Author: Jenna
Rated: G
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone depicted in this story.
Description: There are decisions and there are choices
Notes: This story was the product of a challenge. I asked a lot of my LJ friends to submit five random words so I could put them into a fic. The following words are product of Kragey and are underlined in the fic: scribed | daylight | hourglass | ribbon | circles
>>>>> Complete
�Sonofabitch�� I muttered, pausing momentarily to grab my toe and rub it roughly, trying to make the pounding pain dissipate.
Once it more or less had subsided, I continued my stumbling through the dark, and located the room I was looking for.
I slid in softly, and crept over to the crib in the middle of the room. I looked down into the ornately carved wooden bed that held my tiny little baby girl.
I reached out a tentative hand and ran a calloused fingertip across my daughter�s soft, untouched hand. She flinched at my touch and I withdrew my hand nervously.
When she didn�t wake, I let my index finger slid into her tiny little fist, and her grip clamped down on my finger, almost as if she knew it was me.
She�s the most exquisite thing I�ve ever seen, I mentally scribed in my head as I watched her sleep, her eyes shut tightly, pale eyelashes resting languidly on soft blushy cheeks.
Her tiny little 4-week-old body was covered with a pink blanket, but it did nothing to hide just how little her frame was. She was petite, like a delicate porcelain doll, with the slightest wisp of blonde hair, grey eyes and a little button nose. She fit comfortably in my arms, and I was constantly scared I�d break her, or harm her. But when she was in my arms, I could do nothing but stare at her, to watch this miracle unfold right before my eyes.
I pulled my finger from her grip and pulled the plush white armchair over beside her crib and sat down.
I pulled the blanket up around Olivia�s face and settled into the chair to watch my daughter sleep.
It certainly hasn�t been easy having you, Livvie, I thought to myself as I leant forward, resting my arms on the side of the crib. But I wouldn�t trade you for anything. Not for your mom to come back, not for a billion dollars. Not if I had to give up everything I have. You�re my reason.
I lay my head down on the cool wood and felt my eyes close. I slid into sleep quickly, my chest rising and falling with each blessed breath that I took.
I must�ve been out for a while, because when I woke up, the daylight peaked in through Olivia�s soft pink curtains, and was shining right in my eyes.
I sat up and stretched my arms over my head and looked at the Winnie The Pooh clock hanging on the wall.
5:19am.
I yawned and stood up, cracking my back with a satisfying groan.
I looked down at my daughter, still sleeping peacefully under her little blanket, and I smiled to myself before I stumbled out into the hall, and made my way into the kitchen for a strong cup of coffee.
I grabbed a t-shirt from the clean laundry basket on the floor of the kitchen and pulled it on, noticing it was my �Spaghetti shirt�. Elijah had affectionately dubbed the old white Black Sabbath t-shirt that after I�d spilled so many spaghetti meals on it. The name had stuck ever since.
I grabbed my hourglass that sat on the top of the counter and flipped it upside down. The sand began to fall and I watched as it did. The sand would all have fallen to the bottom of the glass in 15 minutes, precisely the amount of time before I expected Olivia would wake and want her breakfast.
I ran my fingers through my messy hair as the kettle boiled, and I fixed myself a cup of coffee.
I sat down at my breakfast table and sipped my coffee gratefully, feeling the caffeine flow through my veins like blood.
I downed the cup quickly, surprised to find that there still remained an inch of sand in the hourglass.
I took the extra time as an advantage and began to fold the clean washing, pausing only momentarily to sniff the tiny baby clothes, fresh from the laundry and smelling of pure heaven.
A sound of strangled baby cries floated out from the back bedroom, and my eyes drifted to the hourglass.
Right on time, I smiled to myself as the last grains of sands fell.
I made my way back into Olivia�s room, where she lay on her back, crying.
�Hey beautiful,� I said softly, leaning into the crib and picking her up gently. Her cries subsided as I cradled her against my chest.
Her grey eyes stared up at me as I walked back out into the kitchen, where I prepared her bottle of formula.
I pulled open the kitchen curtains and fixed them back with a ribbon and let the dawning of a beautiful New Zealand day float in through the windows.
�Now,� I said, partly to Olivia, partly to myself. �We have a check-up with Dr. Harding, and then we�re going to see Uncle Peter and Aunt Franny, then Uncle Elijah is coming over tonight for dinner.�
The microwave beeped and I fetched the bottle from it, and fed it to my little bundle, who sucked enthusiastically on the teat.
I stifled another yawn as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, feeding Olivia, who suddenly seemed wide-awake.
I swayed lightly from side to side, my body falling into a natural rhythm I picked up the day my little girl was born. Side to side, in an e asy, flowing repetition.
I didn�t hear the footsteps as they walked into the kitchen, I only felt the arms lock around my waist, and the long fingers trace circles on my stomach.
�Good morning,� I greeted. �We didn�t wake you, did we?�
The person let go and I turned around.
�Not at all,� Billy said. �Plus, you know how much I love to watch you with her in the morning.�
I smiled and watched my lover prepare his coffee.
�Where did you escape to last night, anyway?� he asked me, pouring hot water into his mug.
�Where do you think?� I asked, sheepishly looking down at the hungry baby in my arms.
�Am I gonna have to make you choose between us?� Billy teased in his thick Scottish accent.
I shook my head. �No, you�re not. I won�t have to choose between you and anyone else ever again.�
Billy took a sip of his coffee. �You�re a natural with her.�
I shrugged. �I try my hardest. I have to be the mom and the dad since Lisa took off.�
Billy opened his mouth to reply as Olivia let out a loud cry that startled me.
�Ok baby girl,� I said softly, depositing the spent bottle in the sink. �Let�s get you dressed.�
I threw Billy a smile as I grabbed some clothes from the folded laundry and went back into the nursery.
�You light up my life�� I hummed softly as I discarded Olivia�s pyjamas, and dressed her in a yellow jumpsuit, with daisies on the front. �There you go princess.�
I stooped to pick her up when I was stopped by a hand on my back.
I turned around and looked at Billy.
�Can I help you?� I teased.
�I�m proud of you,� he said softly. �I mean�you just love her so much.�
I smiled. �Billy.� The word came out breathily, like a lyric to a song. �You and Olivia are my life.�
�I know, I just�if it weren�t for me, maybe��
I shook my head. �If I hadn�t been gay, maybe Lisa would still be here, and we�d be a normal family. But the fact is, I am. And I love you, and I have this baby, who I hope you can love like your own. Don�t live in the past. Live for now, live for the future. Live for 18 years from now when Olivia resents us and our parenting skills and joins a cult, dyes her hair black and gets a nose piercing.�
Billy smiled and stroked my face lovingly. �How did I get so lucky?�
I grinned. �I was thinking that same thing.�
He leaned forward against my body and kissed my chest through my shirt. �Dominic Monaghan, I love you.�
