all the way to Nkhata with only one goat experience where it came and did a sort of Fusbury flop onto the bonnet. Myoka village was pretty nice, it could be anywhere you know, typical backpackers resort, but lovely all the same. The highlight, however, was bumping into Mr and Mrs Nisbet from Madras College being shown the country by Zoe! Small world eh! Anyway a nice relaxing weekend that left me glowing. The drive back was exciting as we almost went under an juggernaught as it sharply pulled out in front of us and due to the petrol shortage hadto drive 90km on petrol fuels and me getting away from showing documents at an army road block by telling the the guard that the villagers had eaten our documents! Think that takes us up to the here and now and a less than brief way where I've surely missed the important issues. Like the massive sports complex, gym and football pitch attached to their residence and for their use. I'm stuck in dusty Lilongwe with nothing to do....
Laters
JIMBO!WEEK 7
Alright guys,
Been a while since I�ve updated a combination of busyness and undependable internet connection but if I leave it any longer the email will be a bit like an energiser battery. I�m attempting the to write in word then email you all when I get a chance (should hopefully help my outrageous spelling!). Since I�m accounting for 3 weeks there should not be too much detail, however, as you know I often delve into enough intricacies as to what colour of pants I was wearing.
So, three weeks ago headed over to Zomba, in my blue striped pants, on the over-night bus. Arrived at about 03.30 to be greeted by a small Stagecoach bus. None of my peers were up for heading up the plateau to see the sunrise, and that was very possibly the most sensible thing since we didn�t really have much of a clue where we were going. IN the early sunlight, the walk began up the road to the top, curving round and round the hill. Pretty good views over Malawi�s mountainous countryside (still a fact that surprises me). At the top the choice of accommodation was the Ku Chawe hotel at $106 per night or tents (or hammock) in the trout farm for $3. I think you can guess where I went. The trout farm was a lovely place with 6 baby trout, and when I asked the manager if there was any fish to eat, he looked at me as if I�d made the most ridiculous suggestion ever! The place also had a lovely pond which for only 50 kwacha you could float around in a oarless boat. The next day up relatively early (well it�s hard to sleep in a hammock with no blanket at 14 degrees Fahrenheit) and a wee walk round the area looking at more nice views. The reason for the Zomba trip was the Eleve8 music festival which apparently was going to have 300+ people taking more than just beer. It started about 12 and had a mix of local reggae and hip-hop acts and South African DJs playing early 90s dance (the highlight was when DJ Jean, The Launch was played!). The 300+ people were more like 50 and the vast majority were elective students (much to my annoyance)! Foodwise the choice was �2 toasties from a charity that is trying to prevent the starving villagers round Liwande National park hunting the animals to eat so they can be conserved and some over cooked chicken from the Ku Chawe hotel at about �5 (not the prices one expects from Africa, but I am finding Malawi a tad more expensive than I had anticipated). It was not bad for a weekend and we headed slowly back the following day to Lilongwe.
I returned to find out from Patrick that his Gran had taken ill so the two of us travelled to his home village Dowa. A lovely experience travelling there on the back of a pick-up with a women breast feeding in my face. We arrived in the market and suddenly there was rampage for the bags on the pick-up, people fighting over them. Surely they belonged to people, but it seemed a first come first served, free for all. We got to Patrick�s Gran's and she wasn�t that bad. She�s 80 years old and sounds as if she had arthritis and started suffering from Angina. I had a wee chat with her and saw the meds she was on and she told me she was taking 900mg of Aspirin a day. Scary stuff! That�s enough to make your head explode so I pointed out she was meant to take half a tablet, not 3! We had lunch and tried this local nut thing that was basically fibrous but ridiculously sweet so you just chewed it till there was no flavour and spat it out. Patricks Gran, thanked me for coming and said my visit was enough to make her better and Patrick told me I had to tell his 18-year-old sister (who apparently is already divorced) to help his Gran out more round the house as she does nothing.
The following theme for the following week was hypertension. You see the diagnoses for patient�s admissions seem to always follow a theme, Malaria, Meningitis, Pneumonia and whatever was the last teaching theme. It does get a bit ridiculous, I had to sort out a patient today who basically had indigestion and heart burn but had a diagnosis of Lactic Acidosis or sepsis (both of which ve ry serious!) Anyway we also had a lot of randomly swollen people, with no pathology. Apparently this is related to a national food shortage, which kind of makes you feel a bit guilty for having fried chicken every day! I also had to do my brilliant department meeting presentation on thyrotoxicosis.
On the Friday that week Patrick took us to a �variety show� at the nursing school. This place was very interesting as it had a dirt cheap bar and lots of guys running about getting drunk (African men seem to be 1 beer wonders). We picked up from the nurses the attitude to females drinking and smoking. It basically means you�re a prostitute! You know a guy will buy you a beer if you dance for him and maybe do more if you buy more! We never really got to see much of the show as we were in the bar performing our own stuff and poor wee Patrick never had a chance to do the rap he�d written for the occasion. We complained about that so the re-opened the show and charged us 50 kwacha each and we got to watch a surreal fashion show and random people dancing on stage to their favourite song. Patrick and his mate suggested going on to a club, which I was keen to do. Experience a local club, something I don�t think I�ll do again. We got there and the music was very loud and the type of hip-hop I really can�t stand.The place was full of �Prostitutes� and there was even a �rest house� for people and their new friends out back. As soon as we arrived I realised whities possessions are not safe so I buttoned up my pockets and set about keeping them covered. Unfortunately things didn�t go well for me. Patrick was very concerned as he knew the bad things that happen the (he�s a good guy, just like me, likes a drink or to) and kept telling me to guard my pockets. Unfortunately to tell me, because the music is loud, I had to concentrate very hard and cup my ears with my hands to hear him over the nose. This gave a very poor, yet very successful, pickpocket nab my phone and scarper. I felt him do it but was too late. Patrick was irate and was running about trying to get the guards and his mates help track it down (although there really was nothing we could do and it could happen anywhere) but his friends basically said, �Don�t worry, he�s rich he can buy another one!� This gave me sudden shock as to how we�re perceived. I mean the poorest people in the village who have nothing, love you and give you so much. They will insist on sharing their not enough food with you. The richest people are on the level, they have more money than us and don�t really care that much. But this false resentment by the middle people, the see white people as rich and it�s their right to steal from us and rip us of because we�re rich and they are, yet these people can afford a car, to drink beer and even sleep with prostitutes which doesn�t really sound like they are on the poverty line to me.
So still awake? Last weekend, headed to Liwonde national park to meet Chatonda and Yambanso, two Malawi medical students. They were supposed to have organised things but this didn�t really happen as they didn�t really know what to organise. We went round the park on the Saturday night then stayed in Liwande. The following morning back to the park and round on the open top safari, which wasn�t brilliant in safari terms. Elephants in the distance, hippos in the ears and lots of Impalas, water bucks and warthogs (or War Thogs as Chatman calls them). In the afternoon went in Kayak, which was good, up close and personal with hippos! Since Liwonde has no predators you can walk about and go in the boats which I suppose is the novelty. That night we got chit-chatting with a school group that were painting a house up north and having a wee holiday. Anyway drinkie-drinks with them and the teachers then up 6 am for a walking safari. This was nice enough and we got up close to a hidden elephant in the a thicket which apparently went a bit mental and charged us. We all ran away so I can�t be sure. Headed back home to Lilongwe. Anyway this last week has been more of the same, nothing dynamic that I can think of although I just experienced the most grateful baby in my career! This lady had been having breathing problems and had a hugely distended abdomen. I was asked to tap her abdomen to remove some fluid and so I proceeded to train 10 litres from this lady. She looked like she had another 40 left in her but you don�t want to go crazy. Anyway in the afternoon I went back into the room to drain fluid form a women�s chest (which turned out to be look like pure blood [we got 1.5 litres that day and 4 litres the following day]) and she saw me and was grinning from ear to ear and waving. I guess she was happy, unless it�s a strange Malawi sign for being pissed off. Anyway been in medicine for 6 weeks so may pop my head in surgery next week but the hospital is overrun with medical students who get in the way! Anyway, a weekend off and staying in Lilongwe so hopefully I won�t be boring you guys too soon with probably less than exciting emails.
Later J
WEEK 10
Word peeps,
Been while, spent my 3 week in surgery and now popped to a District Hospital in Mangochi for some reconnaissance. So what has happed:
Had a weekend in Lilongwe for a change which involved me scooting about sorting some things out. The big thing was a African Cultural show at a place called Harry�s bar. Up we trotted to Harry�s bar (after an annoying drop, off, pick up, get lost by Americans going to a film at a posh hotel) and in to sit down at a very quiet, empty place. While sucking on a green I piped up, �do you think the Afican Show was actually next door at that theatre with music blaring out, a queue and a guy collecting entrance fees?� Low and behold I was right and we went next door to see the Zambian Exile and Malawi Lucias Banda. An interesting bland of the local hip-hop and hip-hop and a long impressive night with an interruption of a bit of a ridiculous auction! As The headliner finished one would assume the night would end but not in Africa. This is now a chance for anyone from the crowd who thinks themself a bit of a dance (which is most of Africa) to get on the stage and have a whole song dedicated to their dancing. After a few hours Lucias came back to encore his 2 songs, but this was our time to leave.
I went a long to surgery the next day and the Urologist asked me who I was and if I was free then whipped me into surgery to drain a load of scrotums (or is it scroti?). I suppose the highlight for me (not the patient) was when we were planning to dilate a urethral stricture and the anesthetist told us to go ahead. We passed a 3.5mm steel rod down the patients bell end and the guys knees shot up and the anesthetist said, �Sorry, I�ll give some anesthesia now!� Poor fellow. Interesting being in surgery with the lack of resources. They have everything they need but I mean little things like, why waste money on sterile towels when you can dry your hands on the bottom of your gown? Through the week was an eye-opener, or rather a nose opener, to the foul smells of infected burns, tumours and people! Saw a scene from a zombie film where a lady who had been in a road traffic accident had her dressing removed and the wound drain had not been secured so came out with. This left basically a patient with a hole in her head with pus oozing down her face to which the doctor said, �Good, we can squeeze that out�. I had my first run in with Dr Ivan, the brash Russian surgeon who seems to angrily shout about everything but supplies all the staff wit sweets, for not getting the perfect combination of antibiotics for a burns patient right!
That weekend I took a short last minute trip to Senga Bay and stayed at the over priced (but negotiated down to reasonable) Tom�s bar. Then walked to the world acclaimed Cool Runnings that in reality was pretty poor, and pretty expensive. On the way back in the dark we had a casualty as one of the other students went over her ankle. Not sure how much damage was done considering there was no swelling and she could trot about happily the following after noon, but anyway muggings here was required to carry her to 1km back to Tom�s. The next day, we headed the opposite way from the nasty ankle-breaking rocks. Stopping for food at the first place, a white man called Bob appeared desperate for some company. He told us he was staying at The Carolina Lodge. We trotted along and bumped into a group of Baylor people from the hospital in Lilongwe and sat about with them and had dinner in the evening followed by a pretty poor bonfire. There was a bit of a tete-a-tete between me and the American Footballer from Baylor but I think I won by after every justification of why Yank footie is tougher I said, �We do the same in rugby just without pads!� It turned out the owner of the place was Sri Lankan so I hit him with my best Sinhala and he was so impressed he invited me round for breakfast (lovely Kiri Bath and fish curry) and gave us a lift to the place to get the bus home.
More surgery the next week. Monday, in with Dr Maher who made me do 3 circumcision and chop a bollock off. Tuesday another round of fowl smells following a talk by Dr Ivan where I correctly spoke of the Babinski reflex. Wednesday was looking like a quite day in theatre till Dr Ivan ran in saying �You, Dr Jamie, you know things come, drain abscess.� I was quickly tested on my leg vasculature (which I think I got right) and he said�Yes, you know things, you know Babinski, I remember� and proceeded to let me train a massive abscess from a guy�s thigh. This was followed by me and the reg (who desided to squirt breast milk at me) draining a breast abscess. Then Dr Ivan and me stitching up the head of a lady who�d been in a minibus crash! A few well earned sweets and half a sausage and the end of a lovely day!
Took that weekend to head up north Lakeside with the plan of seeing Livingstonia mission. Was a longish trip to Mzuzu which seemed lovely in the 5 minutes I spent there. I did manage to get a Stagecoach bus for the second leg to Chitmibi. Lovely hills with hairpin bends and the excitement of the bus braking down. This gave Merence and me the opportunity to pose for a pic with a lovely view behind us. Back on the bus and I asked a chappy what had happened. He replied, �Very dangerous. No breaks!� just as we carreared it round the corner to see a two carriaged lorry coupt over the verge! We made it in one piece but too late to trek up to the Mushroom farm so the shorter walk to Chitimbi beach camp. Quite surreal because in the early evening light we were set upon by a troop of small infants all wanting lifted and thrown in the air. Made it to the beach camp in one piece tho. No hike up the Livingstonia as one of the group had taken ill so a lazy day at the windy beach. Met a Zimbabwian father and son who were running a coal mine nearby sop we went for a little visit, and learned about some of white Africa�s less political correct views. The sick party member managed to get a lift back to Lilongwe leaving 2 of us for the trip up the hill the following day. The walk was wonderfull, scaling up stream made shortcuts, and the surreal Mushroom farm with cliff face campsites and stunning views of mountain, valley and lake. Also an interesting bunch went through over the weekend, some germans, and South African trying to buy land, a sick Romanian, two French (one of which spoke English like the Roedy from Waynes World II) and three Italians on motor bikes razzing about Africa and riding ostrich (one had decided he wants to start an import business of ostrich to Italy. Near by there was a beautiful waterfall called Mawenge falls (I think) which had a cool wee cave behind where the people used to hide20from the slave traders. Livingstonia was nice and New Lanarkesque, with a Uni, a stone house and a church. The only down thing about the place is that the kids have been taught to run about saying �give me money�, �give me pen�, �give me tinted� kind of spoils the happy face dunnit?
Back to Lilongwe for my last week of surgery which was suitably dynamic with Dr Ivan singing my praises when he can and testing my anatomy as we repaired and inguinal hernia. Also went to another KCN cultural night which was basically like a school disco and a bit of a cock-fest with over-selous boys gyrating close to you. I suppose the highlight was when my fiend Philip said to one of the girls, �Louise you have a beautiful� (eyeing her torso as she sat down [also bare in mind most African men make no bones about trying to get into the pants of every girl they talk to, and come out with some blatantly graphic suggestions])�handbag. Can I try it?� He then modelled her bag for a wee while.
Now I�m at Mangochi District Hospital for a week, which is meant to the hottest part of Malawi. Lets see how it goes�.
Jamie
WEEK 11
Word Peeps,
Did you think you would be getting an update so soon? Did you wish I would keep to my 3 weekly emails? Anyway I'm sitting idleso thought I could update you on my week in Mangochi (the hottest part of Malawi).
Well I organised this little trip thought Andrew (the person who's house I live in in Lilongwe) so the standar College of Medicine fee of $50 got waved. The place was empty of Malwi students but there were 3 Dutch (from Groningen) and 1 English (Britsol) girls on electives and then 3 German Midwife students so still a pretty busy place. I went in the first day for a LONG boring, pointless handover (true Malawi style) then hit the male medical ward with a Congolese doctor. Some pretty interesting stuff, but I suppose the main attraction was Fournier's gangrene in 70 year-old. It's basicially a cock and ball eating infection! Anyway this guy noticed his willy was slowly decaying some time ago but didn't think he would be taken seriously or as an emergency it the health centre and sat on it. He arrived to us with huge, stinking, decaying nuts and all that can really be done is to chop them off. A shome on the man. Another highlight was when a wee guy brought in buy the police was pretending to be in a coma. We tried to rouse him but he was not reacting at all (which meant he wasn't in a coma) so the doctor proceeded to slap him round the face and give him nipple-cripples shouting 'your not asleep! speak to me so I know what's wrong with you' he finally opened his eyes and we deduced there was no real pathology other than previous 'mob justice' missing digits! Unfortunatly I didn't see the next incident but one of the other students dropped her phone into a bucket full of placentae. Lovely! I went on an out reach clinic where a team of District Hospital staff visit the local health centres. UNfortunatly the first two stops (1.5 hours away) had no patients. Apparently the Christian health centres here charge patients so when the Disticts come round and offer free treatment they don't tell the patients because they'll be losing income. At the last place there were two patients one had a non-healing burn on half her face and had had her nose grafted over her eye (gruesomely delicious) and the second had had a half a paralysed face for a year and decided to come in now because his eyelid was twitching! That pretty much sums up the the medical week! Other interesting moments was hearing Dr Julie (from the Democratic Republic of Congo) how much she hates America and blames them for pretty much all the wars in Africa and also finding a file full of pornography sitting on the desktop while I was waiting for an email to load.
Since I was in Mangochi and just a stones throw from Cape Maclear (what is supposed to be one of the must sees of Malawi). Anyway there's a brand new road being built between Mangochi and Monkey Bay (the drop-off for Cape McClear) and Malawi seems so proud of this road the bus drives along in the ditch either side so the beautiful new road can be seen at eye level. Cape Maclear was nice enough, dotted beach resorts. Relaxing weekend involveing an attempted duck abduction.
Should be popping off tomorrow to an Island so fingers cross that all works,
J
WEEK 13
These updates are getting closer but are they getting shorter? Read on to find out......
Well after having been here 2 and a half months and no official holiday since round about last Christmas I thought I deserved some time off so headed to a little island owned by Malawi but in Mozambique waters. Heading off to the closest ferry port, Chipoka, in good time I arrived an hour or 2 before the departure not knowing the ferry would be 7 hours late. Apparently what happened was they crew realised just as they were going to leave the first place that there was no petrol thus someone had to drive 3 hours away and 3 hours back to get some. The day wasn�t completely lost as I sat and spoke with a fisherman who had recently moved from Cape Maclear about the world, where different countries are, why I have white skin, whether he would get white skin if he moved to Scotland and just general important life issues. This guy actually re-kindled my view that there are still decent people in Africa. After a day of chatting where he missed getting on his fishing boat to head out for the fish and having shown me to the port etc. I was expecting the usual, can you give me money, or an MP3 player or a camera or anything on my person that most local assume white people own so they can give away to people because we just like spending money on things especially more than things actualy cost! Well this guy asked for nothing! It was a truly lovely exchange of culture purely for friendship. Anyway, I�m starting to sound a bit gay so I�ll move on to the boat. To get to the Islands you have to jump on the Ilala ferry, a throwback from the Scottish times but it�s chugging along slowly up and down the lake stopping in Mozambique and Malawi. The journey to Chizumulu took 29 hours which meant 2 nights sleeping out on the top deck in the blustery wind on hard wooden rafts (the 5 available mattresses weren�t enough for the whole boat). This did mean I was able to see some lovely sunrises and sunsets over the lake, possibly the best yet. That was about all there was but I suppose the highlight was arriving in the first Mozambiquian port where about 30 people stormed the top deck ran up all bought a beer or a coke and a packet of crisps charged up and down the deck for 45 min then all got on a dingy, cheered and left! The boat arrived at Chizumulu the 5km squared island in the early hours of the morning and the one place sent a boat out to pick up anyone who wanted to stay.
The Wakwenda Retreat was a gorgeously well build place with a tremendous bar that had look-out points for both sunrise and sunset and a slide to get in the water. On the first day there was apparently a international dance festival going on so I stomped over and had a we gander at the not overly elaborate but somewhat absorbing dances. Unfortunately I also fell asleep on a table and pretty much burned my tan off oops (you all know my excuse for being whiter than white when I return). The next day, feeling I couldn�t relax without doing any exercise, a group of us decided to take a couple of wee boats round the island paddling with the traditional single ended paddles. This was lovely and pretty uneventful till the last bend where the wind decided to blow one way, the undercurrent the opposite and unfortunate we needed to go a third way. We managed to land the boats and carry them back to the place, lucky for us all the children on the island decided to help us take the two boats home! That evening we were needing to all jump on the Ilala on its way back down the lake. Unsure how much time it would have made up the manager of the resort said he�d wake us when it arrived and at 01.30 he got us all up to say, �The boat is here but no one can get on. The president is using it!� What had happened was that the President had commandeered the ferry to transport all his men and cars to the other Island where he was flying to make a speech for apparently no real reason. This meant everyone had to wait where they were for an extra 2 days, and also all those people who were =0D on the boat had to get off at Nkata Bay and wait. I mean this is all annoying for me having to spend an extra 2 days on a paradise island but I mean it�s a bit rough for the poor Malawians who had enough money to get home but have just told they have to produce extra money to eat and stay someone where for 2 days. Not really possible. I had a wee chat with the Malawian manager of the place (who is your typical lackadaisical Malawi) about the political situation here and he got quite irate at the amount of money wasted by politicians to make speeches and get themselves cars when people are dying and not benefiting from any of it. He said what is more annoying is that most of the locals lap it up, you know they vote for the person with the nicest car and who does a speech in their village and propaganda rather than real issues. In summery he concluded that Malawians were to stupid for multi-party politics and they needed a dictator like Banda who actually made good changes in the country. I asked if he would not be worried that Banda would turn into a Mugabe (the basic opinion of Mugabe from most Africans I�ve met is they have the upmost respect for him as they say he achieved a lot and did great good for Zimbabwe, but that he�s passed it now and needs to realise that) and he joked, �Banda is too old to turn into Mugabe.�
Anyway we finally got away 2 days late which meant a slight change in travel plans and a hop off the ferry 19 hours later at Nkotakota where the dingy couldn�t quite get up onto the beach and a friendly local offered to take me in his boat the 1 metre for 200 kwacha. I politely declined and jumped into the water up to my knees and took the one step onto dry land. The place in Nkotokota was alright but had the friendliest most accommodating staff! Very conscious about letting us know local prices and not letting us get ripped off and the food was pretty good and restaurantie (most places is more home cooking which means bloody carrots get everywhere!). Also bought a Bowe (however you spell it) board and learned how to play it with the staff. The next day bicycle taxis had been organised and cycled us the 4 km to the tarmac where I could get the bus. The cyclist (as warned) tried to charge 3 times the price but not me! Getting change however was more difficult as all the shops were closed as there was a funeral on. We finally got change at a tea stall and I bought the cyclist a cup of the sugared water they call tea. Waited for the bus at the top of the road clowning about with the kids. One came heading down to Salima. As I anticipated since there was a big festival near by fleece central for the whities. There�s not much you can do because we always have money, there is no concept of budgeting and the spend every penny they have as soon as they get it (in a sort of 5 year-old mentality, but usually on alcohol) so they won�t understand that we can�t spend our whole wallet on something because we need to keep the money. They always ask, �How much can you give?� and you want to say. �I can give the actual price, stop over charging me!� Anyway I got to the festival for slightly more than I should have been. The festival was alright thousands of white people and hundreds of black people (all with the drinking mentality of a 15year-old), good background music played by the DJ but no act really spectacular, there was a percussion band though where and old guy pulled a string through a drum-skin and made the sound of a Bo-selecta boob. Anyway, that�s about it. Got back to Lilongwe and it�s back to the same shit, different day dramas of the capital.
JB