toptenlists

Annie's
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Doing an Essay
All hail the queen of procrastination!

10. Bake. Take that anyway you like.
9. Clean your room. Mess it up. Repeat.
8. Have sex. A.S.A.P.
7. Go to Helen's room. Eat her food. Stay for hours. Bug Derek.
6. Claim you forget how to write an essay.
5. Threaten suicide.
4. Induce vomiting. Seriously, it works.
3. Write anything BUT your essay.
2. Eat, eat, eat. Hey, Falafel Hut Village is open until four!
1. Sleep. Please, like you don't do it.

Donny's
Top Ten Things Guys Don't Want to Hear During Sex
We're pretending we never said any of these, ever.

10. 'Ouch!'
9. 'Don't forget, mom said to take out the trash!'
8. 'Wrong hole, shithead!'
7. 'Hurry up, before the cops get here!'
6. 'What, no foreplay?!'
5. 'Son, dinner's ready!'
4. 'Isn't it supposed to get bigger?'
3. 'You're much better than the guy I had ten minutes ago.'
2. 'Tell me when you're hard, okay?'
1. 'I don't even miss having a penis.'

Kerry's
Top Ten Places to Smoke Up at York
Not.that.any.of.us.ever.smoke.up.

10. Tunnels (only when it's really cold)
9. Standing in the middle of any field (only when you're really desperate)
8. The Woodlot
7. Stong Pond
6. Cubicles/stairwell in Vanier College basement
5. Outside-but-Inside
4. Vanier Hill
3. The Wormhole
2. Scott Religious Centre, a.k.a. The Mushroom House
1. My room

Indiana Dan's
Top Ten Phrases
I kid you not. These are all familiar.

10. Purity of essence, and purity of form.
9. Be careful- there are bears outside!
8. If not now, when? If not here, where? If not us, who?
7. It doesn't take a genius to know that evil is bad. . .and that good isn't. (spoon?)
6. Too often, dim-witted silence is mistaken for a pleasant personality.
5. Go ahead and cover the REAL you, in a foreskin of sexual desire.
Yes, inner beauty WILL shine through.
So will inner ugly.
4. Oh, you're from Canada? Do you know Helen?
3. At what point will you decide you want it more than you fear it?
2. I'm not saying that you're boring- just everything you talk abuot is.
1. Do not be careless with someone else's heart, and do not tolerate anyone who is carelsss with yours.
(and because he's one of my best friends, he gets an extra)
1 and a half. No matter what you do, you will never outsmart the squirrels.

Denise's
Top Ten Ways to Know If You're From Scarborough
Helen laughs. Denise is ghetto.

10. You turn on the news and see a SWAT team in front of your house on the screen.
9. 'Narcotics' is one of the four food groups.
8. You tell people where you're from to strike the fear of God in their hearts.
7. Your family dinners take place at Johnny's Hamburgers.
6. The bars on the windows are painted to match the garage door.
5. You actually know where you can BUY acid-washed jeans. . .new.
4. Mom carries all the essentials in her purse- her wallet, license, lipstick and mase.
3. You use a money clip for more than just money...where else are you gonna keep your extra McD's napkins?
2. Your brother calls your dad 'Big D'.
1. You find you just can't sleep at night until you hear the sirens wailing.

Helen's
Top Ten Favourite 80's Bands
yah, I like the eighties, okay?

10. Frankie Goes to Hollywood
9. Romeo Void (not a band, but faggy)
8. Duran Duran
7. Depeche Mode
6. Devo
5. Modern English
4. Culture Club
3. Erasure
2. The Icicle Works
1. New Order