Dom frowned. �What�s what like?�
Elijah shook his head, as if he didn�t understand the question. �You know�it.�
�I have no idea what you�re talking about, Elijah.� He grabbed their CD book and began flipping through it, looking for something to wake him up.
Elijah sat up a little more and looked at Dom. �Yes you do!�
Dom ceased his browsing and looked at Elijah. �Unless you tell me, I don�t.�
A blush rose up in Elijah�s cheeks. �What�s it like being�gay?� He whispered the last word.
Dom burst out into laughter, which made Elijah�s cheeks turn a deeper shade of red.
�What? Stop laughing at me!� he demanded, hurling a pillow at Dom.
Dom�s laughter tapered off, and he set Elijah with a look. �Why on earth would you want to know about that?�
Elijah shrugged. �Don�t know. Just curious, that�s all.�
�You�re curious about my sex life?� Dom asked. �Why, you thinkin� about fuckin� me, Lij?�
The look on Elijah�s face was priceless. His jaw dropped and the colour drained from his face.
Dom chuckled. �Chill out man. I wouldn�t fuck you anyway.�
�Why not?� Elijah demanded.
�Why not what?� Billy mumbled, stumbling into the trailer.
Dom took in his best mate�s appearance. His hair was dishevelled, more so than usual, and dark circles hung under his eyes. He looked like he hadn�t slept in weeks.
�Nothing Bills,� Elijah responded, turning from the pair to begin flipping through a magazine on the counter.
Billy sank down onto the old couch along the wall of the trailer, and let his head fall back against the fabric, his eyes closed.
Dom moved onto the couch beside him, and bumped him with his shoulder.
Billy�s eyes opened in response.
�You ok?�
Billy shrugged. ��Spose so.�
The whole dynamic in the room had seemed to change as soon as Billy arrived. Dom wondered how it was possible to go from talking about his sexual preference, to seeing his best friend so tortured.
�Are you sure?� Dom pressed.
Billy lifted his head. �I didn�t sleep well last night, �s all.�
Dom opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Sean arrived, along with their prosthetics team.
Through the arduous task of feet, ears and wigs, Dom kept his eye on Billy. Watched as he nearly fell asleep while his feet were being glued on, watched as he yawned and rubbed his eyes as the make-up artist fitted his wig. Watched as Hilary, who was trying to fit Billy�s ears on, frowned and told him to sit still.
The Hobbits made their way out into the cold New Zealand morning, and Elijah and Sean scurried off for coffee, but Dom fell into step beside Billy.
�Looking forward to today�s shoot?� he asked softly, rubbing his hands together for warmth, before pulling at his prickly cape.
Billy shrugged. �Guess so.�
Dom frowned. Billy had been looking forward to shooting this sequence (in which Pippin takes a look at the Palantir) ever since he�d read it in the script.
�Bill, I�m worried about you.�
They stopped at the lunch tent and got tall cups full of tea.
�What are you talking about?� Billy enquired, snagging a blueberry muffin as they exited the tent.
�You seem so off. So tired.�
�This is all tiring work.�
�Agreed,� Dom said. �But you don�t even seem alive��
Billy stiffened as they sat down at one of the outdoor picnic tables. �How do you mean?�
Dom sipped his hot tea. �Its like you�re not functioning. I mean, I understand how not sleeping properly means hell for the next day, but�it seems deeper than that.�
�Really, Dr Freud?� Billy snapped. �What would you know about it.�
Dom frowned. �What?�
�You�re sitting there pretending you know what�s happening with me. It�s so bloody annoying!�
�Woah, hold up, Bill. I�m just trying to help.�
�Well, maybe you should stop trying.�
Dom sat, shocked, and watched Billy nibble his muffin and sip his tea. He didn�t say another word, nor did he raise his head until Peter called them all over for a little meeting.
Dom followed, only because he had to, but his mind wasn�t anywhere near the weather cover Peter was talking about, instead, he was focused on what could possibly be wrong with his best friend.
�Were you listening to that?� Orlando asked, coming up beside Dominic as they made their way to the bus that would take them to set.
�What?� Dom demanded, snapping out of his thoughts.
�What Pete was talking about. Please tell me you were listening.�
�Weren�t you?�
Orlando shook his head. �I showed up late because I was distracted by the new intern, Kim.�
Dom tried to push all thoughts of Billy out his head. �Distracted, huh?�
Orlando smiled. �Yeah, that�s right. So anyway, I missed what Pete was talking about.�
�Can�t help you man,� Dom said as they stepped up onto the bus.
He immediately began to look for Billy, they always sat together. But when his eyes finally fell on Pippin, he was seated next to a techie, armed with a headset and a laptop that he was busily tapping away on.
Billy�s head rested against the window and his eyes were closed.
�He looks like shit,� Orlando commented as they passed him, finding two seats towards the back.
�I think there�s something wrong with him,� Dom said softly as more people climbed on the bus.
�He looks dead.�
Dom frowned at Orlando and then let his eyes float back to Billy, who seemed to be asleep.
Talk to me Billy, he thought. What haunts you?
**
�Cut!� Peter got up out of his seat and strode across the set towards his actors. �Billy, where�s the spark?�
Billy rubbed his eyes tiredly. �Sorry Pete. I guess I don�t have it.�
�Well you better get it, my friend,� Peter said. �We have another three days here at Edoras, so you better get the spark soon.�
Dom watched as Billy dragged himself off set. He accepted a cup of tea from his assistant Nina with a weak smile, and lowered himself into his chair.
It was nearly 5:30, and the sun was fading fast. It had nearly dropped all the way below the mountains, and darkness surrounded the Edoras set.
Dom itched at his neck and moved across the set, dodging some lighting guys, and made his way over to Billy.
�Tough day.�
�Mhhpf,� Billy muttered.
�What I wouldn�t give for a nice cold beer and a rugby match.�
�Well why don�t you go find one,� Billy snapped. �I�m trying to relax, here.�
He slouched further down into his seat and closed his eyes.
�Fine, Bill,� Dom said softly.
He walked away, genuinely perplexed, and was nearly sideswiped by Orlando pushing past him, pulling at his wig.
�Did you hear?� he asked, skidding to a stop.
�What?� Dom asked tiredly.
�We�re wrapping for today.�
�Oh. Good,� Dom responded, unbuttoning the neck of his costume so he could breathe a little easier.
�Yeah, bus is waiting. Whoever gets on first gets the first ride.�
Dom looked over at Billy, where Nina was talking to him. He then got up and shuffled out off the set.
�Come on, man!� Orlando called as he headed for the door.
Dom nodded and followed Orlando, secretly hoping Billy had maybe saved him a seat.
How foolishly idealistic, he scolded himself as he saw Billy slide in next to Viggo.
Dom sat in front of them next to Elijah, and made himself promise he wouldn�t turn around.
He spent the whole hour and a half drive biting the inside of his mouth, trying to take his mind off the idea of turning around.
It wasn�t until he tasted blood did he realise how stupid he was being. He could turn around, there wasn�t a law that said Dominic Monaghan couldn�t turn around in his seat to look at or speak to one William Boyd or Viggo Mortensen.
Satisfied with his reasoning, Dom twisted in his seat and looked behind him. In the dim bus lighting, Billy looked nearly ghastly. His normally vibrant skin was sallow and pale. His eyes were closed, and no amount of make-up could mask the dark shadows that surrounded them. His arms were crossed loosely over his chest, and they rose with each shallow breath he took. Even in his sleep he looked troubled.
�What�s with Bill?� Viggo asked suddenly.
Dom looked up. �Don�t know.�
�That�s no good.�
That was all Viggo said. A man of very few words.
But Dom didn�t mind, he didn�t want to talk about Billy with anyone but Billy. He wished his best mate would confide in him.
�Dom?�
�What is it, Elijah?� Dom asked tiredly, turning back around, setting the younger man with a gaze.
�You never answered my question this morning.�
Despite how tired he was, a smile still crept onto Dom�s face. �The one about my being gay?�
Elijah blushed. �Yeah, that one.�
�What do you wanna know, Lij?�
He shrugged. �You know�stuff.�
�What kind of stuff?� Dom had to admit, torturing Elijah was a good way to pass the time.
�Well, how long have you been gay?�
�About four years.�
�Have you kissed a guy?�
�Several.�
Elijah nodded. It was obvious what he wanted to ask. �Have you, um�held hands with a guy?�
�Yes.�
�Ok.�
�It�s not bad,� Dom said.
�What�s not?�
�The sex.�
�Oh,� Elijah blushed. �I wasn�t�asking�shit��
Dom laughed. �It�s ok, Lijah. I�ve had to answer these questions a million times.�
�Really?�
�Really. When I told my mates, it was like, they didn�t believe me. Had to ask me a thousand things before they accepted it.�
Elijah nodded. �So�the sex isn�t�painful?�
Dom shrugged. �The first time, yes. It�s fucking painful. But then, it stops being so painful.�
A smile played on Elijah�s lips. �It�s just like�ass stuff, right?�
A laugh bubbled up in Dom�s throat, but he didn�t want to embarrass Elijah anymore. �Depends what you call �ass stuff�.�
�Don�t make me say it, Dom,� he muttered, looking away.
�It�s like sex with a woman, but�not really.�
�But in the ass.�
�If you wanna put it like that.�
�How would you put it?�
�To me, it�s sex. It�s good.�
�Ok.� Elijah paused. �Thanks.�
Dom smiled. �No problem.�
**
Dom yawned and rolled over in his bed, looking at the numbers on his alarm clock.
11:14pm.
He was tired, but he couldn�t get his mind to settle down and go to sleep. He was thinking too much, about filming, about Billy, about life.
He didn�t know how to handle the situation with Billy. If he didn�t talk to him, he couldn�t help.
And he wanted to. He could never bear to see a friend in pain. And Dom was sure that was it. Billy was in pain for some reason, and he shouldn�t be. Someone as wonderful as Billy didn�t deserve to feel bad things.
Dom rolled back onto his other side and pressed his eyes closed, trying to force sleep. He remembered the last time he�d shared a bed with someone. Nearly three years ago. It had been too long since he�d loved someone.
Good job, Monaghan, he scolded. If you�re not upset over Billy, you�re depressed because you�re alone.
He threw back the blankets and got out of bed. He padded down the hall to the kitchen where he got a glass of water.
He was just about finished the glass when a loud banging sounded at the door.
Dom frowned. A quarter past eleven was not a time for house calls.
He was tempted not to answer, because if it was a drunk Orlando or Elijah, the last thing he wanted to do was spend the rest of the night cleaning up their vomit from his bathroom floor.
He turned to head back towards his bedroom when he heard the sobs.
Deep, wrenching sobs that nearly broke his heart. Whoever was on the other side of the door was in pain.
He crossed the living room quickly and pulled the door open to reveal Billy leaning against the doorframe, tears falling from his eyes, sobs escaping his throat.
�Oh Dom,� he said softly, falling forward into his arms.
Dom engulfed Billy in his arms and held him close, nudging the door closed with his foot. He walked them into the living room and sat down with Billy still wrapped around his body.
�Ssh, Bill,� he said softly, stroking his hair. �Talk to me. Talk to Dommie.�
Billy hiccuped and wiped his face on Dom�s white t-shirt. �I�m sorry Dom. So sorry.�
�What for?�
�For being such a bastard today.�
Dom rubbed Billy�s back in slow circles. �Don�t be sorry, Bill. I was worried about you. I am worried about you.�
�I�m sorry for making you worry.�
Dom shook his head. �No sorry�s, ok. I just want to help you, ok?�
Billy sniffed and sat up, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. �No sorry�s,� he repeated, taking a deep breath.
Dom�s hand stayed on his back as he let Billy get his bearings. �Talk to me.�
�I keep having these�dreams�nightmares�from when my parents died.�
Jesus.
�What happens?�
�I just keep seeing them in the accident over and over again. I can hear the rain, can smell the fire, can see their faces, can feel their pain��
Dom�s chest grew tight. �How long has it been happening, Bill?�
�Years. God, it feels like forever.�
�Have you ever told anyone about them?�
Billy shook his head. �You�re the first. I just needed to talk�I needed to talk��
Dom enveloped Billy in his arms. �I�m here, Bill.�
