| Saturday, September 25th 2004 Waterville Vermont The fight for a free Tibet finally reached the shallow cow-filled valleys of Johnson Vermont last week with a visit from a group of monks eager to perform musical hosiery and visual arts in the form of a Mandala for scores of well-marbled Caucasian patrons seeking self actualization through �color-and-smell� spirituality. This marks the second visit to Johnson State College in as many years, and also the second time northern Vermonters were able to enjoy the spectacle of a Buddhist monk using a cellphone, presumably to �ask the spirits of this space for permission to build the Mandala�. The use of modern technology became necessary when the trumpeting of five foot long bronze horns and overlapping guttural moaning failed to evoke the proper action potential of ver mon� shades and specters. Luckily for the monks, the call counts as a wireless to wireless call and will result in a minimal placement charge. Few of those involved were willing to speak on this matter, though one may infer that the sheer diversity of spirits (including Daemons, Phantasms, Revenants, and the very rare yet fancifully shrouded Eidolon) led to a simple lack of communication over use of the space, despite a clear schedule having been displayed on the Student Government Association whiteboard. �The advent of the cell phone has made �space cleansing� a much less painful task on both ends� acknowledged the Wraith �who dwells beneath the bridge of shadow and truth�. Though the other spirits and the monks themselves refused to comment further, the completion of the Mandala no less than four days later is evident of the successful appropriation of spiritual space. The spirits have waited patiently outside in the interim, their general attitude summed up by a local �Pantry Spook�: �We have no problem with horns and sand and culture, but if we hear the song �40 ounce to freedom� pumping out of some sticky corner of campus just one more time we�re going to haunt the shit out of this place�. |
| Monk-C Monk-Du |