Billy supposes the grin would do little or no harm to the sunny window on his left, so he looks out at the approaching eastern coastline of Florida and lets it loose. It feels as good as having a pee after holding it for fifteen hours. Well, no, Billy amends. It feels better.
Billy intends to kiss Dom for the first time today.
~
When Billy finally slides into the Miami airport, he�s got that fluttery-anxious feeling in his� well, in his everything. He readjusts the strap of his messenger bag because he�s got this silly notion that it looks more becoming on him from this angle than that one, and he hums happily to himself as he strides off to the baggage claim.
He thinks he must be the happiest person in this entire airport. After all, Billy has been doing some serious thinking and he�s pretty sure Dom has always liked him. Like that.
There aren�t enough clocks here; he keeps wanting to do a countdown from now until the moment he will see Dom (and Elijah, but mostly Dom). If he starts now from three minutes, at the exact moment he reaches zero, Dom (and Elijah) will appear. But he knows he�ll lose track, because nobody can count backwards for three minutes while retrieving their luggage. Especially not Billy, who is, as previously mentioned, the happiest person in the place. Probably the most excited, as well. He doesn�t see anyone else grinning like an idiot for no apparent reason.
On he walks, nodding politely to everyone who looks his way, feeling his palms become slightly moist. This is going to be good, Billy can tell. He already feels like he�s in high school again, the corridors choked with people as they are. And the butterflies in his stomach. Very high school. Very nice-feeling.
Once he reaches the carousel, he bounces lightly on the balls of his feet and the small girl who had been sitting next to him on the plane is suddenly next to him again. She�s holding her father�s hand, but he isn�t paying attention as she asks in a lisping American way, �What are you so happy about, mister?�
Billy readjusts his hands over his bag and smiles down at her. �Everything, of course.�
She sniffles�must have a cold�and becomes confused. �You talk funny. What did you say?�
�He said everything, honey.� Now her father is sizing Billy up, but he smiles and apparently decides this giddy wee Scottish man is harmless.
She glances from her father back to Billy. �Does that mean you�re in love?�
Billy laughs; isn�t it ironic that exactly three minutes have passed since he rejected the idea of counting down, and that this is exactly the instant that Dom jumps onto Billy�s back with a gruff, resounding, �Billeh!� Elijah runs around to Billy�s front and hugs him too, just before Billy would have toppled over under Dom�s weight.
The preliminary hugs and hellos end (and Billy off-handedly notes that the little girl has been tugged to a safer distance by her father), so once Dom is back on his feet, Billy turns around and jumps into another embrace and tries to make it symbolize everything that is going to happen.
~
Billy�s brain is trying to absorb too many details. There are the basics, the obvious: dark wood, open windows, lazy fans, warm air, beautiful people, the taste of the ocean in the air and the smell of the lime from the three waters their waiter has just set on the table. Elijah is wearing a tee-shirt and a goatee and isn�t sweating at all, but Billy�s skin is glistening and it feels sticky, slippery, strange. Elijah is smiling. Elijah�s hair looks very soft, like a kitten. Dom, though. Billy and Dom are sitting on the same side of the booth, although Dom and Elijah are across from each other and chattering away, just like always, just like it.
Dom is just so near and Billy thinks that he�s not been this close to another human being for quite a while. Dom�s right shoulder is touching Billy�s left, and when Billy watches Dom talk, there are little damp hairs right in front of his ear that stick together with wet, and Billy remembers yeah, Dom�s got that wide part right under his nostril that connects the tip of his nose to his filtrum. Yeah, this is what people look like from up close. They have pores and weird spaces of skin.
Billy has always found it alarming how much Dom�s hair can change from visit to visit. He has never seen this particular cut on him before, but he�s decided it�s very attractive, though not very Dom-like. Very British, though; it�s the way it�s longish on top and shortish on the bottom, parted in the middle and falling forward to cover his temples. Still dyed blonde and still looks as though Dom�s used something not quite gel; perhaps mousse, or perhaps� What does Margaret use? Volumizer? Billy would be able to smell it if he would get a little closer, but he decides to save that for later.
They�ve been talking about the plans, picking up Viggo and then Orlando later on, then having breakfast at that News Caf� with the �oatmeal� Billy likes before they all hop onto the ship. And once on the ship, they�ll be set, they�ll grab some girlfriends and go to karaoke nights and sunbathe on the deck together.
�So Billy,� Elijah says once the conversation comes around to it. �How are things with your girlfriend?� Billy is amused at the way it sounds like schoolyard teasing.
�Well,� Billy responds, and he�s been waiting for this. He looks between Dom and Elijah, back and forth, as he speaks. �I actually had to let her go about� four� weeks ago.� Smile. Nod. Yes.
Dom�s screwed his face up into disbelief��Why didn�t you tell me?! What the hell did you do that for?�
Billy chuckles and it�s okay to forget that Elijah is there for a moment. Billy just grins at Dom, buzzing with excitement, leaning forward onto the table a bit, telling him, �I wanted to move on to bigger and better things, you know?�
�Like what?�
Dom is amused. Dom is beautiful. Should Billy kiss him now, or wait until later? Probably later. (But Dom is so close.) Billy wants to create anticipation. (But he is so close.) Flirting will do for now. �Oh, just, you know, anything that could potentially happen on a cruise ship carrying Dom Monaghan.�
�Anything,� says Elijah, �meaning the apocalypse?�
Billy laughs without looking across the table, just at Dom. Dom breaks their eye contact, though, and flicks Elijah off. �He�s prolly talking about shagging me, the sexy beast.�
Score one for Billy: Dom still likes him after all these years. It�s so obvious. Dom will most likely explode from happiness when Billy kisses him. Everything is going so well.
Billy says nothing. He quirks his eyebrows and takes a sip of water from the glass, not through the straw. And then he looks away, smirking, from the thoughtful arc of Dom�s own eyebrows that aren�t sure whether Billy�s being serious or not. Perfect.
Perfect.
Billy is definitely going to kiss Dom tonight.
~
It�s the sound of Dom�s voice that wakes Billy up, which seems completely appropriate. Dom is in the hallway of the hotel, just outside his door, jabbering on loudly enough to hear, but not to decipher words. Billy grins and presses his face into the pillow, draws the blanket tightly around himself as he curls into the tightest fetal position he can muster. He peeks at the clock and he�s only napped for half an hour, but that�s alright, his jetlag isn�t as bad as it is when he flies to LA. It�s five in the afternoon.
A girl giggles out in the hallway, then Dom says something in a deep and quiet voice. She doesn�t say anything back, and he�s silent too, but they�re still there, right outside the door.
It doesn�t mean anything, right? Dom�s like this all the time. Flirting all over the place. He still likes Billy. Of course, why would he stop now?
Billy rolls nimbly onto his feet and pads over to the door (limping awkwardly because his left leg has fallen asleep) to check out the peep-hole. There, in the centre, is Dom�s enormous ear, and to the right of it his face is attached to the girl�s face. It�s squished and moving and hard to tell, but.
This hurts far more than it should, because Billy�s knees want to give out and he has to sit down on the edge of his bed. Maybe indulging in his attraction to Dom was a bad idea, because Dom might not want Billy anymore, or Dom might kiss him once or twice and decide to just be friends, which doesn�t sound like it but really it�s the end of all things. And god, it really hurts, and there�s no way Dom would hurt Billy on purpose. Dom must not know Billy fancies him yet. Maybe it�s time to up the ante.
Billy holds fast to his plan: he will kiss Dom tonight.
~
There is a moment of quiet when Viggo gets up to answer his mobile; Orlando and Elijah are using the loos and, since Dom sits on the opposite side of the table, Billy gets up and slips into the chair next to him. He�s been feeling it all night, Billy has�the franticness, the anxiety, and all feelings that would generally accompany the act of preparing to kiss one�s best mate. But he�s a bit more off-kilter now than he was at lunch. Dom hasn�t said a word about the girl in the hallway and Billy, for some reason, can�t bring himself to ask.
Billy grins and winks at Dom all the same. �Hello.� Billy is good at being confident; he takes a pull of Dom�s beer, sets it rather forcefully onto the table and looks at Dom, his heart pounding like the engine of a twenty-five-year-old mufflerless car.
�Hey. Bill.� Yes, Billy has noticed Dom�s growing disconcertment, but lends it to Dom�s probable inability to believe that Billy has indeed become infatuated with him. Dom looks away and takes a small sip of his beer, then holds it close to his lips when he�s done.
Billy will have none of that; he can�t let this beer get in the way. He grabs the glass and sets it on the table.
�So,� Dom quickly says, �Met this girl today.�
~
Another chance arises a little later on, but Billy refuses to take it. He and Dom are left alone on the roof of their South Beach hotel�how ironic that they�re on South Beach�when Orlando bids them goodnight and heads back inside sometime during the two o�clock hour.
The two of them are leaning (shoulders touching again through no act of Billy�s) on the short wall running around the perimeter of the roof, staring out at the deep dark ocean before them with the crescent moon sparkling faintly on the surface. They�d surfed right there this afternoon, Billy thinks, right where the moonlight is hitting the water.
The silence begins eating at Billy, not too badly, because Billy won�t let it. But it�s hard to speak into when all he can think about is what he did just a couple of hours before, and how awkward it was, and how he should have seen how uncomfortable he was making Dom. He can�t believe he had the tenacity to take Dom�s beer out of his hands and set it on the table. What was he thinking?
The longer the silence stretches, the harder it is to break. Billy wants to apologize and take it back, but that would make things far more uncomfortable than they already are.
�Sometimes,� Dom says, and instantly Billy realizes it�s only been about ten seconds since the door shut after Orlando, �I feel like I�m kind of fake, you know? Like all I am is an amalgamation of thousands of little things I�ve picked up from random people. I�ll say to myself, �Hey. Pippin wears a scarf and manages to make it look pretty cool, so if I wear a scarf, I can be pretty cool too.� And it�s like everything� my entire personality came from somewhere else, and nothing is actually original, like, really mine, you know?�
Billy grabs onto this and it�s all he needs to swing himself back up into the realm of normal Billythought. �Maybe we should lock you in your room on the ship for the first half of the cruise. Then you�re bound to come up with something original.�
�Yeah, like vomit. That�s pretty original. I mean, you can�t get Dom vomit anywhere else. It comes from the heart.�
There is no need, Billy feels, to look at Dom now. His face would be too close and Dom would be able to tell that Billy� Well, he can probably tell already, but. And isn�t it ridiculous that they�re talking about vomit, and Billy wishes he could kiss Dom? �I hope it doesn�t come from the heart. I think something�s wrong with your tubes in there.� Billy pauses and frowns; he�s been on dozens of boats with Dom, hundreds, probably, and Dom has never gotten seasick before. �Why would you vomit if we locked you in your room? We�ve told you time and time again, Dom, that�s disgusting. Anorexia is the way to go.�
�I get seasick if I can�t see the water.�
�How are you going to sleep?�
�Three options.� Dom must be smiling on the inside, but not on the outside. �Number one: I�ll become a zombie and just, you know, not sleep at all. Number two: I�ll fall asleep on deck with my eyes open. Number three: I�ll stare at Elijah�s eyes as I fall asleep in my cabin, that�ll be like virtual reality of the ocean.�
Billy laughs as softly as he can, which isn�t too soft at all but he knows he can�t change the way he laughs. �What if Elijah conks out before you?�
�Sleeps with his eyes open.�
�Right, yeah, but what if he has a fluke and manages to close them? Feed him chocolate and coffee.�
�Tie him to the chair.�
�And, just in case, we can tape his eyelids up.�
Another kind of quiet comes along and wraps peacefully around them; they are tired and will head to their rooms very soon. Dom is rooming with Elijah and Orlando with Viggo; Billy gets the empty room because he�ll wake up first and nobody wants to listen to him humming in the bathroom at nine AM.
The smile remains on Billy�s face; when he doesn�t think about them, the smiles always just stick there like Post-It notes. �I think you probably look cooler in a scarf than Pippin.�
Dom looks at Billy, so now Billy will allow himself to look back. Dom is smiling too, and since it�s an I�m-about-to-hug-you smile, Billy removes his weight from the rail-wall as Dom wraps his arms around him. There are no words, and after a few tight seconds, Dom steals away to the door.
Billy wonders if he will ever kiss Dom.
