| Baghdad (May 19th 2004) Jesse Grant AP Under the backdrop of the quagmire that has persisted past the announcement of success for operation freedom, a string of mediated war atrocities has surfaced leaving millions across the globe shocked and titillated. Though many experts attribute such happenings to a game of general one-ups-manship (in reference to Al-Queda's beheading of an American contractor), I talked with one man who seemed to have special insight into this theory: Harry S. Truman "What we have here is less a battle of the ethics of terror, but a mutual front of mediation" explained the former president. Truman went on to point out that with each successive atrocity, we see an inflation in the technology and quality of it's medium. "There was a time when all we were receiving was garbled audio tape and the occasional snapshot. Suddenly America's television screens were filled with digital quality photographs of Iraqi prisoners receiving physical and psychological torture from hicks. Of course this was retaliated by the beheading of an American civilian with pixel based video and quadraphonic sound. As we stand now I believe we are safe to conclude a medium race between coalition forces and the rebel scourge." At press time Al-Queda had announced plans to release an HDTV quality video of Caucasian infants being fed ice cold milk, thereby disrupting their digestive system. Rumors have spread of an American firm's three dimensional hologram of forced sodomy with a tubor or other "rooty vegetable" but has yet to be confirmed. As Mr. Truman put it "this trend, though not without it's dangers, will do wonderous things to the way we purchase and use our media." This reporter can only hope that the people over at TIVO are listening. |
| What Next, Lazerdisc? |