Category: RPS
Author: Puddle
Pairing: Monaboyd
Rating: PG
Summary: Planting trees in the rain...
>>>>> Complete
Billy just stepped up like he owned the place, wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck and kissed me. Then he stepped back, smiled, and went to grab us a dibble-bar.
There was no context. There was no explanation. There was no tongue. And Billy has a girlfriend. Thus, you see my dilemma: there is no way to know what the fuck Billy has just tried to convey. Was it friendly? Was it not? Was it just screwing with my head? Was it an hallucination?
And here he is again, smiling that sunny smile of his, acting perfectly normal, resting a slight bit on the dibble-bar and listening to the tree-planting leader guy tell the beginners how to plant.
I think it might well have been an hallucination.
Fuck, I should have worked harder on getting Elijah to come with us. I wonder if the girl next to me would tell me what just happened if I asked her. She may think I�m coming on to her, however, and we don�t want that. She smells like soggy grocery bags.
Am I supposed to hold his hand, now? What the fuck are you thinking, Bill? If I scream at you loudly enough in my head, will you be able to hear me? Billy? I want you to look at me so I know you�re listening. Turn your head on three, alright? One. Two. � Three!
He�s not looking.
Fuck, Bill.
� Okay, now he�s looking at me. Smiling at me, in fact. And what am I doing? I�m squinting to make sure I don�t hallucinate; is this really Billy? But there it goes�now he�s watching the man again (Tom, I think), and I am so glad I already know how to plant trees because if I didn�t, I�d look like a world-class idiot as soon as we hit the field.
Well. No use drowning in my confusion. I stuff it down like a dirty rolled-up sock, then, at the appropriate moment, I say evenly, �So you want to be tree-planting partners, then?�
Yes. Evenly. Except for the voice crack.
And for Billy replying, �We already agreed on that, I thought,� with actual evenness.
� Yeah. I�ve no idea what the fuck he�s talking about. Must be hallucinating worse than I thought. �Just double-checking.� And now I do look like a world-class idiot.
�Dom? You want to grab a tree-sack, there?�
Billy, you are such a dick. Making me question my sanity� ��Course.�
�Are you feeling alright?�
I bend over, making sure to aim my ass in his direction, and pick up a large bag of saplings. �Peachy.�
He�s not even staring at me when I stand back up! Do I have something embarrassing on my bum? Gotta check that, but not look too stupid in the process� Ah. No. My ass is clean and just as grabbable as always.
�Dom, you�re staring at your bum.�
�Well, it�s better than staring at your ugly mug.� I know; I can pinch his cheek. Maybe that�ll put him off-kilter.
But no. All he does is grin some more like he�s got a secret. A really fucking good one.
We walk over to our own field, which, by the by, is an impressive fifty-by-sixty yard plot of nice flat grassy terrain, all for us two. Can�t remember what Tom said the spacing should be. Fuck. Billy will know. �Did you catch what the spacing was?�
�Five-hundred and twelve.�
The fuck?
�Are you sure you�re alright, Dom?�
�Yeah, I�m fantastic,� you fucking wanker, �just� five-hundred and twelve what, inches?�
Great, Bill, just go ahead and look at me like I�ve grown breasts, then. �I was joking.�
Oh.
�It�s actually six paces.�
Right. �Well let�s get started, then. You want to plant or dig?�
�You already said you wanted to dig! That�s why you sent me to get a dibble-bar!�
A rather fierce wind picks up; the sky is really gray. Hm. Smells like rain. This should be quite interesting. It�s already below sixty degrees and I�ve got goosebumps.
Bill pushes the dibble-bar into my hand and takes the sack from off my shoulder. So. Did you kiss me back there? Come on, Dom, ask him. Ask. Do it do it do it do it, did you kiss me back there, did you kiss me back there, did you kiss me back there. �Bill, did you��
�Yes?� People don�t really prompt you to continue unless it�s a novel or a movie or a situation in which they can tell you are really having like, immense troubles with the English language. Fuck it for sticking to my throat. Why do I feel like I swallowed an entire jar of peanut butter?
�Did you grab anything to drink?� Milk would be good, but I�d prefer something stronger. Everclear, perhaps?
At this point, it begins to pour. Alas, poor me, wearing simple jeans and a tee-shirt and with no grasp of reality. Billy looks up at the sky, then at me with that mother hen expression; he steps up and feels my forehead.
Did you kiss me, did you kiss me, did you kiss me, did you kiss me. Well? Did you? �I told you, Bill, I�m perfectly healthy.�
�You�re flushed, and you�re shivering, and your brain is obviously not functioning on normal levels.� Fuck, he�s checking my pulse� �Jesus Christ, Dom, what the hell is wrong with you?�
Did you did you did you did you? �Did you.� Swallow. Fucking phantom peanut butter! �Um. Like. Kiss me. Back there?� Oh, shit, I jump, �cause there goes a bolt of thunder!
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. He�s still looking at me like I�ve grown breasts. Stupid stupid stupid. Hey, look, the ground is quite intriguing at this time of day, innit? With the rain falling on it, and the� grass�
�Of course I did, you idiot! Is that what�s been bothering you?�
Ha. Um. What? �Y� yeah?�
�Oh. � I�m sorry, Dom, I won�t do it again. Why don�t you dig me a hole, then?�
What?
Oh. With the dibble-bar, for a sapling. Shouldn�t act so suicidal, Bill, it�s� huh. �You won�t do it again?�
�No, I promise. Let�s start right here, and quick, now, before the rain gets worse.�
Ha-ha! Now who�s the idiot, Boyd? �Why aren�t you going to do it again?�
�Kiss you?�
�Yes. Kiss me.� I am a sex god, after all, and you know you can�t resist.
�You don�t want me to.�
�Please, Bill.�
�Please what?�
You are blushing, aren�t you? �Nothing.�
Swear to god, I can hear the sound of his jaw dropping when I turn around and dig a hole. I wait for a sec, then slyly look over at him out of the corner of my eye.
He practically squirms over to me and kneels on the ground with a sapling, sticks it in and we pack the soil down around it. When he hoists the sack back up he looks like Johnny Appleseed, especially with his rosy cheeks. I grin at him and wink, and isn�t it fun to be in your position, Billy?
Six paces up and I jam another hole into the dirt and Bill drops another tree in. �Dom?�
Just finish cramming down the soil (mud), then we stand. �Yyyyeeeessss?�
�What� em.�
You so fucking deserve this. I have no sympathy for you. �Cat got your tongue?� If I step up real close to you I bet you�ll be able to speak even less coherently! Let�s try, shall we?
�Em. � Em?�
Score one for Dom. �What�s that, Bill? Are you sure you�re feeling alright?�
It sort of tickles when he looks at my collarbone so intensely. Although, that could just be the rain, but it gets worse when Bill says, �What the fuck is going on?�
That about sums it up, then, doesn�t it? �What do you think is going on?� Being cheeky is such a great defense mechanism sometimes. Plus, it works extra well when in extremely close proximity to the victim.
�Em.�
�I�m cold, Bill.� I would like to hug you, Bill. S�pose I don�t even need an excuse, eh? I wrap my arms around him, nice and tight, dropping the dibble-bar to the ground.
�Em.�
�Hug me. Your arms��round me.�
�Right.� So he does. Good boy. That�s my Billy. �Dom?�
�Hm?� Wonder how fast his black little heart is beating right now. Perhaps if I squeeze him harder I�ll be able to feel it�
Billy jerks back in a very exploding way and�what the fuck?�uses some of those fancy martial arts moves on me (the ones I really, really need to learn), but it�s quite fast and before I can make any sort of retaliatory effort on the part of my manhood, he�s pinned me to the ground. I mean, full body captivity�his hands are holding my wrists down and he�s straddling my stomach, and god damnit, is it ever cold down here.
Going to pretend I did not just make a slightly whimpery-sounding noise. I can still have the mental upper hand, even if Bill�s got the physical one. �We�re on the ground,� I tell him. It�s true.
�Yes, Dom, we are quite on the ground. Would you like to tell me something before I get off?�
�No, I�ll just wait for you to stand up, thanks.�
�I�m not moving until you talk.�
You keep walking right into them, Bill! �Well, lucky you�I am talking! Right now, I still am. I could waffle on all day.�
�Dominic.�
Uh oh.
�You either want me to kiss you again, or you want me to never mention it again. If you don�t tell me which one you want right now, I will�I don�t�you�ll just have to��
�I�ll just have to what, Bill?�
As if he isn�t frazzled enough already, this great loud thunderbolt just rips his entire composure to shreds for a few seconds, and you wouldn�t believe how hard he pushes my wrists into the ground. Then, eyes closed and licking his lips: �Just. Answer.�
Fine. Ruin all the fun, why don�t you. �Why didn�t you just ask me that in the first place? Honestly, Bill��
�Dom.�
�I want you to kiss me again.�
Oh, yes! His grip has slackened! I buck up and unbalance him, then roll him onto the ground and hold his hands against the grass. Sit on his stomach. It�s a nice place to be. I could get used to this. �You know, Bill, I thought you had a girlfriend. And yet here you are, offering to have a snog with another potential partner? Is this serious, or do you just want to see what it�s like to kiss me once? Are you having relationship problems?� And I throw in a little dramatic lean-down-closer. �Are you reconsidering your heterosexuality or lack thereof?�
It�s cute how dignified he thinks he is. Especially with the way he keeps having to blink away the rain in his eyes. �I don�t have a girlfriend right now; weren�t you listening before I kissed you?�
Of course not, I could fucking smell your breath!
In the words of Elwood: Aw, shit. My concentration lapses and Billy throws me off and this time, neither of us can get the upper hand and we keep rolling and pushing and shoving and kicking and�
Biting�
And�
Biting�
That is. He�s. Biting my fucking neck tendon. So after that of course he winds up on top of me again. You�re so smug, aren�t you, Bill? You gave me a hickey, didn�t you? Didn�t you?
�How�s your heterosexuality doing, Dom?�
Oh, no you don�t. �I asked you first.�
�I�m sitting on top of you.� Yes. Yes, you are.
�I�m stronger than you.�
�I�m quicker than you.�
�I�m smarter than you.�
�Like hell you are.�
�I win!� �Cept this time when I try to buck him off, he won�t budge. But that�s alright, my mind-work will prevail.
�Listen, Dom.� He bends forward over me, dangling the threat of a kiss like the way you give a donkey a carrot tied to a stick and hang it right in front of his face so he can never reach it. And wouldn�t you know it: I could really go for a carrot right about now. �If I kissed you once,� and his voice is all smooth-like, �right now, how many times would you kiss me back?�
Must� use� mind-work� �Oh, you know. Quite a few times, I should think.�
Fuck it all. Must everything be competitive? Just because Billy�s a guy doesn�t mean I can�t go mushy on him, right? So I try again and say, �Like, at least a hundred.�
The rain stops, and that�s nice, not having to squint anymore. Not having to squint equals better vision, and better vision equals a very complicated facial expression courtesy of the Billy Boy. He sniff�sniffle�sucks up some air with his nose, you know, whatever that�s called when you do that and it�s completely unrelated to crying or sinus congestion. �Pretend like you have unlimited chances to kiss me. Pretend there�s a Kiss Billy for Five Cents Booth, and you get a free pass that never expires. Then how many times would you kiss me?�
�I don�t know if I can answer that.� Aw, Jesus, Bill, don�t look at me like that, I�m trying to be mushy, I swear! Okay, okay: �I mean. I would kiss you� pretty much constantly. I think my face would be attached to yours permanently, and you�d have to hire a plumber to remove me.�
Thaaaaat�s better. He�s so cute when he�s this happy! Fuck, though, cute is quite a girly� Fuck it. He is fucking cute, and I know it.
�Really?� he asks, and I think he means it.
Silly Billy. �Hell yes. When shall we get started, then?�
He shrugs with his lips and I close my eyes, try not to smile too hard because you can�t kiss teeth�
He gets off. Stands up. Hauls me onto my feet as well and hands me the dibble-bar. �After this.�
Um. Hey� I wanted� But I suppose we have a job to do. A long, boring, snog-less job (nevermind that tree-planting has always been fun in the past).
His eyes focus on something off in the sky, then he grins at me (the Peter Pan smile)��So how is your heterosexuality, Dom?��and points.
There�s a fucking rainbow up there. �Huh� it�s. You know, I think it left a while ago �cuz I fell in love.�
�With me?�
Bill, you cannot just stand there looking that cute and expect me not to do this. But I make sure I�m super fast, and�yes! Am finally kissing him, under a rainbow of all places.
He smiles. �Love you, too.�
